Today's Document

tannertan36

oozey mess
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PR's Tumblrdome

#extradirty
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taylor price
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KIROKAZE
One Nice Bug Per Day
$LAYYYTER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
The Bowery Presents

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club

pixel skylines
YOU ARE THE REASON

if i look back, i am lost
Cosimo Galluzzi

Product Placement

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@iloveshenjiu
head canon that lbh rapidly rises to power as a demon lord not bc of his martial prowess but actually bc he’s a hyper competent bureaucrat. sqq having lbh do all his paperwork from teenhood turned him into a meticulous spreadsheet queen and no demon lord can out color code him
luo binghe, teenage shadow leader leader of nerd scholar peak and known hater of sword jocks taking the world by storm with his immaculate inventory systems
Someone pointed out that it’s hard to find the full comic so here it is all at once!
Happy Animal Crossing update day! Reposting my Danmei Crossing guys all together bc I like them 🙂↕️💖
Who would you invite to your island?
Chu wanning is THE character ever. He's powerful, talented, and righteous. He seems perfect and put together. He's a hot mess. An absolute wreck. His room looks like a hurricane touched down in it. He regularly falls off his bed. He makes robots. He's a hazard in the kitchen aside from exactly one (1) dish. He has a resting bitch face but honestly is just socially anxious. His only friends are his students, his boss, and a little gremlin dragon he made (which can grow in size. And he can ride it. He rides a fucking dragon). He's gay. His taste in women is "female. alive." He has a terrible sugar addiction. He can drink you under the table several times over. He has sexy dreams about getting absolutely railed into next week by his beloved. He wants to be held gently and be called beautiful. He knows next to nothing abt sex. He stuck a candlestick up his ass. He once tried to remove his spiritual core by carving it out of his chest with a sword. He dragged his beloved up 3799 stairs while on the verge of death. He was carved from a block of magic wood. He traveled through time and space, creating an entirely new timeline to change both his own and his beloved's fates. He split apart his soul and shoved half of it into his beloved. He ran away when his beloved confessed to him. He's afraid of heights. He cannot handle anything even remotely spicy. He dies. He comes back to life after 5 years. He gambles. He's a man of the people. He won't hesitate to cut a bitch. Children are terrified of him. What else.
every new thing I learn about this man leaves me speechless
QuJiu omegaverse were Shen Jiu is an omega masquerading as an alpha and Yue Qingyuan is an alpha. However, alllll of the other peak lords are convinced YQY is an omega pining after and begging for a scrap of attention from the least liked alpha on the mountain. This makes them all hate Shen Jiu even more because how is he resisting this pitiful omega's sad big brown eyes and yearning subvocals?
Eventually Shen Jiu goes into heat and YQY happens to be in the vicinity of the bamboo house so he gets yoinked inside. Shen Jiu is all "if you tell me why you never came back, I'll let you knot me" and YQY confessed SO FUCKING FAST.
Several months later at a peak lord meeting, it's obvious Shen Jiu is pregnant and YQY is a glowing and doting on his very pregnant, very omega mate.
Everyone's flabbers are gasted.
Everyone reacts differently to the realization that the sad Omega pitifully chasing sqq was in fact a sopping wet pathetic Alpha obsessed with a cold and cruel... Omega...
Ning Yingying knows her husband is a bad person. She just realized too late. Less than a year into their marriage, Ning Yingying has become nothing more than a bed warmer in a set of seven. She isn’t an assassin like Liu Mingyan or a general like Sha Hualing. She didn’t help Luo Binghe ingratiate and take over a new sect. She wasn’t a conquest of old enemies. She knows that the only care her husband has for her is reliant upon her being a safe, comforting pair of arms to lay in, to comb his hair and nurse his grudges. Already she knows she’ll never be named empress. She doesn’t want to be. All she wants to kill the sick bastard that tore the limbs, tongue, and eye from the man that raised her. She wants to wake up on a firm bed in a bamboo forest, secure in the knowledge that Luo Binghe is dead, and can’t hurt anyone she cares about any more.
So she draws a bath for her husband. He’s sore after another unsuccessful campaign against Yue Qingyuan. He’s already taken out his anger for the day— the jade pass to the water prison still hangs on his belt. Ning Yingying undresses him, flatters him, rubs his shoulders like a docile, doting wife should. She helps him into the bath, grabs the salts and powders from the hutch, and activates the acid. The fire and heat it produces is enough to singe off several inches of her hair, but it does the job. In minutes, there is no more Luo Binghe that can regenerate. Just a nasty pool of foul smelling liquid.
The takeover was far easier than expected. Liu Mingyan doesn’t want the sect destroyed. Sha Hualing and Mobei Jun respect anyone capable of killing Luo Binghe. Little Palace Mistress won’t miss her hands too terribly. Within a day, Ning Yingying became an empress, and within a fortnight she dismantled an empire. She took her Jiu-jiu from that filthy place her own naïveté condemned him to. Huan Hua is little more than a vassal sect to Cang Qiong, its riches going a long way to repair the damages done by its former master. Even so, things can’t go back to how they were. To say nothing of the lives lost, Shen Qingqiu cannot and will not return to his former post. In the end, Ning Yingying does get to wake up on a firm bed in a bamboo forest— only as its master instead of its student. Every year she pulls in droves of children from the muddy roads. She cleans their faces and bandages their scrapes, and tells them there won’t be any more wars. She will make sure there are no more Luo Binghe’s.
doodled some manticores... i meant to make them properly monstrous and scary but idk I think they're kinda cute now
Beast Tamer Wife AU.
Shen Yuan transmigrates into a wife and starts fighting for Luo Binghe's favor. Not for the sex or the prestige or anything. Those are nice but not as nice as the beasts that Luo Binghe brings back sometimes. He needs those.
Moshang Soulmate au where SQH's soulmate mark is very much not Mobei-Jun's and not wanting to deal with his king thinking he has split loyalties he burns it off without much though. Soulmates didn't exist in his world and he lived then he'll be fine.
Flash forward to Mobei-Jun finding this out he loses his mind to yet unseen levels yearning because what do you mean his beloved servant threw away his chances of having a soulmate by taking fire (very deadly to ice demons) to his flesh!? FOR HIM!!? Because he's life is Mobei-Jun's and Mobei-Jun's alone?????
The loyalty and devotion would kill him on the spot.
The scene where Tianlang-Jun catches Zhuzhi-Lang "in bed" with Shen Qingqiu is so much funnier with the added context from the extras. Once you have Zhuzhi-Lang's account of what happened, it means that things went down more like this:
Tianlang-Jun: let's check on my beloved nephew and Master Shen to see how they're doing. I want Zhuzhi-Lang to have someone to take care of him when I'm gone, so maybe that pesky "ties that bind" curse will bring him and Master Shen closer together ~ ❤️
*Tianlang-Jun walks in on Shen Qingqiu and Zhuzhi-Lang in bed together*
Shen Qingqiu, internally: oh shit, Binghe's dad is going to think I'm having sex with his nephew!! How embarrassing!! But since Zhuzhi-Lang isn't saying anything, that must mean he's tacitly taking our side and doing us a solid by not blowing our cover!
Zhuzhi-Lang, internally: Immortal Master Shen is trying to escape!! This is bad!! And Luo BInghe is here, trying to aid him!! But my uncle explicitly asked me to seduce Peak Lord Shen, and he would be very disappointed if he realized we were not, in fact, having sex right now, so I shall...not correct my lord's assumptions on the matter.
Luo Binghe, hidden under the covers, shaking in a jealous rage, squeezing that poor snake like a looneytoon:
Zhuzhi-Lang, wheezing, not even trying to speak:
Tianlang-Jun, now the proudest uncle in the three realms: my, my, don't stop on my account—
Hanfu Studies: aka, a mini summary of my recent research binge.
A Wen Ning that Can eat the soup. Which is to say a before the whole ghost general thing. (Really anything with that darling dumpling boy)
When Ning deserves to Eat the Soup!! I think he and Jiang Yanli would’ve been besties…!
following the "mobei jun has been unsuccessfully beating/courtinf shang qinghua for years", I think liu qingge should have a, ahem, reputation in the demon realm. he's constantly going into the demon realm and beating the shit out of EVERYONE. humanoid and more monsterous, male, female, everything in between. demons think he is the most promiscuous, slutty person alive. this also results in demons tracking him down in the human realm to try their hand at wooing (beating) him, which just perpetuates this rumor. nobody tell him though, he would be mortified if he knew.
@nikonuee preserving ur tags bc i laughed irl
Sokka is captured aboard Zuko's ship. At some point during Tea & Interrogation with Iroh and Zuko, he lets slip that he's the son of Chief Hakoda.
“Chief Hakoda?” the Prince of the Kill It With Fire Nation repeats, like his brain is as stupid as his face. Or like he just realized he’s taken a high-value hostage, redeemable for one (1) ransom against an enemy leader.
“Did I say Chief Hakoda?” Sokka laughs, nervously. “I meant, ah—”
“Shut up, peasant,” the prince shouts. And then sort of… chokes on his own words, getting redder and redder.
---
“Perhaps a break, Prince Zuko?” says Uncle, like this is… like this is the tea-time social he’s set the table for.
Zuko is in the hallway with the door slammed behind him before he can think. Thinking. Thinking is a thing he needs to do, and Uncle’s proverbs only ever leave his thoughts feeling twisted around, and—
And that is not a peasant that sacrificed himself, to give the Avatar a chance to flee. That’s a fellow prince, or whatever the Water Tribe would call him.
---
“So,” Sokka says, spinning the teacup between his cuffed hands contemplatively. “How much poison would you say is in here? And what kind?”
The old man is sputtering indignantly, but Sokka is very seriously considering taking his first sip. If it’s laced with something to loosen his tongue, well, can’t get much worse there. It’s not like he knows where his dad is. Or anything useful. Certainly not more useful than handing the Fire Nation the son of their fleet’s leader. And if it’s something deadly, well...
He doesn’t know what his dad would do or give to get him back. But it wouldn’t be good, for the war or the world or their tribe.
He figured he’d die, when he’d shouted at Katara to go, take him and go. He hadn’t realized how much worse this could get. Was getting. Because the son and heir of Fire Lord Burn Them All was out in the hallway, thinking.
---
Zuko thinks. About what his own father would do, if he were to receive a ransom letter. The disappointment. The… repercussions.
---
“You’re what?” Sokka asks.
“I am releasing you,” His Shoutiness repeats, through clenched and grinding teeth.
“Huh,” Sokka says, and takes another sip from his cup, because oh, this is hallucinogenic tea. Good stuff. “Care to explain that?”
---
No, Zuko wants to shout. But this is the fellow son of a world leader. Zuko hasn’t had many friends, and he’s not looking to add the Water Prince to that atrophied number, but.
But he could understand.
“You stood and fought when you could not win, for a cause you believed in,” Zuko said, and he didn’t know why Uncle suddenly looked so pained. “I will not demand trinkets from your father for your return. If he hears of this, it will not be from me. You will be released at the nearest neutral port.”
---
Like an undersized fish, Sokka did not say.
“That is… very honorable of you,” Sokka says, and doesn’t know why the prince looks like he’s been gutted.
#Sokka: why yes my sister is a waterbending prodigy why do you ask#Zuko: projects onto Sokka HARDER
Tags by @lizardlicks
#the nearest neutral port just so happens to be kyoshi island #why say aang and katara what are YOU doing here??
Zuko is grinding his teeth SO HARD he did not come here to start an international incident and he WON'T start one stop looking at him like that Uncle he is doing something Honorable the Southern Prince said so and so help him he is going to KEEP BEING HONORABLE while the other boy is watching even as the Avatar creeps closer and closer one little side step at a time looking all curious and hopeful
like an actual child
THE BENDING PRODIGY SISTER IS THANKING HIM REPEAT ZUKO IS IN THE SIGHTS OF THE BENDING PRODIGY SISTER
she is smiling at him and sounds incredibly sincere
(and also confused)
and he KNOWS what "sincere" smiles from sisters mean
abort abort abort
maybe he can get his ship away from here before she "accidentally" sinks it
(clearly her bending fumbling at his ship was a clever disguise, if she'd REALLY been that bad she'd have been CAPTURED, had she been MOCKING his crew? clearly that was the only--WHY IS THE AVATAR STANDING AT HIS ELBOW)
No really WHY is the unfathomably powerful (literal child) right next to his elbow and GRINNING up at him
And talking about how Zuko is a prince. And Sokka is a prince.
(the sister is laughing behind her hand REPEAT the sister is laughing abort abort abort--)
And since there's two princes and an Avatar here on this neutral island why don't they have
why don't they have
peace talks
"I will make tea!" Uncle beams and instead of using that as cover to retreat back to their ship goes to do so IN THE VILLAGE and Zuko
Zuko can't leave him alone with these people
So there he is. On Kyoshi Island. Incapable of admitting in front of Prince Sokka and Princess Katara and Avatar, The that he might
maybe
not have the ability to create legally binding agreements like a real prince should
which is about when Zhao shows up. And you know who doesn't have the legal right to INTERRUPT peace talks?
Motherturtleducking Zhao
which is to say
he is sincerely sorry, Father, for the overstep of his position
and rest assured no formal promises were made
but please see the enclosed First Draft treaty between the Fire Nation and the United Southern Water Tribes
(as well as a small request for reparations to Kyoshi Island, for peace talk hosting and minor fire damage)
And rest further assured that he has taken the joint advice of Avatar Aang and General Iroh
And will be traveling with the Avatar to facilitate communication with the Dragon Throne
Until such time as the Fire Lord commands him not to
Sincerely,
Your Most Loyal And Obedient Son
Zuko
#anyway that's how Zuko spends all of season one on Team Avatar #The Fire Nation they encounter: are. are you a traitor #Zuko: The Father Lord has been fully appraised of the situation and I am under his direct command let us pass or YOU are the traitors #Ozai. meanwhile. #takes until season two to start regretting his habit of burning his son's correspondence on sight (via muffinlance)
上襦:棉 下裙:外层真丝棉 内衬薄棉 拍下后请留下以下数据:身高、体重、三围、通袖长、裙长(含裙头), 齐胸需留下腋下围,比甲需留下肩宽。 (via 【国风少女】 汉服 交领 衫裙 ———绾碧。-淘宝网)
国风少女 http://guofengshaonv.taobao.com/
Chinese hanfu.