Greetings Asshole

[i-am-a-fish]

I think everyone should have infinite fries. like, a bucket. that appears in everyone's room. decanter of endless fries

[im-a-slut-for-science]

Thank you

[egberts]

can grief stop hiding in the half smoked cigarettes my impoverished father would've farmed from the cracks in the sidewalk outside of a convenience store? the same half smoked cigarettes that eventually killed him of lung cancer? that he insisted on taking secret puffs of until he literally couldn't breathe anymore? it's an ironically cruel place for a fond memory to be

[egberts]

my dad would've smoked that

[curlyburp]

[egberts]

this made me howl with laughter so thank you

[lesbian-toddhoward]

tiktok teen lgbts would not survive in the 80s and 90s when lesbians called gay guys fags lovingly and gay guys would call us dykes lovingly

[lesbian-toddhoward]

now rebloggable. fuck with me

[yosaplyop-deactivated20230729]

Why the fish

[wizardgoblin]

The fish is what makes the post rebloggable

[theonlycabbage]

The fish is what makes this post fuckable

[mapswithoutwyoming]

happy flat fag friday

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no more historic events this decade that is ENOUGH, i’m putting my foot down

[alettertofutureme]

History is not done with us yet my friend

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I have received all manner of threat, up to and beyond “I will play a flute carved from your femur,” and yet this is the first time I’ve felt truly threatened

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i knew posting this in 2022 was risky but holy fucking shit

[i-like-to-cry]

GO FERB GO!!!🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

[newtonpermetersquare]

why have i been disgraced

[probablyasocialecologist]

Around 50-85% of the oxygen in Earth’s atmosphere comes from phytoplankton

[xwxda-m1n3n-g035-nyahxwx]

phytoplankton appreciation post 💚

[acebycircle]

He just sits his ass down on all those buttons that could or could not be firing lasers into space

[copperbadge]

If we can’t invent a touchscreen that recognizes an ass-dial by the 24th century, we really have no business being in space at all.

[copperbadge]

Happy 10th anniversary to by far the most viral reblog I ever made. I still see screengrabs of this on my own facebook dash like, once a month.

[fairie-jane]

If you want a woman to have fat titties and a fat ass but can't handle the accompanying fat tummy, arms, and legs, then you are a coward and your bloodline will not survive the winter.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I mean obviously I would fuck a monster but more than that I would bond emotionally with a monster over our shared sense of alienation and rejection from a hostile universe. together we would explore our deep-seated fear of being inherently unlovable, and reassure each other of our innate value as sentient beings deserving of love and kindness. i will hold them gently, and wipe the tears from their googly eyestalk-tentacles, and something will begin to heal

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and then we fuck nasty, im not a saint

[not-a-space-alien]

Cats crave routine so much that if you don't give them any, they'll invent some for you and then get pissed off if you don't follow the secret rules that they decided for the household

[im-a-slut-for-science]

Mom?

[ingydars]

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth to climb trees and play with plastic animals are buying foundation at the drug store

[manisthebastard]

for a second i thought you meant foundation like, a building foundation. not makeup

[cognitohazardous]

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth are building something great and terrible on the edge of town

[vetchtibbles]

welcome to my farm where I keep my dark horse my black sheep my scapegoat and my underdog. my canary in the coal mine died ages ago

[your-personal-ghost]

It’s a mess here: someone looked your gift dark horse in the mouth, led it to water, and jumped back on it. Your ducks aren’t in a row, someone counted the chickens before they hatched. Your geese are silly, your brown cows aren’t explaining how, and every one of these sheep is a wolf but they don’t even notice with the amount of wool over their eyes. I’m fining you one million gold coins.

[vetchtibbles]

it was the goat blame the goat

[the-punforgiven]

Visit Original Link

[asmuchasidliketo]

#this is very good #its giving early 2010's tumblr audio shitpost #congratulations as per @nattousan's tags

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Do you like this song?

Yes, it rocks

No

Voting ended onJun 15, 2025

[were--ralph]

can't stop listening to this

[yv7]

i hope youre being a massive faggot tonight. and insane . @everyone

[damazcuz]

"What were you doing at the devils sacrament" jarking my whole thing off. Next quiestuon.

[winged-void]

the internet is so awesome because it connects me to other autistic girls who have also spent a decade being really mad about people who cry and scream over Pluto not being classified as a planet anymore.

[winged-void]

I have two core arguments:

1. it's a rock it does not care

2. you don't even wanna learn about the other dwarf planets do you. you don't even care about any of this you just wanna be upset about the one thing you remember from the 4 week astronomy unit you had in science class when you were 13.

[winged-void]

why did you decide dwarf planet meant less. you're the one who doesn't care about them. I hate you.

[im-a-slut-for-science]

For me I say honary title just cause of how long it was classified as such.