Bart Allen
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@im-always-changing
Bart Allen
they couldn't write hawkeye saying goodbye to trapper john bc you couldn't show gay sex on television in 1975
was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"
Supercut version two
Inspo: @pearlescentswirls
House of Memories version one
Inspo: @pearlescentswirls
if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.
lesbian heated rivalry wouldnât be in hockey because there are already many out queer women in hockey due to the fact that hockey is viewed as a menâs sport. the whole reason hockey is captivating for mlm is because it is a toxically masculine sport and the idea of having out queer men in that sport is surprising (requiring them to stay closeted/have situationships/etc), whereas it is not nearly as surprising for queer women. therefore, lesbian heated rivalry would actually occur in a setting like ballet, gymnastics, or some other stereotypically feminine sport (that has toxic feminine standards) where queer women are not as visible. in this essay i will
âRejected for SLEEPCHAMBERâs âSUBMIT TO DESIREâ LPâ (1985) by John Zewizz â The negative print makes familiar gestures suddenly strange.
EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022) dir. Daniels
@creatorsofcolornetâ event 16: style swap âŻÂ @lightkeykidâ (insp)
Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)
Maybe there is something out there, some new discovery that will make us feel like even smaller pieces of shit. Something that explains why you still went looking for me through all of this noise. And why, no matter what, I still want to be here with you. I will always, always, want to be here with you.Â
look i love fic ilya being the ultimate wag but if this is a safe space to speak #mytruthâŠ
#myilya is not retiring before shane, and #myshane would literally be nauseated if he did. like these boys are meant to be at the TOP toGETHER. they will play together until even the most dedicated hollander/rozanov stans are quietly asking if maybe it might be time for retirement. they are pushing each other to their physical limits every time they are on the ice together. they are playing deadly good hockey up until the last fucking moment of reason. they are winning cups, they are raising rookies, they are giving every last drop of blood sweat and tears to this game, but also to each other. because hockey is so intrinsically tied to their love for one another, they canât be decoupled. they met each other because of hockey. they were forced together because of hockey. they proved that they can only rival each other because of hockey. they get to spend every second of every day together because. of. hockey.
like imagine (in this world of hollanov RPF) the bewilderment shane would feel at hearing that people imagine ilya domesticated and raising kids and dogs only a few years into their marriage. shane feels a little guilty about his gut reaction, but fuck, the first thing that made shane attracted to ilya other then his stunning fucking face in those russian clips was the way ilya played. before the two of them even met, shane knew ilya was the only player who could come close to his talent and drive. and before he knew that ilyaâs accent could make his blood simmer, or that his body would make shane literally weak in the knees, or that the simplest touch from ilya would put shane in that pleasant floaty place, he knew he was turned on by ilyaâs talent. so was it so unbelievable that shane thought, just maybe, he would lose a little bit of that spark with his husband if ilya wanted to quit so soon?
the guilt isnât necessary, because when shane brings up the idea to ilya, his husband is also fucking offended. because why would ilya fucking rozanovârussian menace, second fastest skater in the league, three time award winner for best captainâquit? to what? stand in the fucking family box with shaneâs name on his back? sit at home with dogs and kids while shane is on the road? give up this thing that freed him from the cold clutches of russia and all it meant to him, that gave him purpose, that gave him shane?
and of course they want kids. they know they do. but they figured theyâd adopt when theyâre retired, maybe an older kid because of their age. or maybe theyâll be up for surrogacy, depending on how late they waited to retire and how brutal hockey was to their bodies. but they had years â many many fucking years â to figure it out. and in the meantime, they will continue to be the only two who can challenge each other, the only two who can push each other, the only two at the top. together.
Post-outing Shane loving every time someone shovel-talks him, more or less menacingly, or compliments him for bagging someone as wonderful as Ilya, especially after he's had everyone before more or less judging negatively his choice upon finding out.
Svetlana squaring him up and down promising his ashes will never be recovered if he hurts Ilyushka? Perfectly understandable, he wholeheartedly agrees with the sentiment
Marleau slapping him on the shoulder "Legendary pull, Hollzy! You'll take care of my guy, right?"? New friend unlocked, a delightful goldmine of embarrassing stories and anecdotes about his husband.
Attentive Hazy, with his all knowing goalie-eyes, smiling kindly "you two are a goalie's worst nightmare and the absolute perfect match"? Might even go easy on him during training. But like only once...for half the session.
Sweet baby faced Luca stuttering all embarrassed his congratulations for his engagement with his amazing Cap and childhood idol, and admitting he always thought they'd make a good match? Where are the adult-adoption papers?
thinking about Shane's first pride night with the Centaurs ;u;
âoh no, my audience has begun to guess the big twists of my story and are accurately predicting what will happen!â
incorrect response: write the rest of the story to be as twisty, shocking and counter to expectations as possible, regardless of whether this is a logical or satisfying way for the plot to go
correct response:
can someone elaborate on the âmake hoaxâ and âpost angry tweet about âleakââ part. iâm stupid and donât understand things
sure!
(youâre not stupid. I posted this thinking it would amuse a handful of mutuals who all knew the context and that would be about it, so I didnât think about providing any other explanation. I had no idea it would spread this far.)
Iâll start from the very beginning just to be thorough. so this is Alex Hirsch, creator and head writer of Gravity Falls, a show which had a big focus on mystery, conspiracies, codes and ciphers, etc. the whole plot is kicked off by one of the main characters finding a mysterious old journal in the woods, which detailed all kinds of weird and supernatural things, but then ended abruptly with the author saying they had to hide the journal because they were being watched. the central driving mystery of the show, therefore, was the question of who wrote the journal and what happened to them.
now, the thing about Gravity Falls is that, while it must be said that the writers werenât always quite as sure of their plans as we tend to like to think they are, it is very much a fair play mystery, with legitimate clues to what was going on. but the writers were caught off guard by how quickly the show attracted a dedicated audience, including a lot of people outside the primary presumed demographic, who started solving the clues faster than expected. so some of the fans were able to correctly guess who the author was before it was revealed in the show, and the theory started spreading. this put the writers in something of a panic, because this was THE mystery that the whole story revolved around, with Ÿ of the show building up to the dramatic reveal in the middle of season 2. they wanted it to be a mystery that could be figured out, sure, but they werenât prepared for people to solve it so far in advance of when it was planned to be revealed, which would have really taken away from the big moment. they werenât going to change the main story itself, but having been caught unaware by how much attention the fans were paying, they wanted to up the ante and make the mystery more complex to solve going forwardâbut first they needed to buy some time and throw the fandom off the scent for a little longer.
hence, Alexâs plan as described above. they whipped up a fake shot that appears to give away the identity of the author as being another character in the show, put it on a screen in the studio as if it was a real animation frame, took a picture of it, and âleakedâ it online. it was initially decided to be a hoax (albeit, I think, presumed to be a hoax originating from outside the production team), until Alex posted this tweet:
âŠbefore quickly deleting it (though not so quickly that it didnât get seen, of course).
it worked well enough to distract most people for a while, and wasnât revealed as a hoax until a year later, when an episode aired that definitively proved that the supposed screenshot could never have happened, at which point Alex owned up to the whole thing as seen in the tweet above. by then the episode with the real reveal wasnât far off, and while people did still work it out ahead of time, it was more of an âOH MY GOD I KNEW IT!â moment than a âbooooooring, weâve known that for agesâ moment, which of course was what the writers wanted all along.
personally I find this a fascinating approach to dealing with the problem of spoilers, because it doesnât affect the story itself at all; if you watch Gravity Falls todayâor if you were watching it when it aired without any significant contact with the fandomâyouâd never know about it. ultimately, the problem the writers were facing wasnât that some people might guess the answer to the mysteryâthey never wanted to make it completely impossible to predictâso much as it was that they hadnât designed the story to stand up to so many people working on the puzzle together, which resulted in a sort of total output of puzzle-solving ability that far outstripped the capability of any one solo human being. so their solution is something thatâs very much targeted toward delaying that group problem-solving, without actually affecting the experience of any individual person watching the show.
plus, itâs very in keeping with the overall tone of the show.
and now you know!
if your audience guesses the ending of your story
donât:
change the ending
do:
gaslight them
a centaurs appreciation post bc I love these characters and this team with all my heart đ
On Our Backs (August/September 1998)
Harris do his best as always