DID/OSDD/overall CDD ask game bc i love answering questions and am in a silly mood :))
This is like, half serious stuff, half silly goofy stuff so if ur using this ofc answer questions at ur own discretion. Also the use of the word "you" can be the collective or individual "you"! Answer how you want
👁 Was discovery a sudden or gradual thing for you? (eg. did it feel like everything came to light all at once, or did you slowly but surely notice and piece things together?)
🌕 Did you have any awareness of other alters before discovery? if so, how did you view them (e.g. "moods", ocs, imaginary friends, etc.)
🫧 Who fronts the most in day-to-day life? Do you have a host, a "main cast", everyone switching/fronting equally, etc.?
🍎 Does anyone have any very passionate/specific food/drink preferences (love or hate)?
☂️ Are you more overt or covert? Are there any alters who break this norm (are exceptionally good/bad at masking)?
🎭 What term(s) do you use for alters? (eg. alters, parts, identities, people, headmates, etc.) Feel free to share reasoning!
🎊 Is there a prominent gender among alters? How do you present your gender(s)?
🍃 How frequently do you switch? Is this frequency comfortable/manageable for you?
☁️ Do you have day-to-day amnesia? If yes, what does that feel/look like for you?
🌈 Any happy/"success" stories from opening up to people/reaching out for support you'd like to share?
🎲 Do you have any collective hobbies (activities everybody/almost everybody enjoys doing)?
💥 Do you have any physical symptoms related to dissociation/switching/etc.?
☄️ What symptom/aspect of the disorder is hardest to deal with in day-to-day life/something that's more irritating/difficult/complicated for you?
🌼 What symptom/aspect of this disorder actually doesn't bother you/is actually helpful/you're grateful for?
💡 What's one thing that you do to help ground yourself?
⭐️ Are you usually aware of who's fronting? How do you figure out who's fronting when you don't know/can't tell?
🦉 Is there anything you wish you could make everybody instantly know/understand about CDD's?
👓 Are there any characters you feel really "seen" by (whether they're meant to be a representation of a CDD or not)?
🎸 Are there any songs/albums/artists that you feel "seen" by (whether they're meant to be a representation of a CDD or not)?
note: this ask game is made and intended for those w DID/OSDD/p-DID/etc. please only use this if this applies to you :))
Dissociation is like a free drug trip you didn’t ask for and you come out of it like what the fuck did I do that whole time and there’s a 4 half-done art pieces in front of you and two of your friends are mad at you
No, amnesia isn’t *just* blacking out and coming to like you’ve passed out.
Amnesia is the lack of memory. It’s completely omitted from your mind. It’s akin to trying to remember before you were born. It’s simply impossible! You had no awareness before you’re born, and that lack of awareness is the same for amnesia.
Those who have not experienced it can only piece together what it is like through the accounts of those who have it, which leads to this popular idea of it being a hard transition from point a to point b. (Which it can be!!) But, it’s much more complex than just a singular expression. It can, and in my case, look like your mind blocking off the bad parts of a moment and keeping the parts it’s okay with to fill in the gap of time. That’s why things seem to happen so fast for those of us with it! Because we are experiencing that time— just way faster because we forget half of the moment we experienced.
The way it’s portrayed in such a single, specific way bothers me… （´-`）.｡oO
^ (As a quick edit, my wording was poor when I first wrote this!! Amnesia is not one size fit all and how it’s experienced is different. This is based off my experiences!! Sorry for that 0_0)
“People who claim to be endogenic are misinformed about the nature of systemhood, have most likely buried their traumatic childhood memories, and are usually not just faking” AND “I don’t want endos or their supporters anywhere fucking near me,” are statements that CAN and DO coexist, btw
Please stop and read for a few minutes to help support stigmatized people with dissociative disorders
This isn't for a financial cause, a political statement, or an obligation on your part. You are fully allowed to scroll by. However, you reading and reblogging this post could help save people from falling into ableist ideology. At the very least, please read the TLDRs under each section of this post to understand the gist of the situation, and share
But first, some background, and a vocabulary lesson
What is this post about?
This post is a PSA to spread awareness on the topic of endogenic systems and the Empowered Multiples Movement. This post is strictly against their ideals and is an in-depth explanation of how people in these movements came to be that way, why their actions are harmful to people with dissociative disorders, and what you can do to prevent their ideology from spreading and harming others.
What's the vocabulary we need to know? And what is a complex dissociative disorder?
A complex dissociative disorder is a disorder caused in the developmental stages of a child's life (ages around 4-10 years old, sometimes younger) where the brain develops personality. It is exclusively caused by trauma being inflicted on the child that causes them to dissociate to help them tolerate the trauma or memories of the trauma.
It is a covert disorder, which means it hides its symptoms from its holder, making it difficult for many people to recognize that they are systems or seek help on the matter.
(For extra clarification, this definition is for complex dissociative disorders, and does not include dp/dr or those under that umbrella)
And some vocab...
System
A broad term to refer to someone who claims to have multiple personality states. Despite originally being medical terminology, this term has been stolen by endogenic people.
Singlet
A term to refer to those without dissociative disorders, whose minds present as one connected personality state without dissociative barriers. The average person is this way.
pwCDD
Stands for 'person with a complex dissociative disorder' or 'people with complex dissociative disorders'. Refers to anyone who presents as having a dissociative disorder.
Traumagenic
A term for systems who claims to have their system or personality states borne from trauma. This term has been forced upon people with CDDs in order to differentiate themselves from endogenic systems.
Endogenic
An umbrella term for someone who claims to not have their system or personality states borne from trauma, but from some other reason. Some additions in this umbrella include willogenic, tulpagenic, etc.
Final Fusion
A term to refer to when a pwCDD has their final two personality states merge with each other to create one distinct personality state without dissociative or memory barriers, after intensive therapy and cooperation to integrate these states and remove barriers. While not every system wants to have final fusion, it is generally considered a good thing to look towards and a sign of recovery.
But how do we know that endogenic systems are not real or connected to pwCDDs?
TLDR: Because all psychiatric evidence points against the correlation of endogenic systems and dissociative systems, and there is not much information or proper studies about them existing at all.
The criteria for dissociative identity disorder (DID), the most well known dissociative disorder, is as follows (according to the DSM-5):
The existence of two or more distinct identities (or “personality states”).
The distinct identities are accompanied by changes in behavior, memory and thinking.
The signs and symptoms may be observed by others or reported by the individual. Ongoing gaps in memory about everyday events, personal information and/or past traumatic events.
The symptoms cause significant distress or problems in social, occupational or other areas of functioning.
In addition, the disturbance must not be a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice. As noted in the DSM-5-TR1, in many cultures around the world, experiences of being possessed are a normal part of spiritual practice and are not dissociative disorders.
The above statement says it all. Endogenic systems could be considered disturbances created by cultural (see: endo spaces online) or religious (see: the theft of tulpamancy and creation of 'tulpagenic' by endogenic systems online) practices. They do not classify as dissociative disorders and therefore should stay out of areas intended for pwCDDs, and not use the medical terminology for those people.
Why are endogenic systems harmful?
TLDR: Because endogenic systems steal medical terminology and prevent real systems from discovering themselves and seeking help, as well as show an incorrect and romanticized view of dissociative disorders
Endogenic systems break into system spaces by taking medical terminology like 'parts', 'system', 'alters', 'personalities', 'inner world/mindscape', 'fragment', 'persecutor', the list goes on. Endogenic systems take these terms and often misinterpret them, because all of these terms can only manifest in a person if they are a pwCDD who has experienced trauma in their childhood.
Additionally, endogenic systems often spread ideology in their spaces that pertains to hiding or ignoring specific parts of this identity to pwCDDs; an example is how endogenic systems are often against people looking into therapy or recovery, or the idea of final fusion, because endogenic systems do not see dissociative disorders as a DISSOCIATIVE disorder, but as an ALTER disorder (i.e they only care for representing the symptom of having other people in their brain). An alter has no reason to exist if not to protect oneself from trauma... and if you don't have trauma that formed your system, it's impossible to form one.
Endogenic systems often romanticize this idea of being a system: they want to have 'friends in their head' who 'help them with tasks', but are unwilling to accept or acknowledge the other symptoms that often come with being a system, like strong dissociation, memory loss, anxiety, delusions, suicidal and self harm ideation, chronic nightmares, chronic headaches/migraines/stomachaches, and more.
This creates not only a misrepresentation of CDDs to pwCDDs, but also to other people online witnessing it, which makes people take the disorder less seriously. An example might be back in 2020 when lots of people on TikTok were faking DID: when people hear the word, they think of people listing their alters and not representing any of the grittier symptoms, and are less likely to listen to these traumatized people because of this recollection of endogenic systems.
All of this combined leads back to the Empowered Multiples Movement, where the idea of endogenic systems started.
Wait, what's the 'Empowered Multiplicity Movement'?
TLDR: it's a movement from the 1990s-2000s that spawned the idea of endogenic systems and advocated for the removal of DID from medical spaces and the DSM-5
Endogenic systems have had a history stretching back to the 1960s where their term was coined by Sigmund Freud (here it was not referring to this idea of systems, but it is the first known mention of the word 'endogenic' in history).
30 or 40 years after the fact, 'Empowered Multiples' began to show up online, where a few select people began to use the term 'endogenic' to refer to themselves as systems without dissociative disorders.
They also advocated for the removal of DID (or, at the time, MPD) from the DSM, said that those who identified with the term DID or CDD labels were inferior and faking, and would encourage people to write papers and articles against the idea of DID and boycott the term online. They specifically used the term 'natural' to refer to being a system.
It's important to know that this was not a movement borne from love. This movement is, palpably, born from the hatred and purposeful stigmatization of people with DID. The people who spawned the term likely never had system experiences or even fully considered themselves true systems, but did this to hurt people who did.
Why should I, a singlet, care?
Because your care (and reblog/share) can help spread this message to those who need it, and let pwCDDs know that they are safe around you/that you won't tolerate ableism.
Those who have experienced dissociative symptoms, but have never cared to seek out more information or a diagnosis because of the misinformation spread by endogenics, could find this post helpful and end up discovering more about themselves, improving their quality of life significantly. If that's you, and you've been relating to the experiences presented here, I highly recommend you look into scholarly/medical sources and look around CDD spaces for more information.
Why should I, an endogenic system, denounce that title?
Because your title is inherently born from the idea that systems are a fake disorder to make fun of, disrespect, misrepresent, and stigmatize.
If you are experiencing symptoms of a CDD, you should look into medical/scholarly sources for more information. You should not fall for the idea that your trauma was "not enough" for you to be a system. You should not fall for the idea that you didn't "have" trauma. Even if you can't remember your trauma, if you experience symptoms of a CDD, you should look into that more deeply. It may help save your life in the future, or improve your quality of life.
For those of you who are endogenic not because you experience symptoms, but because you want to be, I highly recommend you rethink that idea and look into subjects like kinning, alterhumanity, otherkin, fictionkin, etc., all of which are terms for non-disordered people who might have similar (but not the same) experiences as pwCDDs.
Thank you for reading
And a reminder to please reblog if you found this helpful or informative. Let your disordered friends know that they are loved and welcomed in your community without the stigma spread from endogenics being forced onto them.
If you have anything to add, please feel free to in reblogs or comments
Derealization is always something that confused us a lot. We were always seemingly unaware when it happened since we thought it was normal, but mostly because we only say people constantly describing it in the same way: "It's like the world is not real."
But, because we are autistic, this was not the way we needed to hear it, so we brushed it off as something we didn't do.
So, here are some signs that you are derealizing written in ways that would have helped us out better:
You know it's real and you feel connected to your body, but the world looks foggy, like you're looking through glass.
Objects look normal but do not feel "right" in some way.
Colors feel too sharp or dull.
Sounds are different in some way (i.e., too loud, muffled, disorienting, echo, etc).
Touch feels delayed, or like you are feeling things through gloves.
The world feels unfamiliar, like you're in a deja vu state instead of in a place you are in a lot.
Lights feel unfamiliar (I.e., too bright, or dull in some way).
Emotional reactions can be delayed, even when you are happy, but it is as if your reaction arrives late.
Time feels different, like it's too slow or too fast.
Also, keep in mind, some of these could be summed up to sensory problems, but derealization is not a sensory issue. Instead of feeling overwhelmed or underwhelmed by sensory things, you feel disconnected from them.
You should also keep in mind that autistic brains like to try and solve the experiences they are having, but as ironic as it is, checking your symptoms and scanning yourself mentally can keep you in a state of derealization longer, so be careful!
Derealization is a protective response from your nervous system. Going through this is not a bad thing, it does not make you a failure and you are not broken.
You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?
The emotional amnesia.
Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.
You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.
It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?
And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.
Even if some of us are still in denial, we wouldn't want it any other way.
Don't think I need to say this but ofc some of us are more vivid and distinct than others, but really, so many of us are subtle in the way we present. We also didnt draw aaalll of us at the end, too lazy to draw all of us lmao. Way too many.
I have no sense of time. The thing I did the other day was 3 weeks ago. The thing I that happened 3 weeks ago was in April but it's June. Last year was 2023. In my mind I'm 27, but the face in the mirror has aged years since then. I feel like I'm missing half of my life.
