Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me
They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
noise dept.
taylor price
hello vonnie

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Sade Olutola

Kiana Khansmith
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Not today Justin

titsay
d e v o n
todays bird
almost home
Peter Solarz
i don't do bad sauce passes

★

pixel skylines
Xuebing Du
Three Goblin Art
NASA
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@imadeit-isurvived
Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me
They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(
my body, tearfully: when sleep???
me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity
my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????
me: okay, finally now is sleep
my body: no. wrong.
Before June I have to share one of my favorite tiktoks
somewhere outside of Stirling, Scotland
That's most places
ok fuck me i guess
I WANT TO LOOK AT THINGS MADE BY HUMAN BEINGS
And also occasionally by pufferfish
AND ALSO OCCASIONALLY BY PUFFERFISH
This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8
I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct
I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.
This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.
As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.
Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:
Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.
There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.
And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”
The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.
This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.
From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.
Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something
there's art now
Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.
I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.
This is my new favourite post in the world
everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension
And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex
I haven't stopped thinking about this poem since the first time I read this post.
So I follow N. D. Stevenson (comics writer and animator, most famous for Nimona and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) and his husband Lee Ostertag (also a comics writer and animator) on Instagram. When I started following them, they were both publicly presenting as women, and then a few years ago N. D. came out as transmasc nonbinary, and then earlier this year Lee also came out as transmasc. Anyway this is all setup to say that Lee had the chance to make the funniest post of all time and he took it:
Absolutely iconic.
I want to throw in that part of the context behind this meme was N.D. talking about how he sometimes gets hatemail for marrying a man as a former lesbian, and how many people seem to think he divorced his wife.
I have not managed to find anyone who thinks that in the wild, but it is so damn funny.
I really enjoy the way the spinoff explains things. great journalism
looks at you
looks at you
@bettsplendens i'd just like you to know that this is my favorite comment on this post and i'd like it to be memorialized
so hard to find these guys
Love how their method of locomotion on land is trundling while also oozing over the terrain
I love that I can say "watch out! They can sting you" about this thingy
I really love those posts of people showing their stuffed animals various things and locations, gonna start doing that
showing my giant ground sloth the Feather River and the Feather River Fish Hatchery fish ladder
showing my cat the location of the last stagecoach hold-up in San Mateo County
showing my sockeye salmon The Gates Of Hell
showing my humpback whale Methuselah the coast redwood
showing my banana slug the grave of Emperor Norton
showing my tiger the geographic center of California
showing my elephant seal a spirit photograph
showing my javalina the 1906 earthquake fence
the tags on this post do not disappoint
In 38 years of life I have learned 1 thing;
If anyone is ever training you to replace them in a position and tells you 'its an easy job I don't do much' what this means is that you are about to spend six months to a year catching up on all the stuff they didn't do and sorting out the stuff they did poorly.
In related news I finally managed to finish un fucking my predecessor's lack of a filing system.
And if they start a sentence with "You're not supposed to do it this way but...", you're about to learn some shit to make OSHA go:
My job is literally in safety and emergency management and that phrase makes me break out in hives. Which is to say that you are entirely one million percent correct.
This is cinema actually
THE ALI FORESHADOWING LIKE SHE’S A WIZARD THEY’RE PREPARING TO FACE AND THEYRE WARNING US ABOUT HER LIKE BARDS.
ALI IMMEDIATELY LIVING UP TO THE BALLDS SUNG ABOUT HER.
THE FACT THAT ALL OF THEIR MAGIC COMBINED DIDN’T COUNTER HER SPELL
Are you americans okay???
Everclear is what we have instead of universal healthcare.
the need for blood is rising.
Official ominous sign
Feel the blood on your skin
Bro didnt even MENTION hullabaloo