Felt bored, here's my projecting health issues onto the Batfam again:
Alfred, setting down a pharmacy bag, inhaling sharply: COME GET YOUR DRUGS!
Bruce, dragging himself in:
Tim, slowly looking up from his phone with a dead eyed expression: If it isn't a monster energy drink and seventeen caffeine pills I no no want it.
Dick: It's our prescriptions, Cass.
Jason: You people are the reason I carry narcan around.
Alfred: You're all on enough prescriptions to fill a pharmacy. Now, let's begin...
Alfred, raising a pill bottle: Pain medication for Master Bruce for the back pain Bane inflicted on him from his wonderful career choices! Unfortunately we don't have the several other medications he should be taking for his mental state...
Alfred, raising another two pill bottles: Anti-inflammatory and pain medication for Master Dick for his hypermobility he refuses to see a doctor for.
Dick, taking the pills: It's not that painful, Alfie, it's just my bones being slackers :D
Alfred: Master Jason's anti psychotics for the psychosis caused by the Lazarus Pit.
Jason: My therapist is less concerned than last week!
Alfred: Wonderful news, Master Jason... Master Tim, your sleeping pills and anemia medication.
Tim, slowly standing before promptly passing out because POTS sucks:
Alfred, sighing: Somebody please see to it that Master Timothy did not receive another concussion.
Alfred: Master Dick, your ADHD medication.
Dick: I forgot I take these.
Alfred: We know, master Dick.
Bruce, inspecting Tim: Have I failed as a Father?
Alfred: No more than I have. Now, Miss Cassandra, your anxiety medication.
Alfred: You are most welcome, dear. Damian, your allergy pills since you insist on surrounding yourself with farm animals.
Damian: Tt, a runny nose and itchy eyes are a small price to pay for love, Pennyworth.
Alfred: Bipolar medication for Miss Stephanie.
Stephanie: Do you need to announce what the pills are for..?
Alfred: Master Bruce keeps all your information stored on a supercomputer anyone can look at if they guess his password, which is just Master Dick's birthday—
Jason: WHAT!? IT USED TO BE MINE!
Stephanie: Utter betrayal.
Alfred: And Master Jason's inhaler.
Jason: Wish I had this when I was inhaling all that smoke and died from an asthma attack!
Jason: B never told you? Yeah, it wasn't the bomb or crowbar that did it, it was the smoke.
Jason: My inhaler broke from the impact.
Jason: I spent my final moments suffocating.
Tim, slowly coming back to consciousness: Did I die?
Alfred: And Master Tim's testerone.
Alfred: . . . And birth control.
Tim: Yay, de-baby-nators.
Bruce, sighing: I have failed as a Father...
Jason: Wait, why doesn't Duke have to take medication?
Duke: I do, I just pick it up myself so I don't have to be put through this embarrassment.
Alfred: Yes, thank you for allowing me my weekly enjoyment of having the family in one place and admitting you're all deeply troubled.