A Constellation of Freckles

And I will raise my hand up Into the night time sky and count the stars that are shining in your eye

[stefani-germanotta]

So, uh. I edited Rey and Kylo’s throne room fight to match Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song.

[acerotiburon]

Sing me the song of your people SOUP! meow! Sing me the song of your friends SOUP! meow! Sing me a song for the good times SOUP! meow! Sing me a song, a song. HEY SOUP! meeeeoooow!

[kayforpay]

history fucked me up

oxford was built and operational as a college before the rise of the mayans and cleopatra lived in a time nearer to pizza hut’s invention than to the pyramids being built

[kayforpay]

I need a noncomprehensive history book that covers Known World History in time periods, like “in this century, all this shit was happening concurrently” and not just all spread out so I have to piece it together like some unpaid uneducated scholar

[unclebeanbag]

Mongols were fighting Samurai in Japan and Knights in Europe at the same time. 

Star Wars a New Hope came out the same year as the last execution in France by Guillotine. 

Abraham Lincoln and Edgar Allen Poe were friends in their early 20′s. 

When the Great Pyramids were being built there were areas that still had Woolly Mammoths roaming. 

[wombat-annihilator-deactivated2]

[charlesoberonn]

Harvard University didn’t teach calculus in its first few years after being established because calculus wasn’t invented yet.

[flutesncurls]

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Alexander Hamilton were only a year apart in age.

[iguanamouth]

an-eighth-of-faith submitted: My aunt’s wizard lizard. You know what to do. (P.s. I love you very much)

[patterns-in-static]

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO

[lukia26]

…you know what to do.

[silbat-deactivated20191019]

you know what to do

[ru-debega]

it keeps getting better

[peterfromtexas-deactivated20250]

Panama Canal full transit time lapse

[computervsworldarchive]

as we all know, the best vines are the ones with dogs. here’s a bunch of doggy vines!!!!!!

[ffractaa]

This made me v happy

[cooldogs]

[alienpapacy]

girls’ night!

[gentlealien]

girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

[734fungus-blog]

[lesless]

for a second I thought this was a meme & not an informative illustration of horse mood, & I thought I just couldn’t get the joke

[glamourweaver]

Make this the new meme!

[catboy-jim]

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

[sonic-gems-collection]

War, Famine, Pestilence, Death, Umami

[accras]

A woodpecker hitched a ride on the side of this man’s car during a rainy day in Chicago.

[uniquely-khaotic-deactivated201]

Cute but I woulda lost it 😂

[lazysundrops]

Lmfaooooo the way the bird closed its eyes when he said “you’re beautiful” had me weak.

[smokingpixie]

I would have felt so blessed if was chilling on my arm

[ororomunroedontpullout]

*in a thick Chicago accent* “Welcome to Chicago”

[tossingtelevisions]

Bitch WHAT THE FUCK

[theradicalace]

what the FUCK

[emiria]

???!!!!??

[rexpinn-deactivated20190705]

Yo, this guy sold his soul for this or something holy fuck

[exomoon]

i feel like i just watched something forbidden for mortal eyes

[goldnpoc]

I’m the black lady in the audience LIKE DAMN OKAY

[captainkirk94-deactivated201903]

So….do i go to church tommorrow or stay in?

[advanced-procrastination]

MAGIC TRICKS ARE SIMPLY SLEIGHT OF HAND, USING REDIRECTION TO TAKE YOUR FOCUS OFF THE THING THEYRE MANIPULATING. THAT IS NOT THIS. IT SEEMS LIKE IT AT FIRST BUT THEN HE STARTS DOING THIS SHIT IN PLAIN SIGHT, AND LETTING US ACTUALLY SEE THE SHIT TRANSFORMING AND CHANGING PLACES. THIS ISN’T SLEIGHT OF HAND.

THIS ISN’T A MAGIC TRICK. ITS JUST FUCKING MAGIC.

[quousque]

???? what??? the fuck???????

[deepfriedfuckpotato-deactivated]

“Oh, I think I see the moments there where the actual transfer is happening, but he’s really good at it,” I thought at first. 

Promptly followed by, “Wait what the fuck what the FUCK”

[spocksplum]

Mmm bruh this guy needs to be arrested by wizard police for violation of the statute of secrecy

[mindfulwrath]

honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp

[fallingtowers]

And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him

[twofingerswhiskey]

my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that

[10000badframes]

I once dreamed that a giant meteor was headed for earth, and the government had set up loudspeakers throughout the cities so Obama could give a final address - I’ll never forget how strangely comforting it was when he said “there are places we’ve never been before. Some of us have never been to the Alps, some of us have never been to Marrakesh. The next life is simply another place we’ve never been before, and we’re all going to go explore it together.” 

[not-regan]

I had a dream my family housed the Obamas for a weekend and one morning Obama made us oatmeal for breakfast and, looking at my disappointed face because I don’t like oatmeal, he said “regardless of what we taste, if we eat together, we are happy.”

[tinysaurus-rex-deactivated20240]

Once I dreamt that Michelle Obama was running a campaign to give homes to all the feral pigeons and her husband came to my house and gave me a pamphlet that just had a picture of a pigeon on it and he looked me in the eyes and said “who would you be without them?”

[meii-deactivated20220422]

sometimes i scroll through stephen king’s twitter and i’m never disappointed

[humoristics]

The thing with statistics - via

[angremlin-deactivated20250312]

Numbers don’t lie but people can sure as fuck pick and choose the numbers they give you and phrase things to make them sound like they mean things they don’t

[agentumbls]

learn fucking stats or at least how they can hurt

[skreamingninja]

[autohaste]

If depression was a musical

[capacity]

This is a bop

[squarecutorpearshape-deactivate]

okay but this person’s comedic timing is insane

[chungo-tastic]

Tom Smith ~Bubblegum Bitch~ AMV

[gayandstressed-deactivated20171]

@justice-for-rey

[minunhasmoved-deactivated201507]

APRIL FOOLS

[mintsize-deactivated20160106]

WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DRINK 

[minunhasmoved-deactivated201507]

I PFEHAHA  FTI PFFHEHEHA

[mintsize-deactivated20160106]

YOU WHAT

[elasticitymudflap]

i rubbed my sweaty fucking balls on it tom have fun drinking the underwater sweat from my sponge testicals you putrid floppy fish fuck