Jessisboring

I don't care, I love it

[angelictrauma]

im hot

H ard to love O bnoxious T errible

[studiotrigger-deactivated201605]

why is there so much spongebob on my dash are y’all 7 

[productionig-deactivated2017042]

[getoffmybloghoe-deactivated2018]

when ever I use hand sanitizer I always use two squirts so it kills 199.8% of germs instead of just 99.9%

[tobeabetterhuman-deactivated201]

Okay but soulmate au where first words appear on your wrist but person A has nothing and is thinking they don’t have soulmate and person B has words but is mute and is panicking because they won’t be able to (vocally) say anything and they’re worried their soulmate won’t believe them

[theapplepielifestyle]

more otp hot mess aus:

‘you’re lying on the floor of the movie theater crying and i’m the employee who has to tell you another movie starts in five minutes so you have to leave and i’m really sorry but im also confused as to why a documentary on lightbugs affected you so much’ au

‘i found you sleeping on my balcony when i went out to water my plants why are you here and more importantly how did you get here we’re eighteen floors up’ au

‘i’m having a minor breakdown in the middle of bed bath and beyond and you’re a bewildered shopper who wants to buy plates but also to make sure i’m okay bc im wailing a little bit in the kitchenware section’ au

'i asked a staff member and they said you’ve been coming to the pound every day to play with the dog i’m taking home today and that’s why you’re getting weirdly emotional’ au

'why are you dancing in your underwear to kelly clarkson in a public bathroom while brushing your teeth’ au

[kingpinnn]

This guy is practicing smoke bending …LOL

[the-realest-sato-deactivated201]

Yo, this guy is a fucking airbender.

don’t try to say he is otherwise, just look at him go.

[ida-backwards-intherain]

He should do this onstage for money.

[darkseid-deactivated20190806]

I wanna make fun of this person for vaping enough to develop this talent but this is like. beautiful

[jddww-deactivated20150211]

[metaltits]

me

[yoonswife]

his face im dyinh

[andrewbelami]

Straight people out here shooting up their own fucking babies

[galren]

#We did it honey#the evil is defeated (via @beasthenshin)

[mchanzo-is-mccanon-deactivated2]

this is the most white heterosexual nonsense ive ever seen

[elfstaranymore]

also re: teens sitting around with their tablets and smartphones

like, if a kid can access the internet (with some privacy still) while also sitting in the same room as their parents, honestly that’s better and more social than what I did as a teenager, which was hole up in my room at my desktop computer that I couldn’t move anywhere else in the house

mostly what I see from the teens in my family is they will sit and scroll through their phone, but if something interesting starts happening, or a new person enters the room, or they see something cool they want to share, they look up and interact again, because they’re sitting right there with everyone else.

that is waaaay more social than 2002 me, hunched over my desktop for hours and only seeing my mom in passing when I went to microwave a burrito at 1am. way, way more social.

[feministess]

My whole family does this now. We’re all in the same room, but each on a phone, tablet, or laptop. Certain poop heads will shake their heads at how technology is dividing us.

But

Like

What do they think families have done for since ever? Talk constantly while playing educational board games every evening? No.

They’d each be reading, or sewing, or writing letters or some shit, and mostly sat quietly near each other but not bothering each other.

[elfstaranymore]

yes this

It reminds me of the whole “omg people on trains used to TALK to each other” argument. No, they didn’t. They read the newspaper or stared straight ahead avoiding eye contact.

[chickycherrycola]

Okay but seriously it fucking ticks me off when older people go “oh look at this young person with their nose in their phone again” or “back in my day we actually talked to each other” or just making a snide comment about me being on my phone in general.

What if I’m fucking reading the news? Reading about airstrikes in Syria or googling election results in my county? Looking up recipes so I can cook myself a nice wholesome meal when I get home? Browsing for a mother’s day gift?

Shit son I’m probably being more cultured/educated/thoughtful at the current moment with my “nose in my phone” than you are walking around judging people for things you don’t even have the first clue about. Sorry that the smartphone is my generation’s main connection to the rest of the world and the wealth of knowledge that exists.

that’s the wrong side. vulcan hearts are on the…

[kirknspock]

??? idk about u all but my sources say it’s either the right side (where the human liver is) or center of the torso?

[percychekov-deactivated20180908]

@kirknspock jk, you were right!!

[the-future-now-deactivated20170]

Netflix’s new site is a giant “f*ck you” to Comcast and Time Warner

Netflix launched a site late Wednesday night called Fast.com, where — in one click — anyone browsing the internet can see how fast their internet speed is. Although it’s great for consumers, some internet providers might not be happy about the new website.

Follow @the-future-now​

[wilwheaton]

Fuck Comcast

[paradoxanomalyenigma]

Netflix didn’t invent that it’s been around

[vaspider]

Netflix didn’t invent speed checks, but this site is Netflix’s.

[queerlyexhausted]

Okay, so here’s why Netflix speedtest is so brilliant. 

Most of us know about Speedtest.net, right? Well Comcast and Time Warner know about it too. They know customers use it to check to see if they’re getting what they are paying for. Comcast techs even tell customers to check their speed with Speedtest.net. 

So, to make sure people think they are getting good speeds, Comcast and Time Warner prioritize traffic going to Speedtest.net. When you check your speed there it’s artificially inflated. That is NOT the speed you are getting when you browse tumblr and that is definitely not the speed you get when you watch Netflix. 

Comcast and Time Warner can not artificially inflate the results by prioritizing traffic to Fast.net unless they also prioritize traffic to Netflix, and they definitely do not want to do that. 

[revretch]

That is so fucking slimy. Good for Netflix

[pettyrevenge]

I arrive at the gate to work a flight. The crew finds out that the plane has been downgraded to a smaller aircraft. This new aircraft has only one cabin of service and holds about 20 less people. There is a very wealthy woman (identified by her designer luggage, jewelry, and entitlement) screaming at the gate agent that she wants a first class seat. The gate agent explains that this aircraft does not have a first class cabin, but she is in row three and that is close to the front.

She continues to scream at the gate agent and makes unreasonable demands. When boarding begins I find her. She sits down in row 1 and refuses to move when I ask to see her boarding pass and redirect her to row 3. I ask her again to move and she says to the window, “I am through speaking to the help.”

Fine.

I move the nice couple originally sitting in row 1 to row 3. I move a mom with her screaming crying infant into row 1 next to the lady who doesn’t speak to the help. The entire flight the baby cried, and the entire flight the woman looked around for a new seat but we were full. Ha.

Enjoy your first class seat lady.

[nstoner]

[block]

[idiopathicsmile]

“So you see,” said the Royal Advisor, wringing his hands, “the curse states the princess will die on the night before her twenty-fifth birthday–”

“Hang on,” said the princess, “‘ON the night before’–”

The Advisor nodded grimly.

“So what you’re saying is that, until that one specific date, I am effectively immortal?”

“Technically yes, but then–” the King stammered.

“Wow,” said the princess, who was sixteen and did not possess amazing impulse control. “I’m gonna go teach myself how to juggle chainsaws while hang gliding over shark-infested waters, catch you chuckleheads later.”

[general-katy]

Ohshit, this needs to be a lot longer

[babil6]

[citrusflan]

designing an original character. still thinking up a name for her!