Albus: This is the worst thing you've ever done!
Gellert: You know, you say it so much it's lost all its meaning.
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Product Placement
Peter Solarz
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@incorrect-grindeldore
Albus: This is the worst thing you've ever done!
Gellert: You know, you say it so much it's lost all its meaning.
Gellert: I can tell you plan on making me into a criminal no matter what I say.
Albus: You ARE a criminal!
Gellert, climbing through Albus’ window: Sorry I’m late, Liebling *undressing* I had to help my aunt with stuff *climbs into Albus’ bed* I’m here now though. I’m really keen to try that thing you mentioned earlier.
Aberforth: *wakes up; screams*
Gellert: *falls out of bed; screaming*
Aberforth, sits up, half asleep: You? What the fuck are you doing here?
Gellert, smiling innocently: I’m sorry, I thought you were Albus!
Aberforth, horrified: That doesn’t make me feel better!
Albus, bursts in, brandishing his wand: What’s going- *looks between them; sheepish* Oh. Yes, well, err, Abe, you remember Gellert Grindelwald...from next door?
Gellert, clutching a sheet to his body, waves: Hey!
Aberforth: …
Aberforth, sighs: I fucking knew it
Gellert, mutters: I thought this was your room
Albus, embarrassed, clears his throat: No. It’s the...next one.
Gellert, nodding: Yeah. Okay *gathering his clothes* I’ll remember that for next time *shuffling to the door* Not that they’ll be a next time *waving* Nice to see you again, Aberforth *leaves*
Aberforth: *glaring at Albus*
Albus, nonchalant: We’re conducting an experiment.
Aberforth: Get out.
Gellert: I guarantee you, someday soon, I will be Albus’ second husband.
Albus: What happened to my first husband?
Gellert: Nothing you can prove.
Albus, flustered: Aurelius, what you just saw-
Aurelius, grinning: You and Mr. Grindelwald were kissing...
Gellert: Do you want me to silence him?
Albus: You are not cursing my nephew.
Gellert: Fine. Don’t come crying to me when the little brat exposes our plans.
Albus, crouches down to Aurelius: You’re not going to tell your father about this, are you?
Aurelius, shrugs: No offence, Uncle Albus, but I don’t think father will care very much.
Albus, frantic: No. No, he will care. He never passes up an opportunity to judge me. If he finds out about this, I’ll never live it down.
Gellert, offended: Okay, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Albus to Gellert: Just wanted to let you know that I always win at ‘whose ex is crazier’ because of you.
Gellert: Is everything alright, Professor?
Albus: Fuck you calling me ‘Professor’ like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it.
Gellert: *smirks*
Albus: We go back.
Gellert: Excuse me. We more than go back. We were partners.
Travers: In what way?
Gellert: In every way. And then some.
Albus, about Gellert: I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time.
Newt: Look, sir, you're obviously upset about Grindelwald. So me and Theseus came to help you out.
Albus: I'm not upset.
Theseus: We found you in the park throwing rocks at old couples.
Albus, sobbing: WHY SHOULD THEY BE HAPPY?
Albus: My thoughts are clear and straight.
Gellert: That’s the only thing straight about you, too.
Aurelius: Uncle Albus?
Albus: Yeah?
Aurelius: Why don’t you have a wife?
Albus: Because I’m gay. I like boys.
Aurelius: Oh. *pauses* Why don’t you have a husband?
Albus: ...
Albus: It’s complicated.
Aberforth: He’s in prison for trying to take over the world.
Albus: Like I said, it’s complicated.
Gellert, thinking: Albus…I wonder what he’s doing now? Is he thinking about me? Does he wear the blood troth? I bet he looks good. I want to kiss him. He’s so strong and powerful and clever.
Queenie: *walks in*
Gellert, thinking: OH BOY I CAN’T WAIT FOR CREDENCE TO KILL DUMBLEDORE I JUST HATE HIM SO MUCH SUCH A THORN IN MY SIDE HE’S THE WORST
Albus: All people who try to save the world are idiots. That’s why I’m saving this world myself.
Gellert: ...because you’re an idiot?
Gellert: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse. That’s what I always say.
Albus: You should say something else.
Aberforth: Are you two, like, dating now?
Gellert: Yeah!
Albus: Yes, we are.
Aberforth: Why?!
Gellert: I happen to find your brother very appealing.
Aberforth: Oh, I understand that. I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong in his head.
Gellert: Well, I’m a man with very high standards.
Albus: *exists*
Gellert: Oh no, you’re meeting all my standards!