why not

i do incorrect quotes for whatever im interest in at the time! so far its just a lot of musicals 

[incorrect-quoter]

Noel: I don’t drive. I got my license revoked after I hit that pedestrian.

Ocean: I wish you wouldn’t refer to me as “that pedestrian” when you tell that story.

[incorrect-quoter]

Ocean: Give me something that’s illegal

Constance: …killing someon-

Mischa: HEROIN

[incorrect-quoter]

Mischa: I feel like you get me, Noel. And you know why?

Noel: …?

Mischa: Because we’re both extremely handsome.

[incorrect-quoter]

Noel and Ocean: *run to one another and effortlessly do a long and complicated handshake*

Noel: You’re so annoying. I hate you so much.

Ocean: I’ve never met someone weaker or uglier than you.

[incorrect-quoter]

Tom: If being hot were a crime, I'd be serving a life sentence.

Lex: A life sentence? For a crime you didn't even commit?

[incorrect-quoter]

Lex: What do you say when you answer the phone?

Ethan: What up.

Hannah: Who this be?

Tim: No, she’s dead. This is her son.

[incorrect-quoter]

Emma: What’s it like being tall?

Emma: Is it nice?

Emma: Can you reach comfortably reach the cupboards?

Paul: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

[incorrect-quoter]

Winnie Foster: You’re the only person I know who can turn lemonade into lemons.

Mother: Sugar is bad for you.

[incorrect-quoter]

“I’m tired of people telling me to ‘go to the hospital’ and that I’ve ‘lost a lot of blood.’ It’s my stab wound, not yours. Stay out of it.”

-Emma Perkins (probably)

[incorrect-quoter]

Paul: Did you just kill someone in my living room?

Hidgens: Well it's not exactly a living room now.

[incorrect-quoter]

Bill: I'm not mad, I just want to know why you two would need a fake ID.

Deb: *incoherent mumbling*

Bill: Pardon?

Alice: ... you need to be over 18 at PetCo to hold the puppies

[incorrect-quoter]

Frozen yogurt employee: *gives Alice her frozen yogurt*

Paul: Now what do we say?

Little Alice, staring dead into the employees eyes: I love you

[melissas-revenge]

Melissa’s Revenge: Plot Outline

When Melissa was younger, all she wanted to do was play softball. It was the one thing that took her away from her controlling parents. She had decided from a very young age that she wanted to play softball professionally, but her parents disapproved. She moved out of the house when she was 16, to pursue her dream. However, once her parents discovered she was still trying to play softball professionally, they threatened to disown her and her brother unless she studied accounting. By age 21, she was working underneath the leadership of Mr. Davidson and asked permission to start a company softball league. It took a long time to get it approved, and a couple of years to develop the theme items: Apocalypse themed. The main project was a meteor for the corner of the court. Unfortunately, when she announced it, nobody signed up. In fact, the responses she got were quite rude. So from that day forward, since no one could ever just let her be happy, she vowed revenge. The main question was… how?

Side Note:

This plotline does intertwine with Copper’s plotline, which is the next post. 

[bunsbubs]

This is hella good man! Such good backstory 👌

[oh-theatre]

Paul: Emma kissed me!

Ted, gasping: NO!

Bill, squealing: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god

Ted: Ok we wanna hear everything!! Bill get tissues, I’ll get the wine. Does this end well or do we need more tissues?

Paul: Oh it ended very well

Bill, running in with tissues: Do not start without me!!

Ted: Alright let’s hear it, was it like intense or a soft brush as you stared-

Paul: It was perfect, we just kind of melted into it.

Ted and Bill, squealing: Aww!

-

[eating pizza casually]

Emma: And then I kissed him

Charlotte: Toungue?

Emma: Yeah

Charlotte: Cool.

[incorrect-quoter]

Nora: I expect to be treated with respect and dignity-

Emma heelying into the shop with starbucks: ey what's up Nora anyways FUCK YOU-

[incorrect-quoter]

Mother: I will strangle you if you hurt Daughter

McDoon: You're not tall enough

Mother: You've sunk low enough for me to reach

[incorrect-quoter]

Emma: *sticking plastic fork in outlet* why can't I die

Paul: Try a metal one

Emma: Oh look at me I’m a millionaire that can afford metal cutlery