Recovering A Sense Of Strength

You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours.

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Wide awake and dreaming. #film #day1 #dissertation #director #producer #writer #alexandrapalace #skyline #view #london #nofilterneeded #nofilter (at Alexandra Palace Ice Rink)

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A year ago today I fulfilled a massive childhood dream of mine and finally got to visit Tokyo, Japan with @ghost_of_utopia . 💖💖💖 One of the best trips of my life. I also got to meet some awesome humans on that trip too @xyuga @kouki_hatano @cotobuki_shop @xmiriyum @diana__9 💖💖💖 I must definitely will be visiting this place again at some point this year as I miss it so much and will definitely stay longer and visit more cities in Japan. #japan #tokyo #wanderlust #holiday #dream #travel #aeroflot

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"You haven't been to Brixton when it's shutdown ey?! TRUST MI DADDY. " Last night was extra special. Two brothers sold out Brixton Academy and put on a iconic show. These are my brothers goals too. I wish they could've been there to experience it. There were two highlights to my night: 1) when they put a picture of David Cameron on the big screen and they were like look at this wasteman and the whole room was just booing at the screen and people around me was just cussin' David Cameron. 😂 2) was finally meeting and talking to @skeptagram at the afterparty. 🙌🏿 Lovely Human. That party was an experience. 😂 so many cool people. I had a lot of fun yesterday/today. The mission was worth it. 😂 #skepta #jme #brixtonacademy #brothers #soldoutshow #shutdown #lit (at O2 Academy Brixton)

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It's a Caribbean ting... #regressionsession #rave #lightbox #xxxmas #sisterwife (at Lightbox)

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As the end of another holiday draws near, I’d like to take a moment to list all the things I’m thankful for. I’m thankful that no matter how dark things might get, old friendships can still be rekindled. I’m thankful for new relationships that help us realize how far we’ve come from who we are. And how close we get when we can really be ourselves. I’m thankful that no matter what they say, you can go home again. Whether it’s your home or not.

Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 11: The Magnificent Archibalds

[gentlechamomile]

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"So calm, couldn't be calmer Feeling good, could it be karma? You don't rate me? That's objective If you could see from my perspective Man ain't got time for that!" #jme #boybetterknow #bbk #calm #grime #livemusic #streetmusic #undergroundmusic #ukhiphop #lyrics #xoyo (at XOYO)

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When @jmeBBK serenades you! 😂😂😂 Xoyo was lit af. Someone get me into the Brixton Academy show please?! 🙏🏿 #xoyo #grime #jme #uk #streetmusic (at XOYO)

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Who is in control?

It seems for the past few weeks, day by day, my demons are getting stronger and I'm getting weaker. I try so hard to stay positive and move on from the pain and heartache but then overthinking rears its ugly head and makes moving past certain things more than difficult. I rely on quick fixes more and more each day, sometimes I resist but it's getting a little harder to resist as of recently. I try to find at least 1 reason and scrape for more to why I must keep going but then that gets overshadowed by the 10 reasons telling me I'm just wasting my time. They say moments and feelings like this will pass but it still seems to linger on. Everything is so up and down and all over the place. One minute I feel like I can take on the world and I feel fine about myself and also believe in myself and it doesn't take long for that amazing feeling to be snatched away from me, either from someone else or from myself just by overthinking. I want to experience how it feels to have your mind at peace. I wish I was that person that could let go of something easily, move on quickly, pick myself up in an instant every time I feel down. I see how quickly everyone around me can do it but I don't understand why I can't. I wish I could have someone help me fight but I know this is something I must do on my own otherwise I will never get better. As each day passes I feel more and more emotionally and physically weak. I'm lost and don't know what to do to get past this?

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👰🏼👰🏿 #weddingdress #weddings #onedayihope (at Debenhams Oxford Street)

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Halloween 2015 curtesy of @noonan_holly . When your friends are talented. 🙌🏿💖💖💖 Thank you sooo much. En route to @regressionsessions now. #halloween #regressionsession #london (at West Ealing)

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@younggunsuk - Brighton Concorde 2 "You never seemed more beautiful, Than any time I looked before, One second more I fear I may go blind. I know that I should carry on, But I cannot forget that warmth, Staring at the sun heeds warning from mankind." This song sounds magical live. Lyrics got me like 😢😍😢😍 @johnisjokes Young Guns - Gravity (Ones and Zeros album) #youngguns #brighton #concorde2 #onesandzeros #gravity #lyrics #music #harmonies #lyricalgenius (at Concorde 2 Brighton)

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When he wishes you a Happy Birthday..... 😍😍😍 I'm over the moon. So lovely to finally meet you @abelxo after so long. BEST BIRTHDAY EVER! #theweeknd #abeltesfaye #libraseason #birthdaygirl #beautybehindthemadness #hmvoxfordstreet (at Hmv 363 Oxford Street)

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The fact that I'm finally going to meet @abelxo on my muthafucking birthday is going to put a permanent smile on my face. I cannot wait for Sunday. 💖💖💖 #theweeknd #abeltesfaye #signing #hmv #birthday #libraseason

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Breaking my silence

As a sufferer of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) most days can be a battle for me to get through. From the uncontrollable mood swings to not eating or sleeping properly, amongst whole bunch of other things. I'm still trying to learn how to love and believe in myself more. I have been through a lot in my life time and I only have my family and friends to thank for helping me through those tough times. One thing I have learnt and still trying to get into the habit of doing is talking to them about my problems, something which I struggled a lot with in the past and still do sometimes to this day, but it's not as bad as before. Talking to someone about what's bothering you is a massive relief and it's like a massive weight lifted off your shoulders and everything seems more clearer and you suddenly no longer feel alone and you feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel and what was bothering you will pass. Writing this is very scary because it's something I've been terrified to speak up on but mental illness shouldn't be a taboo subject to speak up on. Even though this is brief at least it's some sort of a start. Speaking up on a subject like this I hope will help someone who is suffering in silence to have the courage to speak up themselves and get the help they need and deserve because it breaks my heart that there are beautiful souls out there feeling that they are all alone with no one to talk to. Just remember you are not alone, someone out there cares for you. ❤️❤️❤️ To learn more about BPD read this: http://www.mind.org.uk/media/2198702/understanding-bpd-2015-online-version.pdf

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Live for my hood, look this for my block Ride for the hood, gotta spit it like Pac I ain't got shit but I still feel good If you're on that bullshit better fly that shit right by me, I came from the bottom of this bitch and made it out of that shit, And that's why we on top of this motherfucking world. (Seems like chasing paper's what's important to you) Got a relationship with that money (But that bitch will never be faithful to you) Even though I know she knows she crazy (Please just let it go, seize, no saving you) (These numbers don't lie, but your love is superficial It's the simple shit you need to pay attention to) It's beautiful outside Looks like it's raining money, mayne I said I want that, need that The root of all evil mayne, (get it, get it) #compton #drdre #fortheloveofmoney #straightouttacompton #jillscott #jonconnor #anderson.paak #onrepeat

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He says, "Oh, baby girl, you know we're gonna be legends I'm the king and you're the queen and we will stumble through heaven If there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes I know you wanna go to heaven but you're human tonight" He says "Oh, baby girl, don't get caught on my edges I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs And if you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight And I've been sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool For a while now, drowning my thoughts out, the sounds But do you feel like a young God? You know the two of us are just young gods And we'll be flying through the streets with the people underneath And they're running, running, running But do you feel like a young God? You know the two of us are just young gods And we'll be flying through the streets with the people underneath And they're running, running, running again #halsey #badlands #younggod #artist #singer #writer #lyricist #nowplaying #onrepeat #writinggoals #screenwriting #thissongisgonnamakemelateforwork