For @cherrycodeddynamite.
The clones find their reincarnated wife from TTOD. it doesn't go as planned:
"Leehai flipped backwards to avoid the fan-wielding demon trying to wrap his arms around her.
"Damn, baby! This life made you flexible!"
Karaku grinned and stuck out his tongue.
Leehai answered with a look that could have curdled milk.
"Thunder Breathing, First Form—"
The blade bit through his arm.
Then quickly began regenerating.
Just her luck she ran to an Upper Moon.
Thankfully she wasn't alone.
Unfortunately, her comrades were currently being launched through trees when Karaku swung his fan in their direction.
"HURRY UP AND COVER HER, AIZETSU!"
The red-eyed demon sounded absolutely scandalized.
Leehai groaned as she sprinted through the forest.
Aizetsu followed behind her in a surprisingly polite manner.
"Please stop running," he said sadly. "You're making me upset. Can't you see I'm trying to protect your dignity?"
Before she could respond, Aizetsu pointed accusingly at her skirt.
"It barely reaches your knees."
"That's the standard uniform!"
Leehai roundhouse kicked him in the face.
The impact sent him skidding backwards.
Unfortunately, the motion also flipped her skirt upward revealing her frilly pink panties underneath.
Urogi, circling overhead, froze.
"SEKIDO WAS RIGHT!" Aizetsu cried in horror.
"I KNEW IT!" the red-eyed demon roared from somewhere behind the trees. "THE CORPS HAS NO SHAME!"
She had spent the last twenty minutes trying to kill these demons.
They had spent the last twenty minutes trying to kidnap her.
Not once had they seriously used their Blood Demon Arts.
Karaku had attempted to knock her over with a fan at most.
Aizetsu had repeatedly tried to drape his hakama-shita over her shoulders.
Sekido kept screaming about modesty.
She wasn't even sure where they'd gotten this ridiculous idea.
Apparently she was their wife.
Some woman from years ago who had died and been reincarnated.
According to them, the gods had finally returned her.
Leehai personally thought they had all suffered severe brain damage.
Karaku was suddenly right in front of her.
"Oh, good. You remembered my name."
Leehai regretted speaking.
"GUYS! SHE REMEMBERS HER NAME!"
"THAT'S NOT HOW MEMORY WORKS, YOU IDIOT!" Sekido screamed.
Leehai ducked beneath Karaku's fan.
The Upper Moon spun around her effortlessly, grinning the entire time.
Leehai tried to stab him.
"Still got good taste in clothes too."
"This is not a uniform anyone should wear!" Aizetsu cried.
"I know, right?" Karaku laughed.
Aizetsu looked genuinely distressed.
Leehai wasn't sure which comment offended her more.
"Forget the cold!" Sekido roared.
The red-eyed demon finally lost what little patience he possessed.
He launched himself at her.
Not with his Blood Demon Art.
He simply attempted to grab her.
Was this really happening?
She zig-zagged between trees.
Sekido bulldozed through them.
"I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR REPUTATION!"
"YOU'RE TRYING TO KIDNAP ME!"
Leehai leapt onto a low branch.
Urogi swooped overhead screaming encouragement.
Everything happened at once.
Sekido reached out to catch her.
Karaku reached out to catch Sekido.
Leehai dropped straight downward.
And landed squarely on Sekido's face.
She quickly sprang back to her feet.
Sekido remained flat on his back.
A single leaf drifted down and landed on his forehead.
"Did she kill him?" Urogi asked.
Karaku crouched beside Sekido.
"His spirit has left his body."
"Then why isn't he moving?"
Karaku looked up at Leehai.
Then back down at Sekido.
A slow grin spread across his face.
Leehai jumped further away, red faced, dodging Urogi who tried to grab her full of praises if she wanted to try it on him.
“Damn this! You can’t say we didn’t warn you, woman!”
His hands reached out and absorbed the clones.
Leehai's stomach dropped.
The forest seemed to darken as the familiar figures disappeared.
In their place stood a younger demon with crimson golden eyes and a ring of drums.
Another clone. With a very menacing aura.
Unlike the others, he wasn't smiling.
Wasn't trying to throw a haori over her shoulders.
Leehai tightened her grip on her sword from behind the tree she was watching him from.
Time for the emergency strategy.
She discreetly took off her panties.
Zohakuten walked forward.
The dragons behind him stirred.
Leehai swallowed hard as she came out, sword ready.
His voice echoed through the forest.
"You will return with us."
"Insolent. But you can learn again."
The dragons lunged ready to grab her.
And delivered a flying kick.
Unfortunately, the kick wasn't what caught Zohakuten's attention.
Her skirt flipped upward.
For one brief, horrifying moment—
He had a full unobstructed view.
There was nothing to cover her.
A bird flying overhead seemed to stop.
Zohakuten's eyes widened.
His face went completely blank.
The dragon's mouth's fell open.
A thin trail of red appeared beneath his nose.
Then he collapsed face-first into the dirt.
The remaining Demon Slayers stared.
"...Did I win?" she asked.
Inside the Infinity Castle.
Muzan rubbed his temples.
Like a man who had aged fifty years in ten minutes.
Finally Muzan broke the silence.
"Upper Moon Four has been defeated. Well he is still alive. The slayers couldn’t find the main body so they left."
"He suffered a nosebleed."
"And then lost consciousness."
A longer silence followed.
Muzan looked toward the ceiling.
Questioning every life choice that had led him here.
And somehow his strongest Upper Moons continued finding new and innovative ways to embarrass him.
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