[00000000000000z-deactivated2022]

Fuck your dream job what’s your dream hobby that you don’t have the means to take up yet. Mine are falconry and aerial acrobatics

[deanwinchesterapologist]

a scientist will see a mouse and say put that beast in a situation

[jokeboy-deactivated20260221]

sorry I've been posting like shit lately I got picked up by a large bird and have only been able to get on tumblr when we fly near a cell tower. oh great it's heading back towards the mountai

[snakeeatery]

i love the pedestrian-to-car staredown when you see them go from a rolling stop to a full stop. like that's what the fuck i thought. vehicularly manslaughter me about it

[diedinstantly]

[sunsafety]

me when i see me: thats not me

[unbotheredmuse]

[funnier-as-a-system]

[ID: part of a screenshot of a TikTok with text that reads: using my memory loss privileges to rewatch my favorite shows every two years ./ End ID]

[sasukesun]

he’s a fictional character to you, i know him personally

[strangestcase]

being non-binary is sooooo exhausting... everyone wants a piece of you, you’re hot, you’re funny, you’re cooler than ice cold, you dress impeccably... smash that reblog button if you too think non-binary people deserve to be given 1000000 dollars in cash.

[evilnicegirl]

what they dont tell you about those little hand baskets in the grocery store is if you put enough things in them they get heavy

[shitgw2playerssay]

[imaveryevilgirl]

The feminine urge to CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES GRIND THEIR BONES INTO DIRT MAKE THEM REGRET THEY WERE EVER BORN

[pocket-deer-belly]

The masculine urge to ✨hug your friends! ✨ 💖 Play games and dressup with them! 💖 🥰And make them feel like valued parts of your life! 🥰

[doubleca5t]

[lady-raziel]

vintage 2020 right here

[clown-strife-deactivated2021041]

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

[czesca]

“this character is not lgbtq in canon” to YOU. i know them personally

[theycallme-ook]

I think the Riddler should do a Riddle Me Piss type segment.

[theycallme-ook]

Like, he should have a podcast, and the whole podcast should be like Riddle Me Piss where he goes and finds awful riddles and tries to get through them. He always has a guest. Usually another Rogue, a Bat, or a civilian he nabbed off the street.

[theycallme-ook]

One time he had the Flash on there and they barely made it through half the normal amount of riddles bc Barry could not. Stop. Laughing. It was super sweet tho and Barry quickly became a fan favorite. There are SO many animatics/typography vids of the ep bc it was so delightfully memeable

[theycallme-ook]

He manages to get Batman to come on once after years and years of asking. The episode is on the shorter side and Bats' voice is modulated, but the whole internet still loses its collective mind bc it's one of the only public piece of Batman media in existence and it consists of 40 minutes of The Batman and Edward trying and failing to solve nonsense riddles.

[theycallme-ook]

For years, Ed had been saying "I'll get Batman on someday" as a joke, and in response some guests had taken to saying "I'm not Batman" before their introductions as clarification, as well as using it as an excuse when they couldn't solve a riddle. The bit becomes even more popular after the Batman episode, for obvious reasons

[theycallme-ook]

-the spelling/sentence structure of one riddle was so bad Barry thought he was drunk. He's a speedster. He hasn't been drunk in decades.

-one answer was so bad that Edward up and left the room

-the batkids are forbidden to go on as their herosonas, so they keep finding excuses to go on as civilians. (See "accidentally" being at the right time and place to get nabbed by Ed)

-Harley loves being on. Ivy hates being on. Ivy will only go on if Harley will be there too.

-joker is not allowed on under any circumstances bc f that guy

-captain marvel was on once, not that Ed knew that. All Ed knew was that he nabbed a kid who was probably not as afraid of Ed as he should be, but did keep up an impressively sarcastic running commentary.

-the podcast has become something all Gothamites are strangely proud of. I mean like, yeah he's a villain and all but c'mon- at least he's funny. Cops don't contribute to society this much

-Batman had to listen to a full episode once bc the Riddler hid the clues to his latest crime in the ep.

-he hated it at first, but after that one time Bruce becomes a regular listener. He enjoys it for the same reason Ed does, actually: the ability to unwind and listen to stupid yet engaging fluff. He even sends in a few anonymously.

-all bats have written at least 1 riddle for the snow. They all essentially amount to word vomit. Harper's was the best/worst depending on how you look at it

[theycallme-ook]

[theycallme-ook]

-SCRATCH what I said earlier. The reason people got in the habit of assuring audiences that they are, in fact, not Batman was because Ed's signature line on the show was "RIDDLE ME PISS, BATMAN"

-whenever the Riddler has a bat tied up for whatever reason he'll do a "live" show consisting of him, his batty prisoner and whoever else is in the room. They make for very chaotic episodes.

-he donates all show proceeds to local libraries and schools bc crime may pay but public service sure don't. Plus, this money is clean.

-Ed will get sponsors from like,, the weirdest places. The zoo and a millenary were some notable ones. LexCorp tried once and were ghosted. Audible has never tried but Ed wouldn't sponsor Bezos anyway so hah.

-there's a Tear Tally on the show, it's a tally of all the times a riddle has made Ed cry.

-one time a riddle was so convoluted that Ed & Guest made a conspiracy cork board (w red thread and everything) just to keep track. It's an audio medium tho so they kept trying to describe the board verbally. It wasn't very good so Ed just posted a pic of the board to his socials.

-scarecrow was on for an ep. Ed prepared exclusively corn/farm themed riddles. Johnathan was torn between being amused or annoyed.

-meanwhile, Selina is very happy to solve cat themed riddles when she's on.

[funnytwittertweets]

[thefeminineurge]

[randomfae]

“come back with a warrant”

i felt that. i shall start using that answer. it’s perfect.

[jkdhdsjfhnjkdsfsdfgdsgsd-deacti]

man fuck explaining my disorder in detail to other people like if you tell people you have an identity disorder they shouldnt question any sudden changes in behavior/personality/whatever. idk why DID systems get constantly pushed into this box of like "give out information about all your alters else people will doubt whether youre a real system and think youre faking" like WTF. you dont have to explain SHIT to ANYONE you dont need to name every alter you have you dont have to explain or justify nothing just exist in your own way and be you and if anyone questions why youre different you can say you have DID and end it at that

[i-need-to-remake-my-blog]

and the irony of it all being that did/osdd are disorders designed to be self-concealing (hiding the disorder and, for many systems, remaining covert even after gaining safety) and to hide the very existence of trauma.

you should never expect someone with did/osdd to be open about their disorder and the other alters in their system. not just because these disorders are meant to be concealed, but also because you are not entitled to sensitive and personal information about someone's mental disorder! you are not entitled to know about every single alter in a system! people with did/osdd owe you nothing! this isn't a viral 'meet the alters' youtube video, and we aren't your fucking freak show attraction.

if someone *is* open about their system, that's lovely! be respectful and kind. but don't expect everyone to be like that.