The spell Conjure Fey is for sixth-level casters; for first through fifth, there’s Spell: Conjure Shitty Fey, which is limited to summoning a waddling little oaf that hangs around for the next ten minutes and is under no compulsion to obey you or anyone else. Roll d10:
Rat Fairy: behaves exactly like an aggressive rat
Butter Fairy: constantly exuding butter from its body (treat anything it touches as if affected by the spell Grease); compulsively drawn to food, which it will attempt to butter
Fear Fairy: makes terrifying bird noises and attempts to bite people with its oversized beak
Gloo Fairy: waddles around like a sleepy toddler, drooling Sovereign Glue on anything it gets near
Licki Fairy: the Fairy Flavor Collector, which (it believes) has the important job of adding to the Seelie Courts’ archive of the flavors of every substance and material in the world
Wiggly Fairy: just stands there wiggling; any creature that touches it is compelled to join in its wiggling for the duration of the fairy’s summon
Man Fairy: believes itself to be a normal human man, and will attempt to do whatever it believes a normal human man would do in whatever situation it has been summoned to
Gas Fairy: belches horrible-smelling poison gas
Ab Fairy: a magical personal trainer with the power to grant a willing being nice, firm abs
(Credit if you don’t know: Pokemon Fusion Generator)
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