ha

i am desire for soft cats and memes pls do not hurt me

[magnezone-deactivated20170108]

*streetpasses the same person twice* what are we

[accidentallyadoptedazoo]

Not Everything That Crinkles Is a Snack For You - A novel by me, about my pets

[nyxandshion]

Sometimes I Open the Fridge For Me - the thrilling sequel

[i-will-go-down-with-these-feels]

Just Because I Walk With A Plate It Doesn’t Mean It’s For You - the shocking conclusion to the trilogy

[tordenvejr]

lay out intentions like paving of ease in future moments. “i’m gonna have fun in class tomorrow”, “when i go for a walk i’m gonna see so many beautiful things”, “i’m gonna have the most cozy night tonight”, “i’m gonna be very present with my friend on wednesday”, etc. see how easily the moment adapts. it’s like a little spell to set yourself up for goodness

[i-am-a-fish]

it’s dark

[candleroots]

lemme help you with that @i-am-a-fish !

[i-am-a-fish]

[tea-withnofixinsplease]

AAAAAAHHHHH

[i-am-a-fish]

[theseusorus]

WHaT HaPpENeD?!?!?!

[i-am-a-fish]

could someone please turn the light back off again im not properly dressed and im very embarrassed

[vrix1ie]

Okay fish!!! We are very sorry we did not ask beforecoming in and turning on the light

[i-am-a-fish]

thank you so much dont worry it’s ok i’ll be ready in a second

[who-is-reign]

You okay now buddy?

[i-am-a-fish]

yes thank you im ready now

[gothogami]

[i-am-a-fish]

[lemonlipglos-deactivated2022111]

you look lovely!!!!!

[i-am-a-fish]

[indiandaughter-deactivated20130]

ill pay u $7 to have a crush on me

[fur-bies-deactivated20180106]

i let the furby skins soak in fabric softener after i washed them and my sis found them and sent me:

and i have never laughed so hard x’D

[eeeeeeeeeeeek]

never do i ever want to hear the words “furby skins” uttered ever again

[dracota]

You never peeled a furby?

[parakeet]

got caught existing. embarrassing 

[veinitas]

me when i see a cat: CAT! cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat

[lurknomoar-deactivated20151109]

Fun fact: when I see cute animals, I forget English and automatically revert to my native Hungarian. I don’t know what bystanders make of me, reciting guttural gibberish to rabbits.

[quizzicalqueek]

But the real question is, what are you SAYING to the rabbits? Is it ‘RABBIT! rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit bunny bunny bunny awww cute bunnyyyyy’?

[lurknomoar-deactivated20151109]

Well, I usually say the Hungarian equivalent of ‘bun bun bun lil bun look at your tiny spoon-shaped ears awww bun brave little lawnmower bun’, but sometimes I say ‘hey rabbits, my sister’s gonna go to med school’ because I think everyone should know.

[littlegaywitch]

I live in Japan, and I always revert to English to talk to small animals, and I was cooing at this tiny little fluff machine of a puppy in baby english like “hello you’re so cute such a cute hello hello yess you’re good” and the 70 year old Japanese lady that was walking him started to *translate the baby talk english into Japanese* for her pup. She wanted to be sure he understood it too.

[sindri42]

https://xkcd.com/231/

[wind-voice]

ACCURATE.

[elisamaza]

[i-hate-my-shitzophrenic-self]

WTF JUST LET ME DIE SHAGGY

[elisamaza]

[starryvioletnight]

This is the opposite of the perish meme

[panini-deaky-blog]

My cats weird obsession with Ringo Starr

So recently my cat has become infatuated with a picture of Ringo Starr I have hanging up in my room

He only ever does this with ringo, not George, the only other picture he can reach, I thought maybe he actually liked Paul or maybe it was just the frame so I conducted an experiment

I decided to try out some different pics of the Beatles together and he still seemed to prefer ringo over the other three

I then tried out individual photos to see which he preferred and he stuck by ringo every time

Finally I tested a picture of the band from a different era where they looked different, at least to a cat, and he still preferred Ringo, thus telling me that my cat has a thing for Ringo Starr

[deactivated-user-00008915842310]

honestly i think most girls these days feel this deep restless emptiness inside them because no one has access to a field or meadow anymore. you can’t run out of the kitchen with a scarf around your head until you find the nearest empty pasture with hay blowing gently in the wind and just lay in the grass for a long time and listen to the wind until whatever is terrible and hard has passed and you remember that you are made of earth and you will be earth again and then you pick a handful of queen anne’s lace and walk home. girls don’t have empty fields to run to anymore and somewhere deep inside they know that they are missing something vital, and they spend their lives looking for it.

[stardustcrusader]

sometimes u just gotta cut loose and let yourself roll down a hill and get grass and clovers everywhere

[stereolights]

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips

[stereolights]

im laughign remember when i made this post

[communistkenobi-archive]

“my battery is low and it’s getting dark” is so hauntingly human, so crushingly lonely. I can’t articulate the deep, profound ache that sentence evokes. It’s acceptance and defeat and terror and sadness all at once, all from one tiny machine we asked to explore the stars for us.

[birthdaylobotomy]

wanting to run away, but not the real kind. running away like how you saw it in childhood. running to endless woods that hid magic and monsters and adventure, running to hills filled with flowers and frogs and grasshoppers. swimming in ice-cold, clear streamed that the sunlight skipped and hopped off, packing one bag of crackers out of the drawer and having them last forever, one juice box, two cookies. not having to prepare but knowing the future of everlasting happiness and sunshine. 

[viohra]

The Angel of Death

FISTS YOU

And then you Die

[viohra]

Context: my teacher translated the verb “to grasp with one’s hand” as “to fist” since that’s kinda what it literally means, but you can’t translate it like that into English because “to fist” means something ENTIRELY different, but she doesn’t know that.

So she was explaining how they use the verb to describe the angel of death taking your soul — he rips your soul out of you with his fist. Now that’s pretty damn metal, but she said word for word “the angel of death fists you, and then you die” which is the single most terrifying and powerful sentence to ever grace my ears

[electric-daisy-forest]

“My boyfriend/ girlfriend won’t let me…” yikes yikes yikes, abort that relationship

[antigothesis]

Unless its like

“My bf/gf won’t let me eat chocolate anymore because of that time when I said that I’d stop but I didn’t and ended up almost dying”

[kaijuno]

“My bf/gf won’t let me cook anymore after the spaghetti incident”

[nucleardaddy]

“My gf won’t let me pee in the sink”

[libertybill]

It’s been months since my wife let me go “buck wild” at home depot.

[sideshow-bob]

My boyfriend won’t let me drink red bull after the time I chugged it in three seconds, laughed hysterically for 20 minutes, then slid off my chair onto the floor and fell asleep under the D&D table.

The difference is caring vs controlling.

[4gifs]

Tiger gets a bad baby tooth removed

[petermorwood]

When a tiger’s first response to having a tooth yanked is not a roar, snarl or swipe with claws, but a test nibble to check that its mouth works as well as it suddenly feels, it speaks volumes about how much the bad tooth* must have hurt.

*You can see, briefly, that it’s black and nasty on the inner side. Yuck.

[nadunevitram]

poor baby

[rampaigehalseyface]

I’m just awed by the amount of trust in this gif. That tiger totally trusts that the human is going to help with that scary metal object on an already painful area and the human totally trusts that the tiger is just test nibbling and not chomping down on his arm. I flinch when a house cat comes at me too fast and these two don’t even hesitate to trust each other.

[ciarachimera]

baby :3

[anarcho-faggot]

I cannot explain my fondness for the words “test nibble”

[lainathewitch]

“thank you human” *nibble nibble* ^_^