i need you to know that i am on my hands and knees begging for a “i used to want to be a hero, until i found that even heroes die” update. that fic has taken over my brain!!!
Gather around children, Mother has a message for you:
My dad was disabled. And around the time I updated I used to want to be a hero until I found out even heroes die last, he really started to go down hill mentally and physically. I was working on top of that, and I lost my groove. Then a little while later, my uncle died unexpectedly. And then my father lost motor function. Within six months of my uncles death, my father could no longer walk. And just under two months ago, he passed.
And to cope I came back to this story like I always do. And I’ve started writing again. But, with that comes editing and the realization that the story isn’t going in the direction I’ve set up. And now, to tell the story that this has turned into, and to tell as honest of one as I can with the relationships I’m showcasing…
I gotta retcon some shit.
Sorry guys. I gotta retcon shit and fix the plethora of plot holes and mistakes I made without a beta. And find an experienced one who knows enough about the MCU and this fandom to help me make sure I don’t create more LMAO.
The story is still going in the same direction, but certain aspects have to be changed if I want this to be as plot hole free as possible.
So, if you see new updates, but the chapter doesn’t look the same, it’s probably because I changed details, or took something out that I realized isn’t going anywhere. I may have even added in scenes or switched around scene placement.
I also have to fully remove <i>and I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life</i>, which is a bit bittersweet because that was the first ever fic in this series, technically, because it was the product of me deciding to combine the two what if scenarios of an alive Pietro Maximoff and female Peter Parker with my desire to fix the MCU as a whole to my liking. I’m probably just going to delist it from the series rather than remove it completely, but we’ll see. I still really like it even if it is no longer canon to this series.
I realized in the time period between my uncles death and my father’s that I was drawing on my own feelings and desires to write this story. Because like Peter, I had a very specific relationship with my uncle that looked more like a father, but it was because like <i>Tony</i>, the limitations of my dads circumstances affected my relationship with him. And when my uncle died, I lost all progress and gumption I had to continue a story about how a girl finds another father figure after one dies.
It was much later in my life and my dads that we connected in a way that didn’t feel like he was teetering on a roommate that yelled a lot. I knew he loved me, but his own issues with the father who abused him, plus his disease, meant there was a disconnect always-even if as he got worse, our relationship got better. But like Tony, I think I have a better understanding for him now that he’s gone.
But that leads me to where I am now. And part of me thinks it’s poetic, and another part knows I desperately need therapy, but after being violently shoved into Peter Parker’s shoes and losing both my uncle and my dad in two years, I’ve found a passion for it again. It’s helping.
But it means I reread everything for the thousandth time and there’s a lot of glaring issues I have to fix.
And I still really need to learn how to write about bureaucracy.
It won’t be so different that the plot is different, promise, but details to the mystery have to be beefed up, and I think for plot congestion I have to change the timeline for certain events like the Christmas Gala.
Strap in. I think yall are gonna like it ;)
