In defense of the girls nobody dates
Whenever I would watch a romantic comedy with my dad he would say, “These are all the same. The pretty girl can’t get a guy.” Except we all know, at the end of the movie she does and that’s really all that matters — not the cheating or the lying and betrayal — just the happily ever after. Just as our brave new worlds are being built around social media where everything is perfect in a glimpse, our depictions of love in the media have been forever skewed for the audience to bank on the fact that two people with nothing in common can come together and stay together forever. It’s easy to believe forever in a movie. One of my favorite Rom Com movie lines is when Rosie O’Donnell tells Meg Ryan in Sleepless in Seattle “You don’t want love. You want love in a movie.” That my friends, is self-awareness at its finest. Because of my favorite genre, I will continue to believe that when the movie ends, even though we don’t see the “forever” we know that forever is out there and in it are all of the movie happy couples hanging out at backyard barbecues and baby showers.
Reality TV is essentially the same with its spattering of drama followed by a photo op that depicts perfection. We buy into the perfect, even though perfect is insane. We know it is crazy and yet, and yet we still want it for our own. Can I blame my ovaries? I blame my ovaries. They start talking to a girl at a certain age and she thinks it’s her own voice but it’s not.
So back to the girls that are struggling to find a good guy. Why is it so darn difficult? I think it is partially because the idea that one person will be with you for the rest of your life or really any length of extended time is a tough concept outside of movie world. However, love is the ability to believe in something that does seem a bit impossible. It takes some kind of providence, stars aligning, whatever you want to call it that enables people to come together and continue to proceed onward in the same direction. Love is magic. Plain and simple. Forgive my naivety, but that’s what keeps me hanging on.
I can tell you with certainty that feelings of unworthiness casually enter my heart and my mind will fight back with conviction that the girl who feels like she’s not good enough just hasn’t found h̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶e̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ (redact that) a reciprocal love. While I’m not trying to make a case for finding self-worth through another individual, I am saying it is nearly impossible to be single and not let those thoughts creep up on your every now and then. It’s human nature.
In a small scale essay, I do not think I will find a reasonable reconciliation for all of the girls that struggle in today’s world of dating. Time is precious and our time is consistently getting more filled with distraction and delusion. There always seems to be something better around the corner. There always seems to be one more fish in the sea, no time at all, yet time to waste and while we can all be grateful for that, think about the guys and girls that maybe just need another chance. Go on that second date. Give someone the benefit of the doubt. Think the absolute best of someone until you see otherwise. Put your best foot forward. Be on time. Dress up. Act chivalrous just because. All I can say is keep trying. They’re out there. That’s what everyone keeps telling me. But know that I’m right there with you, cruising down the river of time with the occasional traffic stop, course correction and best friend’s wedding.
https://medium.com/@jennapalermo/in-defense-of-the-girls-nobody-dates-c844b5df753a
stormborns
germansingergirl