Muppet Enthusiast

asoiaf dickrider 😔

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[butchgangle]

[voidheartemptysoulofficial]

this would be funny but cracker is a fucking slur and i get called it far too much irl so excuse me for not laughing

[interstellarwizardallience]

there is no fucking way you are being called a cracker regularly in your everyday life 😭 and if you are you need to stop whatever it is you’re doing that is making people call you that

[talyn-gray]

nobody told me asoiaf is fucking hilarious. jon's first chapter starts with him basically saying "thank the gods im a bastard because im gettung drunk as FUCK tonight" and it is cracking me upppp

[hashtagloveloses]

hearing steven yeun as zuko saying some gay shit feels like my dog that ran away finally came back to beat me at chess one last time

[wishing-well-art]

I had a really dumb idea

[hammersanvil]

[thelovelygods]

let’s drink and drive while papa has an aneurysm

[jroahn]

I wanted to practice drawing something a bit more complicated than what I usually do

[everydaylouie]

St. Jerome

[alicewiththreefingers]

Inspired by one of the greatest tweets of all time.

[sparvverius]

and was marie antoinette effectively utilizing coquette dollette hyper feminine toxic femininity lana del rey old money ceramic baby fawn sad girl girlhood girlblogger girlboss power when she secretly conspired with foreign countries to kill scores of her own citizens in an attempt to restore the absolute monarchy and the regime that had rendered millions starving poor oppressed colonized enslaved and murdered

[ladystoneshart]

35yo catelyn stark thinking of herself as a shrivelled old woman with one foot in the grave and 33yo jaime lannister brooding about having 3 white hairs on his beard and acting like an old battle-worn soldier reminiscing about his glory days... they're like 15yo twitter users who think anyone over the age of 21 is a senior citizen

girl you're taylor swift years old stop complaining about your knee pain and go hit the club

[nyxqueen97]

jon really is Cat's son cause he's the only guy that prioritizes arya's safety and sansa's rights like not even robb could deliver. FAMILY DUTY HONOR

[interstellarwizardallience]

this is why my jon snow parentage theory is catelyn/lyanna test tube baby

[maloops]

“Let him grow taller, she asked the gods. Let him know sixteen, and twenty, and fifty. Let him grow as tall as his father, and hold his own son in his arms. Please, please, please. As she watched him, this tall young man with the new beard and the direwolf prowling at his heels, all she could see was the babe they had laid at her breast at Riverrun, so long ago.”

Esse trecho acabou comigo 👍 catelyn com bebê robb.

eng: This excerpt wrecked me 👍 catelyn and baby robb.

[ladystoneshart]

asoiaf characters who are canonically pro choice:

margaery tyrell (moon tea enthusiast)

grand maester pycelle (moon tea supplier)

catelyn stark (feminist. wishes jon had been aborted)

jon snow (male feminist. wishes he had been aborted)

melisandre (uses aborted shadow babies as murder weapons)

everyone in dorne (chronically based)

cersei lannister (had a coathanger abortion because her husband had bad vibes)

asha greyjoy (2 steps away from inventing the IUD)

val (late term abortion advocate)

characters who are pro abortion but NOT pro choice:

hoster tully

[amikoss]

I love them so much

[jeyneofpoole]

sleeper contender for the funniest mean jon moment is in the asos first assault on the wall when some dipshit wildling named BIG BOIL gets shot and jon literally takes a break in the middle of fighting for his life to think “that will stop him bitching about his boil 🙄” this is the ONLY time in ANY of the asoiaf books including the wider written universe that the word “bitching” is used. he is a wordsmithhhhh he came up with that on his ownnnnnn. rip jon snow you would have loved calling people chopped fucking fat chuds 💔