Diamond

18. Mexicana & Deutsch. Future Psychologist. Professionally Diagnosed with GAD and Depression. Might have BPD and or HPD/NPD, but won’t self diagnose until diagnosed by my new therapist.

[inthebetweengod]

My Current Thoughts #2

Graduation is in a couple weeks. I’m very scared but quite excited. I’m not sure if my boyfriend is moving or not, but I finally met his parents and spent two days at his place and go to know them. I got back into contact with my ex boyfriend who has ASPD.

I’m trying to keep my grades up and get my last credits in, I’m also going to get my permit to drive. I have to register to vote. Wow being a adult is hard. Lol

[inthebetweengod]

My Current Thoughts #1

I’m a bit overwhelmed because in a few months I’m graduating from high school. My boyfriend is a junior and he is seventeen (he is supposed to be a senior but his birthday got caught off). So I’m bummed out he won’t be graduating with me. He is also moving to Washington.

While I stay here and attend community college. I just hope things will turn out alright. I’m stressed out over scholarships and when will be the last day I’ll see my boyfriend again.

We are both in couples therapy with other couples to learn how to communicate better. The school hired a Therapist to help students in general but he wanted to make this group so he can teach correct relationship skills.

So my boyfriend (Andy) and I are doing better. We learned our language of love, his was gifts and mine was time. So yeah.

[redurm]

Stuck between overemotional and emotionless at the same time

[inthebetweengod]

How I suffer in my new relationship

I’ve always dated people with ASPD and NPD, I knew some of them genuinely didn’t care about me. Yet I needed the harshness that they offered. Now I’m dating someone who is the total opposite of ASPD and NPD, he is a complete fully emotional person. He cries a lot and is very clingy. I’m not used to this, so I’m kinda aggressive with him. I’m not used to being loved on and that cringy love shit. Idk. But I appreciate him and he understands what I’ve been through so that’s good.

[inthebetweengod]

I can’t wait to start college and become a Psychologist. I will specialize in personality disorders.

[cryptranny]

the reason i’m thinking about this so much rn is bc of shane dawson’s new series on jake paul. calling him a sociopath and treating it like everyone with aspd is a serial killer. i’m just hoping katie morton sheds some light on the situation and educated him on what aspd actually is. we don’t need any more false info spread about it

[inthebetweengod]

♥️

[inthebetweengod]

To my followers!

Ask me whatever you’d like, I crave the attention. 💎

(old photo)

[inthebetweengod]

August 4th 2001 is when a Queen was born. 💎💜💚🐍😈

[inthebetweengod]

You're just gonna get yourself used and discarded if you keep up this dumb schoolgirl attitude.

You only get used if you let yourself get used.

[inthebetweengod]

Guess who is dissociating? Yay -.-

[inthebetweengod]

Is it only me or do I love to wink & blow a kiss to people in other cars while I’m being driven around? I love the idea of flirting with someone then I leave (sometimes literally) and their reaction is amazing. I think it’s a harmless thing. We are all gonna die so why not?

[textsfromtheborderline]

[inthebetweengod]

hey kid. you remind me of me when i was younger, i have hyper-empathy as well. i do want you to know that its not ok to hurt someone just because youre mentally ill, i know that sounds super rude and aggressive but thats not how i mean it. i was in an abusive relationship with a girl with BPD, and she manipulated me to the point where i was a completely suicidal shell. just be careful, use your gift to help yourself and others if you can. find someone who cares, you wont need to manipulate. 💚

Gracias! I really appreciate your advice. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I know hurting someone is never okay (manipulation isn’t always good either). I try my best to help people, but at the moment I’m focused on helping myself. That’s why I haven’t posted on here lately. 💚 empathy is something I will always give.

[inthebetweengod]

“Take risks and if you fall, don’t fall backwards, fall forward. Because you will be closer to your goal than if you fell backwards.”

- Francis, (ex boyfriend) professionally diagnosed ASPD advice to me

[inthebetweengod]

4. What do you want out of your life the most?

I want to achieve happiness. Though it may seem cheesy, it’s completely true. I want to be happy.

[inthebetweengod]

You mention that you love manipulating people, claimed that you abuse people (make up false accusations to make them stay, threaten to kill yourself, etc), and romanticize cluster B people and try to emulate them. Its not healthy. You're only 16. Youre still a child and youre still developing your personality, so if you suspect a personality disorder, instead of jumping in head first, seek professional help. If I got help when I was younger I probably wouldnt be living with a debilitating PD.

Well obviously I know the danger. I understand what you are saying. But I don’t always manipulate people, I rarely do it. I only do it, if it’s something that can benefit me. I’ve been like this all of my life since I was a little girl, so I highly doubt that I’m only doing it because of Cluster B people. Yes, Francis has taught me some manipulation techniques, but that was only for certain things. Yeah, I’m only 16 and everything is still developing. Yes, I do have a concern that I am actually going to therapy again. I support getting professional help. Yes, it may seem like I romanticize these types of people but if you knew the whole story of why. Maybe you can understand. People always hate and are afraid of people with personality disorders which is their own opinion. But majority of people who have disorders (in general too) are actually good people who need support. Some of the things I post condone bad behaviors, but sometimes some people want to relate to things. But I won’t ever condone harming another human being or animal. (I am aware that harming a person includes emotionally and mentally hurting them too)

[inthebetweengod]

Are you aware of the type of Narcicisst (tho I doubt ur an N) that clings to an overt Narcisst to get their supply through the overt, worshipping them, loving them? Because they learned thats how they get their "approval"? You kind of remind me of that.

Yes, I am aware of types of narcissism. I understand where you are coming from.