Rotten Grapes and Moldy Milk

Lily ~ Languages & Memes ~ Gay as the Day is Long ~ 20

[wizardnuke]

not to be a history fucker on main but the whole mystery of the lost colony of roanoke is so fucking funny

[wizardnuke]

governor of the colony: hey I’m gonna go back to england to get more supplies

115 colonists: okay

governor: ends up spending 3 years in england bc of a naval war with spain or some shit

governor: gets back to the colony to find everyone gone

governer: sees the word “croatoan”, the name of a native american tribe, carved into a post

croatoan tribe: has members and children with blonde hair/blue eyes, pale skin

everyone: what could have happened to the colonists of roanoke

[wizardnuke]

racism is a hell of a drug

[langernameohnebedeutung]

governor: I can’t believe my colony died

roanoke folks: actually these really nice people took us in? we left you a note about that? so please stop telling everyone we’re dead?

governor: Sometimes I Can Still Hear Their Voices

[whitlockienterprisespresents]

Some of those suspiciously mixed-looking Croatoan tribes-people were even still using the surnames of the Roanoke colonists! The degree to which ‘The Mystery of Roanoke’ is NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY MYSTERIOUS is fucking ridiculous! As an out-and-proud history fucker, I cannot tell you how mad I was when I decided to look into this ~super tantalising mystery~ only to find that it’s so dumb. It’s so dumb, guys.

[997]

in 2O2O yall better feel the rain on ur skin! NO ONE ELSE can feel it for u. period

[ardhangini]

choose a partner who is good for you. not good for your parents. not good for your image. not good for your bank account. choose someone who’s going to make your life emotionally fulfilling.

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

[me drawing 7s with a little line through them to impress girls in the library]: hmm. what? yes, i always draw 7s like this. it’s normal for me.

[bob-belcher]

[littleredbard]

[malamatter]

Is that…, josh peck…

[juuliaroberts]

stay focused on the queen

[donutsquishy]

there he goes

[radical-eirini-deactivated20210]

a king on his steed

[lesbiantiana]

there’s nothing better than plain boneless rice

[lesbiantiana]

picking the bones out of every individual grain of rice is hard work but it’s worth it

[shitty-car-mods-daily]

[leftboob-enthusiast]

Okay so I bought a dress today (along with a pair of dark blue velvet pants they are great)

and it looks pretty normal, right?

WRONG

GREETINGS I HAVE COME TO LAY A CURSE UPON YOUR VILLAGE AND KISS ALL YOUR WOMEN

[dakterrible]

Lesbian Trickster Goddess

[leftboob-enthusiast]

Excuse me, that’s BISEXUAL Trickster Goddess, thank you very much

[logicaloveranalyst]

Represent

[constellations-and-energy]

Reblog the Bisexual Trickster Goddess for a bountiful harvest and to encourage representation of Bisexual people 

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Gotta reblog this it has a Powerful Good Energy

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

New Print Link Masterpost - Illuminated Shitpost Prints

Hey yall, here’s an updated link promo post for stuff on the store for shitposts now that ive phased some prints out and updated others. Spiders Georg will return in Avengers Endgame around the end of October at the latest so everyone’ll be able to get it in time for winter gift season. 

In any case here’s the long post with everything and all the links, feel free to press j to skip or blacklist the tag “print link masterpost” These links dont include commissions, there’s other listings for that, and I’ll be making another post for non shitpost print designs. Any pieces where the OG post is NOT my shitpost (and was not posted anonymously) I either got permission for them with the writer directly OR have a tracker that sends them a percentage of sales in payment for use. 

here we go

1) Naval Seal Copypasta 

2) Dummy Thicc Ventricles

3) Thy Mother

4) Limerick Rolled

5) Descend Into Hell…

6) Fireball

7) Ronald Reagan’s Grave is a Gender Neutral Bathroom

8) Man Door Hand Hook Car Door

9) Welcome to Mcdawnalds

10) Fuckin Love Coffee

11) The Sour Hour (in reference to my post about eating lemons straight)

12) My Immortal (first paragraph)

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

13) Spiders Georg

[catchymemes]

[catchymemes]

[everythingfox]

Look at this fluffy cow

[pondwitch]

i love a fog. i love a woods.

[chippyyyz]

I love to munch a fresh baked goods

[strongwomenandstrongcoffee]

Honestly I’m a little tired of the abortion discussion centering around child raising and such. Like, if I got pregnant today, and someone offered to adopt the child and pay for my medical bills and everything, I still would have an abortion? You know why? Because I don’t want to be pregnant. I don’t want to put my body through that for nine months. And I don’t want to risk my life in childbirth. Fact is no one will be able to do that for me, so untimately it’s my choice and that’s all there is to it. 

[eleanor-gillespie]

I might lose some followers but this is so important to me. I’m a mother, I’ve been through pregnancy and labor, and friends let me tell you- that shit is HELL. No one should be forced to go through that. Ever. Abortion is a right. Periodt.

[twitblr]

0_0

[lovenolo]