Shit.com

My name's Del and i love Art, Cosplaying, video games, TV shows, and this is my blog.

[turing-tested]

people in 2018 really are out here thinking that because karkat yells and is angry he’s not healthy for Dave when in reality none of Dave’s triggers or beating were accompanied by anger or yelling but instead by cold unreadable silence. dave absolutely benefits from someone who yells and broadcasts their emotions so wildly, just. he really wasn’t abused through anger, the absence of emotions is what really fucks him up, and karkat couldn’t hide an emotion if he were wearing 15 masks

[mamoru]

a corpse is not representation

[iphianthes]

Salty purple bitch. These aren’t the professional ones btw just some fun selfies and stuff pls don’t judge meeeeee 💜💜💜 Keith is @ritsuokoroi Shiro is @rachelethearistocrat Allura is @/galacticgrumple Photocred to @echorosephotography

[iphianthes]

Photography by Echorosephotography on insta ARquiussprite is sicxkid fefetasprite is spicey.boi

[sandsvendor100]

Every Minute Someone Is Peeing Their Pants

[perkwunos]

It wouldn’t be a minute otherwise

[sandsvendor100]

The Minute Hand Turns Every Time A New Pant Is Peed

[carbonscales]

As a 90′s kid, it blows my mind that origami youtube videos exist. You can look up any model and watch a pair of manicured hands assemble the thing in real time, in full color, in 3D, with cheerful flute music in the background. When I was little, you had a library book with no words and these esoteric little dotted lines and arrows and it was just you, your hands, your paper, and the cruel, uncaring eyes of God.

[sollay-b]

Happy 413, I literally started drawing this before Collide and sorta abandoned it until this year. Seriously the base sketch is so old.

And here’s the full thing

[fennethianell]

Did anyone thought about this?

[domirine]

sleepyheads in love (if you think barold doesn’t own Sleep Jeans u can fight me)

please consider tipping me with ko-fi! ☕

[candyredterezii]

Its so weird when you find out like a rlly popular tumblr user is a Homestuck. I dont know why. But it gives me whiplash finding out some popular humor blog is into Homestuck. Like imagine the emotion you’d feel if Randy Slimetony came out that he’s read Homestuck. Like what the hell.

[turing-tested]

you did this.

[curseworm]

just lie down on the sidewalk with your tongue against the concrete till th whole world dissolves like an uncoated pill

[howdymynamesis]

i wanna know if op was okay when writing this

[curseworm]

one day youll be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe and youll have to justify the space youve filled

[howdymynamesis]

what

[teashoesandhair]

A sitcom about the modern Greek gods where everyone is wildly miscast

Zeus is played by Michael Cera

[dasfeministmermaid]

😂😂😂😂 Hephaestus is Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

[teashoesandhair]

@seerofbirds has cast Danny DeVito as Aphrodite and @qrowxiii has cast Eddie Murphy as Ares, so this is shaping up to be a pretty great TV pitch and if anyone from Hollywood is reading this, could you also consider casting Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson as Hermes and Christopher Walken as Apollo, thanks.

[teashoesandhair]

Hera is Oscar Isaac because are you really going to cheat on Oscar Isaac, Michael Cera? Really? You’d do that? You’d look at that man’s face and chase tail somewhere else, Michael Cera, you sack of shit?

[angelicfangirl]

I’m dying this is fantastic I NEED THE WHOLE CAST

[teashoesandhair]

Hades is Whoopi Goldberg and Persephone is Jeff Goldblum and Demeter is Julie Andrews. Their interplay makes up 70% of the film and is all improvised.

Athena is played by Amy Schumer (thanks anon!) and she defeats her enemies by being incredibly loud and annoying and plagiarising all their tactics and eventually they just give up in irritation. She only has 3 minutes of screen time and no dialogue. Thank fuck.

Heracles is played by Jesse Eisenberg because Michael Cera got to be Zeus. Sometimes they swap roles. No-one notices.

Poseidon is played by Daniel Craig but his only scene is when he reenacts the famous Bond scene with speedos.

[teashoesandhair]

Artemis is played by Robert Pattinson and all his lines are just slightly amended from Twilight. Dionysus is played by Helen Mirren. It is perhaps the only apt casting in the film.

[teashoesandhair]

To clarify, Hestia is absolutely played by Charles Dance, whose costume includes an apron which gets progressively dirtier throughout the series.

In the sitcom, which precedes the feature film and which focuses on certain myths every episode, Narcissus is played by John Goodman. Echo is played by Billy Crystal. 

Other episodes include the story of Eros and Psyche, played respectively by Jane Fonda and Shirley MacLaine, the story of Daedalus and Icarus, played respectively by Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern, and the story of Zeus overthrowing Cronus, in which Michael Cera as Zeus must defeat Cronus, as played by John Cena, in a battle of wits and muscle. Astonishingly, he wins.

[i-can-do-tricks]

this is all very good gud

but who is perseus and medusa? jason , Midas, circe, media, please I NEED TO KNOW

[teashoesandhair]

These are very important questions and I will answer them immediately.

Perseus and Medusa are played by Andy Samberg and Glenn Howerton. All their scenes together are just them one upping each other with improvised insults.

Jason and Medea are played by John Boyega and Meryl Streep, and all their scenes are so beautifully acted that they both get nominated for Oscars, despite the fact that one of Jason’s lines is “are you trying to fleece me out of the golden fleece?”, to which Medea replies “me, fleece you? Oh no, me dear.”

Midas is played by Steve Buscemi, obviously. For no discernible reason, everything he touches does not turn to gold, but copper alloy. This is possibly due to budget cuts. Due to their on screen chemistry, he bizarrely has several buddy cop style scenes with Jeff Goldblum’s Persephone.

Circe does not appear. If she did, she would be played by Audrey Hepburn, using that creepy CGI from the Galaxy adverts, but her estate refuse to give their permission.

[teashoesandhair]

Important updates:

(Anonymous suggests: Kelsey Asbille Chow playing Achilles, Michelle Obama is Thetis, Danny Trejo as Helen, Terry Crewes as Paris, and Adrien Brody as Hector. olvmpos says: Ganymede is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and regularly benchpresses Michael Cera.)

[giantsnakesextape]

Hey @teashoesandhair I’m not saying that I felt inspired and sketched Whoopi Goldberg and Jeff Goldblum as Hades and Persephone but that’s exactly what I’m saying

[teashoesandhair]

OH GOD THIS IS PERFECTION. THANK YOU. JUST THANK YOU. PHENOMENAL.

[giantsnakesextape]

YOU’RE WELCOME BUT ALSO PLEASE HELP COS I CAN’T STOP

[teashoesandhair]

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE POSTER FOR THE SERIES, YOU HEAR ME

[teashoesandhair]

I’m mad that people are just reblogging the first post here because YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON THE MOST INCREDIBLE ARTWORK YOU’LL EVER SEE

[morietris]

Okay, I gotta ask, who’s the Hyacinthus to Christopher Walken’s Apollo?

I can already hear Apollo’s relevant lines in Walken’s distinct cadence, but I wanna know who he’s cradling, devastated, while crying out in anguish and also pausing at all the wrong places.

[teashoesandhair]

What a great question, and it brings me absolute joy to reveal to you that it’s Jackie Chan. He does all his own stunts. There is only one stunt, and it’s him collapsing into Christopher Walken’s arms. For some reason, there are explosions.

[that-rascal]

@wtfzeus

[wtfzeus]

Oh my god 🤣

[koroke-deactivated20191105]

Maybe you already did it but, davekat swapping clothes?

karkat’s clothes are boring so i drew god tier outfits but they’re so close anyway i was like whatever. so. here i guess LOL

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

I cannot physically roll my eyes harder at gender neutral bathroom signs that jerk off their own wokeness by being like “whatever just wash your hands :)” and then have a picture of a mermaid and a lumberjack and an alien and a godzilla or some shit. If you’re a real ally put your money where your mouth is and guillotine Mike Pence.

[orangutanjcalliope-deactivated2]

“If you’re a real ally put your money where your mouth is and guillotine Mike Pence” is possibly the greatest sentence i’ve read so far this year

[cartnsncreal]

[assgod]

2017 is over. The time of not knowing that “they” exists in singular and the plural is also over.

[babyblainers]

Remember how everyone loooved jennifer lawrence and hated kristen stewart for those embarassing twilight movies but now jennifer lawrence is a gross racist and kristen stewart is a wlw with a buzzcut? Can you believe how wrong we all were?

[ape-of-naples]

ANCIENT ROMAN MEME DISCOVERED

1 2

2 50

it doesnt translate very well

[jasonbarfex]

GET THE FUCK OUT