Your Ass Is Grass And I’m Gonna Mow It

My kittens name is Taco and that’s the only interesting thing going on in my life at the moment. 22, psychology student, CQU, Australian.

[literally-ahammer]

Tomarrymort x Severitus has so many possibilities.

Severus: So let me get this straight—

Harry: Mhm.

Severus: You're dating the dark Lord? The one who killed your parents?

Harry:.. Yes?

Tom/Voldemort: Y'know, I never understood the whole 'Severus is scary,' but I'm starting to see it now—

Severus: You do realize how big the age gap is? HE'S OLDER THAN ME!

Harry: Yes, but I'm dating the sixteen year old version.

Severus: THAT'S STILL BAD— Y'know, it could be worse.. actually no, no this is as bad as it gets.

Tom/Voldemort: I think I'm just gonna step out—

Harry: Do NOT leave me alone with him!

Severus: I need to take a walk.. and some shots.. to the head.

Tom/Voldemort: I feel as though I know where your loyalty lies now, though—

Severus: YOU KEEP YOUR SNAKE MOUTH CLOSED!

[kingofnagging]

Harry: He Who Must Not Be Named? More like He Who Fails To Kill A Puny Nemesis All The Time.

Voldemort: Ouch.

Harry: No, really. Seventeen years. Countless attempts. Still here.

Voldemort: You’re like a magical cockroach with sarcasm issues.

Harry: And you’re a noseless Victorian ghost with control issues ten kilometers wide.

Voldemort: Victorian?!

Harry: You float. You monologue. You dress like a cursed opera understudy.

Voldemort: I strike fear into hearts!

Harry: You strike aesthetic. You look like you haunt a cursed piano.

Voldemort: I will end you.

Harry: You’ve been saying that since I was a babe. Clock’s ticking, drama queen.

[prokopetz]

“So let me get this straight. We’re here to rescue a princess.”

“That’s right.”

“At the request of a princess.”

“Right again.”

“And you, who will be leading the expedition, are also a princess.”

“You’re very perceptive.”

“How big is your royal family, again?“

“We don’t have one.”

“But–“

“We overthrew our monarchy centuries ago, but we kept most of the titles around. The rank of ‘princess’ is held by the directors in charge of various civil service branches.“

“Huh. And the princess we’re rescuing today is in charge of…?”

“Public sanitation.”

“The Lord of Death’s Dominion kidnapped your public sanitation director?”

“We think he’s a little confused.”

[armed-with-knitting-needles]

I laughed too hard not to reblog this.

[teaboot]

I mean. If your goal is to cause maximum death, letting trash, sewage, tainted water, and biohazardous waste pile up in a populated area with zero oversight is a pretty efficient way to go about it

[escuerzoresucitado]

[barcarole]

Galina Ulanova coaching Nikolai Tsiskaridze for Narcissus, photos by Mikhail Logvinov.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

my grandmom's new thing is saying 'well I won't be around for that' anytime Anyone tries to make plans with her and tonight she mentioned she's about to turn the age her mother died at so she's for sure on her way out and we were like. death isn't genetic??? you're completely healthy?? and she literally said 'well I'd rather die than be wrong'

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

when james earl jones died earlier this week she called my mom and was like "93......." and my mom was like sorry are you implying you can't make it to your birthday on saturday because james earl jones doesn't want you to be older than him. like is he gonna stop you. do you have an intricate connection to james earl jones that you've never told us about before.

[costumegifs]

Sabrina Carpenter and Jenna Ortega TASTE (2024) Dir. Dave Meyers Styled by: Ronnie Hart and Enrique Melendez

[hansoeii]

the honda odyssey, huh?

[i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky]

Klaus + holy trinity The Umbrella Academy: 1x01 | 2x03 | 3x04 | 4x02

[killowave]

[supremeshogunrj]

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

[libraryogre]

Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?

[queersona]

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

[queersona]

[jojo pose] count dracula. [different jojo pose] nice to meet you. [jojo walk cycle] alexa, turn down the music! [the obnoxious music doesn't change volume] mr harker

[virtualgirladvance]

Cuntula

[mysticalalleycat]

[boo-topia]

I made some blobs for yall

[pissfizz]

A platypus?

[boo-topia]

[pissfizz]

PERRY THE PLATYPUS???

[wordsaremylife]

🤣😂

[sosuperawesome]

Bark Backpack Pattern // Whymsi Row

[titkoks]

[toomuchtaylor]

This man nearly died to create this for us. The least we can do is watch it from start to finish and then share it immediately.

[fantasyinallforms]

Tonight, we remember one who lent his enormous talent to telling the story we have all come to love. Hail, the victorious dead!

May the Simbelmynë cover his tomb as it did the tomb of the one he so accurately portrayed.

Bernard Hill Dec 17, 1944 - May 5, 2024

[animentality]

this is also how I reply to them.

[momo-de-avis]

you guys wanna see the most accurate and blasphemous representation of the words ‘catholic shaming’?

[momo-de-avis]

happy easter, everyone

[momo-de-avis]

you know Easter is just around the corner cause this post is making rounds again

[momo-de-avis]

It’s that time of the year again