Something thatās crazy to me, watching supernatural for the first time with a fully developed frontal lobe (this is hyperbole: there is no scientific evidence that the frontal lobe ever fully develops, we are ever changing) is just HOW gay it is. The first time I watched it, I was like 12-15, and dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia (woo!). Destiel fanfic was actually the first queer content that I ever engaged with. I had this weird justification in my head where I loved them together in fanon, but I told myself I couldnāt see the chemistry between them in the actual show. I had this sort of image of Dean as this incredibly heterosexual, bad ass man who would never actually be interested in men, so when I saw bi jokes/canon evidence that he was bi, I was always likeā¦yeah, whatever.
Okay. Wellp. So, I went into this rewatch with the mindset that I wouldnāt be biased (lol, bi), and, dude. Heās The Bisexualā¢ļø. Younger me was such a fool. I know that the coding likely comes from a place of the writers being like ālol, gay funnyā, but it gets to a point.
I was watching with a friend when we got to the siren episode (of note: I donāt remember 90 percent of the plot lines of the show: it has been many moons since my first watch. Iām pushing thirty). As soon as the premise of the episode was set, I turned to my friend and I said āā¦calling it now: the siren is going to appear to Dean as a manā and they laughed at me. And thenā¦Jesus, dude. I understand that they were going for a āSam is the most important person in Deanās life, and shit is rocky, hence: new brotherā butā¦they WENT ON A DATE.
Also, also. Castiel and Deanās dynamic in season four is clearly meant to parallel Ruby and Sam. Their relationship (super straight, definitely just dudes being bros) is the direct foil of Sam and Rubyās definitely more than platonicā¦thing. Ruby corrupts Sam while Castiel guides Dean while Dean ācorruptsā (frees) Castiel.
āMy superiors are doubting me because of my feelings for youā (indirect quote, I canāt be bothered to look up the exact line). ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Isnāt being doubted and shoved out by your family because of your feelings for someone the most DIRECT QUEER METAPHOR in history? Jesus h. Christ, bro.
Rewatched Free to Be You and Me last night, and realized upon watching it that it was 1.) likely my most rewatched episode as a teen, so that was a treat, 2.) so gay, dude. Wtf. (I was really watching the āCas and Dean go on a dateā episode over and over again and telling myself I only liked it because Cas is funny)
Yet again, the episode parallels Samās romantic life with Dean and Cas pal-ing around. It directly cuts from Sam on a dinner date with Diner Girl to Cas and Dean at a candle-lit dinner in a brothel (lol).
āI havenāt laughed like thatā¦in yearsā¦ā he says, gritty and platonic, eyes shining with tears of bromance.
Anyway. All of this to say: watching as an adult, itās honestly crazier to me, from a writing standpoint, that itās NOT meant to be romantic. I donāt understand how they were writing this shit and thinking that it was straight. Alsoā¦Iām in a pit of despair and canāt stop reading Destiel fanfic. Wasnāt expecting to be back here at 27. Teen me would be. Likely disappointed, actually.
