I’ve never seen anyone talk about how even in recovery for self-harm, where you don’t do it conscientiously, it still feels like lying when someone asks about any scratch or wound. Even when the reason for it is innocent.
“Where did that mark come from?”
The oven. I burnt myself on the top of the rack when baking cookies. I don’t know why it feels like I’m lying, but that’s the real reason.
I’m paranoid that I’m lying or it sounds like I’m lying when I’m really not, because I’m used to it being necessary. I’m used to having to think about whether something sounds believable.
“What happened there?”
Ah the dog scratched me. I know it looks like the scars I have but it’s actually not that.
I don’t know why I’m suddenly so sweaty and panicky, I don’t know why you asking about the cut I got while chopping tomatoes is making me go into flight or fight. Just please stop asking me questions.
