1) welcome back! You were missed! 2) Do you think certain MBTI types are prone to certain problematic behaviors and 3) if so which ones really bother you or you dislike?
Thanks. Yes, certain MBTI types show trends when it comes to problematic behaviors. My top one for each cognitive function:
High Te (ENTJ, ESTJ, INTJ, ISTJ): The Sledgehammer
Summary: Uses a one-size-fits-all solution for different sized problems.
Using brute force to power through situations that might require more patience, finesse, and reflection.
âThis worked great for me, youâre dumb not to do the same.â
âDonât pursue a career in art, youâre going to be poor. Go into business, law, or medicine.â
Impact:Â The problem with being a hammer is that youâll start to see everything and everyone as a nail. It also makes people feel like their opinions and points of view are less valuable than yours. It also falsely presumes that the choice which yields the best output objectively (example: the job that yields the most money) is the best. It negates the reality that people have different indicators for success because there isnât only one correct answer to every question.
Solution: Incorporate subjective variables into your objective logical frameworks.
High Ti (INTP, ISTP, ENTP, ESTP): The Hamster Wheel
Summary: Invalidates everything in a perpetual logic loop.
âWhy? Why? Why? Why? Why?â x1,000,000
Impact: You succeed at winning debates but fail at solving problems. Whether or not you can rationalize the validity of money doesnât take away from the fact you still have bills to pay at the end of the day. Whether or not you can rationalize the value of grades and traditional education doesnât take away from the fact youâll be denied entry into many careers without the right qualifications. Whether or not you can rationalize that having children is a logical idea or not doesnât take away from the fact that many people aspire to be parents. The validity of other peopleâs goals, dreams, concerns, and issues are not contingent on whether or not they can explain them to your satisfaction.
Solution: Create solutions, answers, and actions for every hole you poke in other peopleâs logicâ not more problems.
High Fe (ENFJ, ESFJ, INFJ, ISFJ): The Guilt Trip
Summary: Guilt trip. verb. to make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something.
Example: Self-explanatory.
Impact: This is manipulation. Youâll get on peopleâs nerves and make them miserable because youâve forced them into situations they didnât willingly want to enter or participate in of their own accord. Secondly, you havenât provided solid concrete reasons and logic for why someone should do something, itâs an argument made without taking into consideration the other personâs comfort or needs.Â
Solution: Explain clearly and transparently why you want someone to do something (yes, itâs really that simple).
High Fi (INFP, ISFP, ESFP, ISFP): The Cloudy Mirror
Summary: Judges people for things they donât want to be judged for.
âI wish society wouldnât judge me for not wanting to have children and not wanting to be a housewife.â [Proceeds to judge people who want to have children and want to be a housewife]
âNot everyone wants to be rich in life, we all have different definitions of success that should be respected.â [Doesnât respect people who want to be rich in life, automatically think these people are greedy sell-outs]
Impact: This is hypocrisy. It also comes off as illogical and presumptuous when peopleâs intents and motivations are automatically filled in by you. Some people buy sports cars because they actually have a passion for drivingâ theyâre not necessarily materialistic. Some people seek high-paying careers at the expense of personal passions because they have obligations and goals theyâd like to reachâ theyâre not necessarily greedy. Some people like traditional gender roles in relationships because thatâs their personal choiceâ theyâre not necessarily oppressed and/or close-minded.Â
Solution: Accept that âconformityâ in behavior, goals, aspirations, appearance, etc. doesnât equate to misery and/or lack of authenticity.
High Ne (ENTP, ENFP, INTP, INFP): The Whiplash*
Summary: Chronic quitting and the inability to commit due to impatience and lack of discipline.
*Whiplash: noun. a neck injury due to forceful, rapid back-and-forth movement of the neck, like the cracking of a whip.
âIâm going to do A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J ⌠Z!â [Does none of it]
âLetâs do this. Letâs do that. Letâs go back to doing this. Letâs go back to doing that.â
âI want to have six-pack abs! Iâm going to be SHREDDED.â [Exercises and eats well for one day then goes back to bad habits the next day]
Impact: People stop taking you seriously because you canât execute on your promises, it dilutes the weight of your words and it corrodes respect (ex: âYeah, uh-huh, sure you will, buddy.â). No one is immediately an expert at something the first tryâ seeds take time to grow and youâre no exception to this rule. Developing expertise and skills require time, commitment, and consistency. Results donât happen overnight.
Solution: Underpromise and overdeliverâ donât overpromise and underdeliver.
High Ni (INTJ, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ): The Nutcracker
Summary: Hits people below the belt using knowledge those people shared against them.
Someone is insecure about their weight, you insult their weight.
Someone is insecure about their skin color, you make a comment about their skin color.
Someone tells you a secret, you expose it.
Impact: People wonât confide in you for fear youâll use what they told you against them. This creates barriers to having close and meaningful friendships because people will view and treat you like a ticking time bomb they canât let their guard down around. Understand that certain topics and comebacks are off-limits no matter how you feel about the person at the moment; certain words and actions have a lasting impact on your relationships. Memories fade but scars last.
Solution: The nuclear option should be your last resort, never your first.
High Se (ESTP, ESFP, ISTP, ISFP): The Blindfire*
Summary: Leaps before they look.
*Blindfire: noun. The term referring to the act of operating a firearm without looking at what one is shooting at.
Winging it, all the time.
Google Search: âDonald+Trumpâ
Impact: Your lack of foresight and lack of planning will set you back even further from your goals because immediate rewards and instant gratification often only provide short-term benefits that rarely last. Thereâs a proverb thatâs applicable here: âmeasure twice, cut onceâ which means that investing time and energy up front to do it correctly the first time will save a ton of time, money, energy, and grief later down the line.
Solution: Stop, drop, and roll think if the path youâre on actually leads to where you want to go.
High Si (ISTJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ): The Helicopter
Summary: Micromanaging, nitpicking people to death.
âWrite the email but let me review and edit before you send it.â
âWhat are you doing right now? Where are you going? When are you coming back?â
âI noticed when you loaded the dishwasher you put the spoons and forks in before the pots and pans, you should put the pots and pans in before the spoons and forks.â
Impact: Half the internet is writing posts complaining about you, the other half is writing posts complaining about having to read all the posts complaining about you. Micromanagement saps people of confidence and motivation, it also increases the chance that the bad thing youâre trying to prevent will actually happen. Additionally, youâll feel paranoid and anxious that something will go disastrously wrong if youâre gone which results in burnout because youâll always need to be there to keep an eye on things. This is counterproductive for everyone involved.
Solution: Choose your battles wiselyâ focus on the âwhatâ (the goal) and not the âhowâ (the method).
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