Burning out

ϟ Annoying person made of book quotes, song lyrics, sarcasm, useless information that no one really cares about and tears because there's no such thing as wasting too much time crying over fictional characters ϟ Harry Potter, HIMYM and Green Day are the best things that have ever happened to this world ϟ Bands are better than friends ϟ

[roboco-san]

my best feature is that I'm blindingly intelligent for about 30 seconds a day

[roboco-san]

I do not get to choose which seconds. they are not consecutive

[studentlifeproblems]

[pom-seedss]

Me submitting my 5 page paper anyway

[beameized]

Okay but tad cooper actually became a dragon

[callmebliss-got-swamped]

And I actually got a Masters in English Summa Cum Laude

Thanks Tad Cooper

[teenagerposts]

when u step on a leaf and it doesn’t crunch

[onlytwitterpics]

[everythingfox]

Cat

[toastbutteregg]

this also happened in my family and my dad is either half asleep or watching tv pretending to be interested

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thehoekage]

[airandangels]

it looks like his lecture series got more popular!

[catchymemes]

Life hacks

[hamenthotep]

[zorahooc]

If I wasn’t feeling old 2min ago I damn well am now.

[dancibayo]

Is ctl+alt+delete not a thing anymore??? But yee man old lmao

[historianoftumbles]

I am profoundly bothered by this post

[tbthoe]

me: *hears she looks so perfect on playlist* ew ive heard this too much

me: *hears she looks so perfect on the radio* simmER DOWN SIMMER DOWN

[quickweaves]

[forcekenobi]

talking to your pet is like

stinky (affectionate)

idiot (affectionate)

pet’s actual name (derogatory)

[everythingfox]

Guy helps stray cat drink from public fountain

[whitepeopletwitter]

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[fandom]

This post is the most reblogged post of the year! Congratulations!

[moist-astronaut]

you're absolutely correct it was

[studentlifeproblems]

[lord-kitschener]

Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they’re tragic famine victims who haven’t eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now, because you’re 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me

[artaeum]

the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it

[instructionsfordancing]

not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion

[lord-kitschener]

This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs

[catsuggest]

wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?!

[goldenmeme]

My cat is a social eater who is not food motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first got him because he didn’t seem to care about food but he would SCREAM at me for hours when I knew his bowl was full. Any time I went to double check that he did indeed have food, he’d book it to the bowl and snarf like his life depended on it, but as soon as I walked away he’d follow me screaming again.

Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a dining companion and was screaming about how we’re a family and families eat together, god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if I’m ever out for more than 12 hours I’ll come home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for hours but he’s been trying to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me to eat it. 

[leeferal]

My cats are indoor cats. Being indoor cats, they can’t go outside to hunt for food (mice, rats, birds, etc) to gift to my sister and I.

But they know that the kitchen has food. They know where the easily accessible cat food is. And obviously my sister and I are just Really Big Stupid Hairless cats.

So if my sister and I go without leaving our rooms for too long? My cats will sit outside our doors and scream for our attention, lead us to their food bowls, and then only stop the screaming and leading once they see us sit down at the table and eat something. Because they think we’re hungry.

[akuyaku-reijou]

Your cats are the sweetest beings on the Earth, it makes my heart warm knowing that they exist. They love you very much and they care so much, they want you healthy and happy and will make sure you don’t neglect yourself and oh god they are so perfect. Real pure love exists, I am happy to be alive today.

[mylove-isnot-fragile]

My neighbor is a hardcore drunk. Like, 9am and dude is drinking vodka, but he had a cat that’s pretty much his honest to god caregiver because I have seen this cat visibly screaming at this man to keep him from hurting himself and sometimes when he hasn’t been outside for a while, the cat will scream at my door until I go outside to knock on the door to check on him. Cats are literal angels.

[dragonkitty]

I have a cat named a Kitty Pryde who has an extra thumb and these giant paws and while she’s not super bright she did learn that she likes being pet. So I must like being petted right? So if I’m watching TV alone she’ll come up and just with her giant paw gently stroke my arm or hand until I pet her back and she waits and pets me again and it goes on a while. Cats are angels.

[trinandtonic-deactivated2022102]

My cat once stuffed my bath mat into the litter box

[nerdy-birdy18]

That’s a really nice litter box

[befuddledlesbian]

my cat, like most cats, like to steal food from the kitchen surfaces. my dog doesn’t like this because she can’t reach, so she’ll come and snitch to us that he’s there so we can throw him off. so my cat started pushing bits of food off the surfaces to pay off the dog so she wouldn’t tattle.

[grawlboy]

My cat used to do something similar, except she was never interested in eating the food. Back before our last dog passed away; Mittens (the cat) used to push food off the counter and watch Roxy (the dog) eat it.

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

Whenever I’m battling a depression downswing (I’m always depressed but some periods are worse than others) I tend to stay up very late. Part of this is that I have a delayed circadian rhythm, but part of it is that I sacrifice physical needs (sleep) for emotional needs (contact with friends, my favorite video game). My cat Sephie noticed this pattern. She already has a vocabulary that’s distinct and understandable. She invented a new sound to make for “you need to go to bed, mama.”

So now, if I’m still up around 11pm, she jumps on my chair and scolds me that it’s past my bedtime. She takes good care of me.

[madmanatw]

Cats are the best. QED.

[obaewankenope]

i fucking love cats and will hurt anyone who thinks they’re evil

[robotsandfrippary]

Fizzgig is a super vocal cat.  If you try to pick her up when she doesn’t want to be, she growls immediately, followed by a maiming if you don’t put her down.  But she will let you know she wants to be picked up by gently putting her tiny paws on your hand.  She sleeps in the top of the cat tree and she’s very affectionate when she’s sleepy.  If she’s amenable to cuddles she will put her paws on my head since she cannot reach my hand to let me know she wants to be picked up.

[kalbindenoperim]