PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
noise dept.
shark vs the universe
roma★
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
🪼
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
occasionally subtle
h
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Mike Driver
wallacepolsom
No title available
$LAYYYTER
No title available
cherry valley forever
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@its-proprietary-blog
((Hi all, Elaine here! After some thought, I’ve decided to drop Olivia from Isola. I love her to death and she’s a great character, but I feel like there are other characters that would be both easier for me to play and that I want to play more.
Thank you so much for all the great threads with her. I enjoyed playing with your muses tremendously!))
Is there a line they will not cross when it comes to violence/insults?
She wouldn’t murder, like, an infant. Or a baby cat or something. She’s not Lord Voldemort.
Children, though, are completely fair game.
SIN
Not feeling the nasty business right now so how about we address lust’s more volatile cousin, wrath?
Send one of these in and I’ll talk about my muse.
How often do they find themselves fighting others?
Do they regret when they strike out? Find satisfaction in it?
How quick are they to resort to violence?
Is there anything that makes them snap faster?
Do they throw insults or fists first?
Have they killed before? How did it impact them?
If they could kill or harm another, without repercussions, would they? Who would it be? To what extent?
Do they believe it’s okay to use violence to resolve problems?
Is there a line they will not cross when it comes to violence/insults?
Do they try and justify their actions? How?
Do they have rituals or other motions they go through to calm themselves following violence?
Do they have any sort of visceral reaction to violence?
Are there certain times, currently or in their past, when they are more prone to violence than usual?
Are there certain places where they regularly find themselves in trouble?
What’s the worst situation they’ve ended up in before, due to violence?
Has anything good ever come to them from acting violently?
Do others tend to look down upon them for their actions? Whether benign or violent in nature?
Was violence a big part of their childhood?
Do they follow another’s teachings when it comes to their treatment of violence?
I have a question! (Asker’s choice)
Switcheroo!
[Send me “Switcheroo!” and I’ll redesign your muse as if they were from my muse’s universe.]
Welcome to the Sky Kingdom, Supernumerary Rainbow!
What’s up with all this research on “portals” and “other dimensions”…? You know that stuff’s just an old myth, right?
Malachite.
malachite: what my muse as a child thought they would be when they grew up
“A little princess in a magical fairy castle. What else?”
“No, I always wanted to be a scientist. I was inspired by many incredible women in the field, you know.”
((Yo, I love your Livvy! Her devil-may-care attitude, her jolly demeanor laid over a sinister menace, her ever-present scientific curiosity... It's all straight from a film I love so much!))
((Thank you so, so much! I love Spiderverse too so it’s a huge relief to know I’m getting those aspects of her character right.))
send me a crystal and i'll tell...
abalone: what kind of situations compromise my muse emotionally
aegerine: my muse's opinion of the supernatural
agate: how my muse calms down
blue lace agate: my muse's favorite form of communication (verbal, letters, texting, etc.)
fire agate: if my muse is brave or cowardly
moss agate: if my muse has a high or low opinion of themself
amazonite: what kind of situations call for my muse to be dishonest
amethyst: what my muse would most like to be able to shape-shift into
ammolite: how lucky or unlucky my use is
angel aura quartz: my muse's opinion of LGBT+ issues
apache tears: a sadness headcanon
apatite: a headcanon about my muse's intuition
apophyllite: my muse's religious/spiritual beliefs
aquamarine: where my muse feels most calm/relaxed
biotite: the biggest problems my muse is currently dealing with
bloodstone: how my muse sees themself as part of the world at large
calcite: my muse's social tendencies (introverted vs extroverted, parties vs one-on-one conversations, etc.)
carnelian: an art-related headcanon
celestite: how my muse deals with anxiety
chalcedony: the saddest my muse has ever been
chalcopyrite: how my muse deals with ending relationships
charoite: who my muse looks up to
chrysocolla: a money-making headcanon
copper: how I think my muse will end up when they're older
coral: how my muse views the natural world
diamond: a sex headcanon
dolomite: a sleep headcanon
emerald: how my muse tells someone they love them without words
fluorite: what my muse's room looks like
fossil: what my muse's dream job is
galena: what it's like to be in a relationship with my muse
garnet: what my muse's perfect partner would be
gold: my muse's financial situation
hematite: how squeamish my muse is
hiddenite: how much of an "inner child" my muse has
iolite: my muse's drinking habits
jade: if my muse would ever cheat on a partner
jasper: what my muse would be like as a parent
kyanite: an anger headcanon
lapis lazuli: where 'home' is to my muse
lodestone: what kind of people gravitate towards my muse
malachite: what my muse as a child thought they would be when they grew up
mica: what my muse views as their worst personality trait
moonstone: my muse's opinions on outer space
mother of pearl: if my muse tends to lift people up or bring them down
nebula stone: how good my muse's memory is
obsidian: which of the seven deadly sins my muse would be
opal: how creative my muse is
pearl: a mental health headcanon
petalite: what my muse would do if they found a wallet on the street
pyrite: a physical health headcanon
quartz: how my muse thinks other people see them
rhodonite: if my muse prefers elegance or convenience
rubellite: if my muse has any 'triggers' that inspire painful memories
ruby: a happiness headcanon
sapphire: if everyone my muse knew was hanging off a cliff and they could only choose three to save, the rest certainly dying, who they would choose
serpentine: how my muse would seduce another [alt: how my muse makes their money]
silver: if my muse prefers masculinity or femininity
tsavorite: if my muse believes in destiny or fate
ulexite: how empathetic/sympathetic/compassionate my muse is
unakite: what my muse's ideal pet would be
verdite: my muse's ethnicity/family history
zebra stone: what gets my muse excited
zoisite: does my muse believe everything's going to work out for them in the end or not?
Manhandling symbol starters
Send one for your muse to…
★ - drag my muse by the arm ⁂ - grab my muse by the front of their shirt, possibly shoving them back ✱ - take my muse by the hips to carefully move them out of their way ➜ - smack my muse upside the head ⌧ - grip my muse by the back of the neck © - put a hand on my muse’s back to steer them somewhere ✂ - point sternly at a chair and tell my muse to sit down ✉ - push my muse back down when they try to get out of bed (perhaps involving illness, injury, or sleep deprivation) ☛ - press a finger to my muse’s lips to shut them up ♚ - put a hand on my muse’s knee while sitting next to them, to discourage them from standing up ♧ - slap my muse’s hand away from something they shouldn’t touch ♦ - grab my muse’s hair and yank ♤ - slam a door shut before my muse can leave the room ♞ - physically pick my muse up and carry them ♭ - grip my muse’s jaw to make them look yours in the eye ♨ - rub my muse down with a sponge/wet cloth ☀ - pin my muse with their arms behind their back ☠ - slam my muse into a wall ☾ - wrestle/pin my muse to the ground
Add as much or as little context as you’d like!
Horrific Headcanons
Send a symbol for a headcanon about my muse. All horror/angst/scifi related.
✘ Have they ever committed a murder? ▼ What is their greatest fear? ✿ Would they ever trust dark or wicked magic? △ Name one thing from their past that they regret. ✂ If they had to choose one weapon to carry forever, what would it be? ☣ Would they kill someone close to them if they had to? ☢ Would they survive an apocalyptic situation? ❣ If someone had the power to bring them back after death, would they want them to? ☠ Do they fear death? ♱ What do they think awaits them after death? ¿ Are they easily frightened? ╳ How would they react to seeing a loved one become possessed? ☹ Name one person they would kill for. ☼ If they had the choice to be immortal with one other person, who would they choose? ☎ How would they react to receiving a phone call from a deceased love one? ★ Do they have a favorite scary movie? Book? Show? ♣ Do they believe the world is made up of good and evil? ♥ Have they ever acting out of heartlessness? ☾ What is their favorite and least favorite thing about the night? ψ Do they think they deserve punishment for their wrongdoings? ϟ Have they ever gotten pleasure from causing others pain? ♚ Do they consider themselves to be evil? ♒ If they could choose how to die, how would they want to go? ™ Are they possessive? ✔ Are they holding a grudge against anyone? ◯ Do they believe in ghosts? ✦ Who is their favorite villain? ☄ While watching a scary movie, are they the one clinging to a friend or being clung to? 웃 Do they believe in aliens?
1-800-how’s my portrayal?
This mun is now accepting feedback!
Please remember there’s a difference between hate, constructive criticism, and giving praise because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.
Interview the muse!
► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭ “Yes.” ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭ “Well, I’ve achieved immortality, so yes.” ► ARE YOU ANGRY? ➭ “I’m never angry.” ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭ “This is stupid. Why do I have to answer these?”
NINE FACTS.
► BIRTH PLACE ➭ "Minnesota.” ► HAIR COLOR ➭ "Brown.” ► EYE COLOR ➭ “Green.” ► BIRTHDAY ➭ “July 12th.” ► MOOD ➭ “Thrilled.” ► GENDER ➭ "You have any idea what it took to get it to say ‘F’ on my paperwork? Female.” ► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭ “Fall.” ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ “Afternoon.”
EIGHT QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.
► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭ "This is stupid.” ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭ “Oh my fucking god.” ► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭ "I’m done. No more interview.” ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭ “Seriously, I’m walking out the door.” ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ Door slamming noise. ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭ "...” ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭ "...” ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ "...”
SIX CHOICES.
► LOVE OR LUST ➭ "...” ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ "...” ► CATS OR DOGS ➭ "...” ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭ "...” ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭ "...” ► DAY OR NIGHT ➭ "...”
FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS.
► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭ "...” ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭ "...” ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭ “...” ► WANTED TO DISAPPEAR ➭ “ … ”
FOUR PREFERENCES.
► SMILE OR EYES ➭ Door opening noise. ► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ “Apparently I’m required to do this.” ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ “Intelligence.” ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭ “I’m not much for relationships.”
FAMILY.
► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ "Hahaha! Oh. No.” ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭ “I’m a world-renowned scientist creating technologies worth trillions of dollars. My life is quite good, actually.” ► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ “Yes.” ► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭ “Also yes.”
FRIENDS.
► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ “Who doesn’t? Liars.” ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭ “No.” ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ “Well, she doesn’t consider me one these days, so.” ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭ “...Ugh. Is this over? Thank God.”
smallblueboyscout:
TXT To –> [Scary lady]: I used to have a laser pointer and I pretended it’s a real laser, so when I get mad I point it at people and pretend it’s hurting them but dad said that’s bad so I just break things that can be broken without causing problems!
TXT -> You cannot be serious.
TXT -> So you expect me to believe that, rather than doing something that harms absolutely nobody and is probably even a good anger management tool...
TXT -> Not that I would know, since I’ve never needed it...
TXT -> Your father has you break things?
TXT -> And you somehow pretend to fire lasers... with a laser pointer... on accident.
TXT -> I just want you to know: I’m putting the ellipses in for emphasis. Because your story is just that ridiculous.
“I mean I usually just destroy things when I’m mad so I don’t accidentally laser someone.”
TXT -> How do you ‘laser someone’ on accident?
thwipptective:
He doesn’t want to, that’s the thing. He feels like he doesn’t have to– the city will do the work for him and she will suffer all the same. But he feels like he has to, just to prove her wrong, just to wipe that grin off her goddamn face, just to let it get across that she’s not welcome on this ground so long as she breathes ( and Peter knows she will breathe after this but he will try every night to stop that ).
It’s just unrealistic for him to find joy out of this and yet his hands get so impossibly closer and her throat is tightly gripped; his thump presses against her windpipe and he doesn’t say anything. Just wants it to be over with so that he doesn’t have to deal with her–
G-d, Jon better not know. That poor boy, the figure of what life should be like. The city does not deserve him as he does not deserve the city. Even as he’s pushing all his weight ( she’s probably already going to die and find herself in her bedroom ), Peter still looks frantically around himself.
And when her body looses heat and it starts fading away, he gets up and shoots a web to the floor she was once on. Peter walks away, that’s all he wants to do, to wipe his dirty hands clean.
It turns out dying hurts. As much as she’s confident that this won’t be permanent, as much as she wants to act cool and collected and not give into panic, instincts start to take over as her vision fades out. For a brief moment, she struggles against the web bindings... but to no avail. It doesn’t take long after that for conscious thought, and then her brain itself, to stop.
...And then she’s awake again, in the middle of the city, the only difference being a single day having passed.
She remembers everything perfectly. She was killed. And now she’s alive. This universe does work on new rules - she’s immortal here.
She throws her head back and laughs, as any good villain should.
This is going to be glorious.
limonadaquimica:
Honey Lemon pushed her glasses back into place with the back of her hand, the fingers of which were currently busy holding a pastel pink pen, the top of which was adorned with a little waving Hello Kitty in a kimono, before returning to her notes.
❝ Not at all, professor, it’s just … nooooot to go too off topic, but wouldn’t instantaneously intercommunicating satellites better serve as an advance warning system, you know, in case a country, or community finds themselves in danger and unfortunate enough to be devoid of any other emergency service, ma'am? ❞
Her forte was chemistry, but there was never anything wrong with broadening her knowledge, and despite shifting to a more hard science, Honey Lemon was entirely enthusiastic to learn as much as she could. ❝ Theoretically, of course, professor~ ❞
Oh, someone actually asked her what the doomsday laser satellites were for. What a ridiculous question! The obvious answer to “why do you build a satellite that can fire a laser large enough to destroy Rhode Island” is “why not?”
She couldn’t say that though, as much as it were true. People would ask questions, and it’d just be such a bother.
“An advance warning system?” she says, as if she’s never considered the idea. “Well, that just raises obvious questions, doesn’t it? Like... for example... what does the country in question do next, once they receive the warning? Fire their nukes? Draft an army? Evacuate?”
She starts pacing back and forth in front of the blackboard.
“Surely, you’ve heard of the deterrence principle - basically, the idea that a country will not use superweapons on another with the threat of instant retaliation. Well, it relies on humans, and humans are prone to error. A so-called ‘doomsday satellite’, on the other hand, is perfect deterrence. Place it above a target - say, a city - and as soon as an enemy fires its own weapons, that city is...”
She spreads her hands out wildly over her head, like an explosion.
“Annihilated! Poof!”
You had to work odd jobs to get funding sometimes. Olivia knew this - it’s why she’d worked on that damn documentary. Fisk had insisted upon it. Something about PR.
That logic was why she had applied to be a teacher. She had an incredible resume, even if it wasn’t exactly from here, and more than enough experience with science to make an at least half-decent teacher out of it. Hell, she could be a fun teacher. She’d probably run circles around Mrs. Frizzle or whoever the “gods” of this place dumped in this city next.
And that was how she was teaching the in-and-outs of how to build the highest-quality doomsday laser satellites to a university class. It was educational.
And someone seemed interested in it, instead of confused. A smart cookie. She liked that. They’d raised their hand to ask a question.
“Yes? Am I going too fast?”
Is there a reason everyone seems so twitchy lately? Or is this just the normal atmosphere around here?
