Four Horsemen of the Rock-pocalypse

27 years old Beanie Baby Wizard

[thediscossessed]

And I hope all my big girls lose all fear of taking up space. Fat women are discouraged for their existence on every level of society but we are beautiful and make the world worth living in.

[junglejim4322]

Why did 4 months of this year go by in like a week

[junglejim4322]

Where am I

[infectiouspiss]

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

[infectiouspiss]

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

[infectiouspiss]

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer

[spiribia]

I like when the bus stops directly in front of you out of the line of waiting people and opens its doors. Chosen by the dragon

[icarusdiesatdawn]

I hate this post. Ever since I read it I can't help but think "chosen by the dragon" whenever the bus stops in front of me or "denied by the dragon" when it doesn't. Every. single. time. That's a minimum of ten times a week. Do you know how annoying that is

[userfinalgirls]

april fools? on [tumblr] ? i see fools on here 365 days a year, pal.

[evilvillain123456789]

ATTENTION!

FEUDALISM RESTARTING IN 10 SECONDS. CLASSES WILL BE RANDOMLY ASSIGNED

[gossiping-about-dead-ppl]

i got merchant

[twoblogger]

Also, here’s the assigner link for convenience

[sunshinehunter]

lemme imprison all the corrupt politicians before you kill me or w/e

[tboy-trash]

please, write to staff and complain about the continual ban of trans women, especially if you're not a trans woman yourself. i'm under no illusion the equivalent of a strongly worded letter will stop them but they should at least know we're all seeing this and taking note

[tboy-trash]

they think nobody cares outside of the relatively small group of trans women, and the even smaller group of outspoken transfeminist trans women, the ones primarily targeted, in part because enabling rampant transmisogyny for so long on this site has made it so it's not completely untrue. we should try and make it different. if you care in the slightest about the women being terminated -many of whom rely on this site for income- please say something about it

[tboy-trash]

keep doing it even if some of the girls are back btw. 1-not all of them are and 2-this is a repeated pattern. they can do this anytime and they will keep doing it for as long as the rest of us allow it.

[willgrahamscock]

of all the phrases we used to say in the 2010s era we need to bring back ‘what the hap is fuckening’ because honestly… what the hap is fuckening lately brother

[willgrahamscock]

not for me I was born on the cob

[rocketbirdie]

[sphingidaes]

"hurt people hurt people" yes mistress. anything for you mistress.

[sphingidaes]

I Will Die In Combat For You Mistress

[thoodleoo]

the joy of working with middle school aged children is that, regardless of how long you've been doing it, they will always find novel ways to annoy and confuse you, which is okay because that's the natural state of the middle school aged child. anyway suffice it to say that for the past three weeks of school my 6th grade class has been greeting me at my door by lining up outside of it, playing the national anthem, and saluting me as i walk in.

[jouster-ari]

What they're doing to you:

[wtf-is-hockey]

God sometimes I'm writing smut and I'll like, delete a sentence because I'm like, no, I can't write that. It's too indulgent. And then it's like. Girl, what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins. Get real.

[pseudospaceship]

"what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins" is honestly the thing I needed to hear today

[somniphobicfox]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

vibes

ink: diamine firestorm

[aster-is-confused]

my favorite genre of bird picture

[leecherally]

@best-bird-tournament Look at them 😍

[gleerant]

if you ever find yourself thinking “wow I scraped the bottom of the barrel with my energy with that and came out okay!” that’s the devil talking. you did not come out okay. you borrowed energy from the future. you will repay it if you don’t rest and replenish the borrowed energy first.

[gleerant]

this one took off quickly - are you guys ok

[wizard-of-interesting-failure]

WIZARD PSA: Chronomancy might be weird and confusing, but one of the few solid rules of the discipline is keep your promises. Time is a library, and you don't want to meet the librarian.

[crimsonflowerzz]

currently running the Sweetie Pie Challenge where i dont hit anyone with a tire iron as hard as i can for seven days

[crimsonflowerzz]

failed

[crimsonflowerzz]

oh so you’re fucking perfect

[sweetoothgirl]

Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookies

[dragon-in-a-fez]

ah shit I just got Infomercialed

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I opened a kitchen cabinet and there was a big open bag of spaghetti inside, and a waterfall of spaghetti gushed out, continuing for a comedically long period of time while I, for some reason, desperately tried to catch individual noodles instead of blocking the bag so more didn't come out.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

has this ever happened to you? there's gotta be a better way! [picture suddenly changes from black & white to full colour] introducing the spaghetti dam