entp

"frantic efforts to avoid abandonment"

[itsborderlinebitch]

imagine having normal, fluid, multifaceted emotions and not going for a turbulent rollercoaster ride of earth shattering excruciating devastation and completely deprived self-encasing emptiness

[flyingfloatingfree]

Just a reminder

If you have ceased contact with a toxic person, you do not owe anyone an explanation. Doesn’t matter if they are a family member or close family friend. Doesn’t matter if they are a friend or acquaintance of yours. If you sense the slightest hint that they do not approve of your estrangement and they are not going to be there for you, all you need to say is: “I don’t feel comfortable discussing it” People who were emotionally abused have spent far too long defending themselves. Justifying their own feelings. Trying to make others see and understand what they went through. You don’t have to do this anymore.  <3

[furiousgoldfish]

abusers will go “i would never do that” while doing it, having done it, and planning to do it again

[infpisme]

[heavenhillgirl]

The Love Witch (2016), dir. Anna Biller

[itsborderlinebitch]

when you say things like “donald trump is delusional” you demonize psychosis. you put a label on those who suffer from delusions. delusions about people trying to hurt them, false beliefs about oneself or others, thoughts that objects are evil etc….i have had delusions, i have friends who are delusional. none of them are evil , or racist or any of those things. donald trump is not psychotic. donald trump is a rich, racist, control craving, conniving, manipulative, politician who knows exactly what he is doing and knows that what he aspires to is oppressive and harmful, he doesn’t care because he doesn’t have to. his disregard for people who arent rich white men is not a result of mental illness, it is a result of privilege. thanks

[infpisme]

[itsborderlinebitch]

my two moods are:

“sex is gross pls dont ever touch me”

“suck my COCKiness lick my PUSSuasion😍👅💃🏽💅🏽🐰”

[leonardcohenofficial]

Are you going to any protests?

nice try FBI; if anybody gets a message like this don’t be stupid and share anything about whether or not you’ll be attending a specific action. spreading the word from official social medias of your local BYP100/black lives matter chapters is one thing (though still be careful), don’t fuck around with sharing info about your location, who you’re going with to actions, etc. 

[bpd-tree]

My kink is people who accept me even with my mental illness and don’t abandon me when it’s too hard for them

[beckylouisethompson-deactivated]

BPD symptoms to stop making fun of and recognise as what they really are:

Needing attention Outbursts of emotion (especially anger) Not getting out of bed Social withdrawal Self-destructive behaviours Being ‘clingy’ Forgetting things Getting upset about everything Bad self-care Promiscuity ‘Weird’ or ‘unusual’ triggers Needing validation

[user64290]

Needing attention - with out constant stimulation from our relationships, we forget we even mean anything to anyone. Outbursts of emotion (especially anger) - there are 5 intensity levels. at levels 4-5, we become the emotion. it sucks. (source: dialectical behavioral therapy)

Not getting out of bed - with bpd, depression is a reoccurring mood. Social withdrawal - we are champs at perfecting facades. don’t always have the energy for it though. Self-destructive behaviours - sometimes needed to escape those 4-5 intensity emotions.  Being ‘clingy’ - fear of abandonment. love addicted. not knowing how else to care about people. Forgetting things - emotional impermanence. we lose perspective of things we did if its associated with something painful (aka all things, all things are painful).  Getting upset about everything - impossible to see the good in anything unless someone sucked the cognitive dissonance right out of our heads. in other words, splitting–it’s a thing.  Bad self-care- see: depression is a revolving and reoccurring mood. Promiscuity  - see: needing attention because we don’t feel like “real” people.  ‘Weird’ or ‘unusual’ triggers - sorry if you hate the word ‘trigger’, but that’s exactly what this is. emotional ptsd. how else would you explain, “oh fuck, that song reminds me of when _____. welp. time to dissociate. haha i’m not here anymore. haha, i don’t feel anything.”??? Needing validation - we want attention to feel like people. we need validation to feel like good people. 

WISH I FIGURED THIS SHIT OUT A DECADE AGO. 

you’re welcome.

[clinicalacronyms]

stuff to remember if you’ve got BPD

Not everything is your fault. You’ll mess up sometimes, but so will everyone else.

Leaving a discussion to stop yourself losing your temper or getting triggered is not ‘losing’. You are just trying to be responsible and healthy.

You are not manipulating people by asking for support when you feel bad.

Denying the parts of yourself that you don’t like will not make you the person you want to be.

Ignoring emotions you don’t like will not make them go away. The fastest way to deal with them is to accept that they’re there.

You can learn to survive on your own.

Relapse is normal. It does not mean failure.

[itsborderlinebitch]

being treated right feels so???? unfamiliar????

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusers love to pretend to be misunderstood and dealing with a lot of pain, guilt, concern or fear at all times. They love to make out their past so it seems like they’re some kind of tragic hero, or someone who is only abusive because of everything they’ve bee thru. They will yell at you for “not considering their feelings enough”, you can recognize it in phrases “do you ever think about how it is for me? do you think i enjoy doing this?” as if you are the one ignoring their feelings, and not the reverse. Even when they look happy you’re supposed to always assume that deep inside they’re in some kind of pain and be as understanding as possible.

Don’t get fooled by this. People who are dealing with a lot of pain, guilt, concern, shame, and fear don’t take it out on their closest ones. People who are aware of what compassion is wont yell at you for not taking enough of their feelings into account. People who are living with pain and regret don’t look fucking smug and self-important all the time! People who live in shame wouldn’t risk hurting you and increasing shit they’re feeling ashamed about! People who are hurt and living in a lot of pain wouldn’t just go and try to make you feel awful about yourself too! They wouldn’t make inappropriate jokes or call you names or try to convince you that if they feel bad, you need to feel bad too, and if they are doing that, then you are not supposed to take their feelings into account anymore! 

Your empathy should not extend to those who have it as a goal to hurt you, when another person wants to cause you pain, this is where your empathy for them should end. No matter what they’re pretending to go thru, doesn’t it feel a little bit too convenient that their lives are so “tragic” and “misunderstood” and for that reason you’re supposed to just let them take it out on you and “understand where they’re coming from”? If they’re leading you to believe you’re a bad person if you don’t let them hurt you, they can just fuck off! It’s just a sham to make you believe that allowing them to cause you pain is noble from you, it’s not, your life has bigger value than to be a punching bag for someone, noble thing is to protect your life from that kind of parasite.

[furiousgoldfish]

if someone is

valuing you based on how much pain you can endure

valuing you based on how much you’re willing to sacrifice for them

praising you only when you give them what they want

praising you for enduring pain

praising you for forgiving them

encouraging you to take on more pain

saving their admiration for you only for times when you forgive them and tolerate what they do to you with a smile

waging their attention and demanding favours in return

insisting you should be honoured to be in their company

insisting you owe them for their time they spent with you

this person is abusing you, and at the same time trying to make you feel like abuse is good for you, and have you bonded to them and addicted to abuse.

[trauma-daughter]

one of the worst things about having a charismatic abuser(s) is that people don’t see how vile and deeply-manipulative they actually are. They only see the fake persona that they like to portray to the world.

[itsborderlinebitch]

sex under false pretenses is not okay. telling a woman you love them just to have sex with them is not okay. argue with ur therapist