Anxiety – Hello my old friend.
Please do not read the title of this article and think that I am minimising the effects of anxiety, I am not. I have lived with anxiety, for as long as I can remember and for that reason, I do see it as an old friend.
I am racking my brains to think when I first suffered from anxiety. As I do this, I think back and, realise that there is not a time when I can remember not suffering from anxiety. It has not always been the same type of anxiety, or for the same reasons, but thinking now, it is something I have lived with all my life.
In the last couple of years, I have taken several positive steps to reduce my anxiety. The first was to become sober, this did not happen overnight. I was not aware of how much of my anxiety was due to my drinking, and likewise how much of my drinking was due to anxiety. What I did realise, is that the two were completely intwined and I could not address one without the other.
I am pleased to say that I am coming up to 3 years sober now. I would love to say that, throughout my sobriety my anxiety has improved, but that would just be a lie. In fact, for the first part of my sobriety, it was worse than it had ever been! One of the joys of becoming sober is, you start to feel things that you haven’t in a long time. The downside is no one tells you what to do with all these new feelings!
I started looking online to see if I could find the answer. Why was I feeling like this? To start with, being online just made it worse. I read post after post about people quitting drink and turning their life around in a few short months. Everything was just sunshine and rainbows. I could not help but feel that I, was doing something wrong.
I spoke to a trusted friend about how I was feeling, and they said something that has stuck with me... “You think your sobriety is the end of your journey, when in fact it is just the beginning. Things might seem worse now you're not drinking but getting sober has given you the tools to start addressing things like you never have before.
Self-care became my new mantra. I wrote a list of habits that I wanted to develop, and I aim to hit 7/8 of my 10 habits every day. I already realise that life can be too busy to achieve everything at once, and for this reason I do not aim for 10. A few of my self-care daily habits are: Get up on time, exercise, read, watch what I eat, walk the dog, meditate, journal, and go to bed on time.
I have been doing this for a few months now, and guess what? The anxiety is getting a little better, I am not getting it quite so often and when I do, it is not so intense. I have no doubt that no one thing has done this but the combination of all the above.
I would like to say that things are now amazing but again that would be a lie. After spending a couple of enjoyable days with family just recently, as I was driving home, I didn’t realise at first, the traffic was getting heavier, I began getting butterflies in my stomach, I was getting hotter, I was starting to feel panic! That’s when I realised, “anxiety, hello my old friend, you will always be with me, but at least, I know how to make living with you, that little bit easier.”
Ben – It's That Sober Guy
Disclaimer – I am not a trained addiction or mental health professional, information is based on my own life experiences and shared in good faith to help others.
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