This weekend I went to Atlantic City to visit my best friend. She loaded her fridge with heinekens for me, got champagne to celebrate my belated birthday, and prepped for a fun boozy girls weekend.... imagine how awkward it felt for me to say nah, I think I'm good, and a dozen different variations for why I wasn't drinking other than simply.... I quit drinking.
We went out for dinner & I got a grapefruit juice while she had two fancy cosmos, she continued her evening with nightclaws, then we went to walmart to pick up board games to play back at the house. Again she asked me if I wanted a drink, and I went deer in the headlights for a good 20 seconds before finally saying no. In those 20 seconds the wheels in my head were spinning a thousand miles an hour, picturing me drinking just 1 and resetting my sober day clock, picturing that 1 turning into 5, picturing myself hungover with my head throbbing on the 3 hour drive back the next day.
No. I'm having too much of a good time to ruin it with poison and guilt and shame and go back to square one. Thank you but no thank you, thank you but no, no no no, not today not tomorrow, I'm good.




















