This Is A Revival

Lindsey,30 "When you demand a grain of salt and mother universe gives you the entire fucking ocean, that is when you know this life is nothing but grace."

[bumblebeebats]

God what i wouldn't give to have the sheer stamina and work ethic of my next door neighbor. Every morning, 8am, the hammers and drills come out. he's putting up shelves. he's feeding cables through walls 6 inches from my pillow. He's putting together furniture. He's making smoothies. He's 74 years old. Does it piss me off? of course. But i have to admit that he is clearly also the superior being. I need The Substance but to turn me (anemic 20-something with the constitution of a consumptive Victorian child) into this absolute beast of a man

[bumblebeebats]

Met this same neighbor today as he was effortlessly hauling his bike up 4 flights of stairs having just finished a 20 mile bike ride and i (masked and bedraggled) explained that I'm on the tail end of a cold but venturing out as I've run out of food, and he was like "Aww no!! 🥺🥺 If you ever need me to pop down to the shops and do some shopping for you just let me know!!" like Steven, that is SO kind, truly, but I have to draw the line at you doing Meals on Wheels for me right now. what i actually need is for you to come with me on a Back To The Future style adventure and somehow make you my biological grandpa because my current genes are simply not pulling their weight. can you leave me your zest for life in your will, Steven. Steven please

[mihai-florescu]

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

[mihai-florescu]

The lion will never financially recover from this

[inkskinned]

when i was 12 i babysat this girl for a few years and she would come to me and show me her art, drag me by my wrists and point at the pieces she’d made during the week. and she’d be like “do the voice” and i’d put on a sports-announcer olympics-style voice and be like “such form! this level of coloring! why i haven’t seen such perfection in crayola in a long time. and what is this? why jeff, now this is a true risk… it seems she’s made … a monochrome pink canvas…. i haven’t seen this attempted since winter 1932… and i gotta say, jeff, it’s absolutely splendid”  and she’d fall back giggling. at the end of every night she’d check with me: “did you really like it?” and i’d say yes and talk about something i noticed and tucked her in.

she was just accepted into 3 major art schools. she wrote me a letter. inside was a picture from when she was younger. monochrome pink. 

“thank you,” it said, “to somebody who saw the best in me.”

[fullmetalfisting]

Me: *looking at a porcelain hand in the home decor aisle of a store* if I lost my hands in some kind of tragic accident, I’d decorate my entire home with hand-shaped things. Then I’d invite guests over for like, dinner parties and such and sit there expectantly just basking in their discomfort.

My boyfriend: Do you hear what you say when you talk? Do you know what you just said to me?

[cbc-bb-deactivated20250802]

forgive me father for sometimes i just say things

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the songs Beyoncé writes about that man are crazy it's like watching someone build the sistine chapel for a possum they found in a gas station parking lot

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

having received a lot of feedback about this post in the last 24 hours I've realized that everyone is right and I genuinely do need to apologize. possums are lovely creatures and they don't deserve to be compared to Jay Z, that was a deeply uncool thing of me to say. I'm sorry possums, I love the way you eat ticks and I hope you'll forgive me someday.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I've been informed that the thing about possums eating ticks might also be wrong. sorry that this post has become a monument to bad information about the noble possum. the point about Jay Z stands though.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[yanguang]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[catchymemes]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[liberalsarecool]

Patriarchy has taught the world to punish women.

[i-was-today-years-old-when]

i learned that there's a Japanese beetle that when eaten by a frog will haul ass through its digestive system and escape out the back end unscathed (x)

[jacobtheloofah]

you eat me and i perfectly dodge all of your digestive enzymes and stomach acid and i sprint out your asshole fully intact

[fullcravings]

Brown Butter Dulce de Leche Rice Krispie Treats

[animatedtext]

requested by caffeine-high 

[dykecostanza-deactivated2024112]

[biglawbear]

LAW AND ECONOMICS BABEYYY