boomshakalaka

im a child but dont tell me what to do

[caats]

[cannibalings]

why are all the actual real human jobs like baker and florist and childcare worker barely paying livable wages but the fake jobs like ai specialist boot licker or marketing campaign dick sucker making six figures

[iwillwringyourneck]

because day by day we become less human

[carebewear]

I do often think about how the origin of “he would not fucking say that” was in reference to a post which depicted Cartman SouthPark responding politely when asked for his pronouns

[schistcity]

meme phrases are so mobile and versatile and that's really really beautiful but i'm always thinking about the first "she x on my y til i z" being "she ebbin on my neezer til i scrooge" and the first "fork found in kitchen" coming from a tweet about sehun from exo being spotted at a gay bar. like sometimes you just utterly nail it the very first time and no variation of the joke is going to be better.

[schistcity]

EXACTLY.

[schistcity]

a small collection

[madphantom]

"I'm just a girl☺️🥰💖💞💅🌺🌷🦄" when you were eight and the teacher said she needed some strong boys to carry something you used to be furious, and when you convinced them to let you help, you carried twice as many chairs as the boys with the righteous anger of a girl who knew she was just as capable as them. Where did that go?

[cupidsquilll]

[in-a-mellow-tone]

adding these two examples, as well

[boghermit]

Vampires when they sip on your blood and catch extra strength Tylenol, at least two psychiatric meds, two cups of coffee, weed, and microplastics 

[sadiecreature]

its 1 ball man chill the fuck out

[xtinedancefit]

Accidentally clicking on an AI assistant feels like clicking on a link that’s going to give you a virus.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[cosmikazie]

im going to say "you will be boiled" more in my every day life actually because of this image

[cruel-hiraeth]

call him bubonic the way he plagues me

[animentality]

[fox-moblin]

Wouldn’t leave my mind sorry

[bakersfield-row]

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

[shaddy-bee]

[himynameisemail]

[batbetbitbotbut]

Safety first!

[malkon-dova]

AAAAAARRGHHHHH GET THEM OFF OF ME

[lun4cat]

please, please help, they're going everywhere

[nayohme]

Old people love to own two identical ugly as shit dogs

[bunkerbride]

my brother’s grandma has been buying the exact same identical dog for like 60 years and naming each one boochie. I hate its immortal suffering.

[dynamohedron]

WHWHAHAHAHAVEGEDHDHWHAHAHAHA

[nayohme]

grandmas love to have complexes

[coughloop]

Are we just ignoring the person that got hit by an electrical blast

[gunsandfireandshit]

She’s just doing it for attention

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

my ex’s grandmother did that with black standard poodles she named Precious and told no one that they were different dogs until one of her sons came by one day and noticed that Precious had suddenly become a puppy after 30 years

[souryellows]

so she didn’t actually replace him with puppies bc that would be too obvious, she got younger dogs who were still old enough to pass as the previous dog and she had a habit of giving the dog makeovers (dying his grey hairs back to black , painting his nails etc bc “it’s good for his self esteem”) which made it less obvious when an older greying dog was replaced with a younger model. my uncle figures it out bc he moved back in with her to help take care of her and she couldn’t keep it from him when the dog switch happened

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

YOU DIDN’T TELL ME ABOUT THE DOG MAKEOVERS FHSHSH

[elodieunderglass]

Beste-glatisant’s ex got them with an electrical blast as well. Shocking post. Absolutely shocking. Stop reblogging to contain the voltage

[elodieunderglass]

Flshshfldlshdjkdkdjfhdhdfh

[gunsandfireandshit]

OK can someone call an electrician? I don’t think this post is up to code.

[kardamommy]

“my brother’s grandma” - who is she to you?? who is your brother to you???????

[the-haiku-bot]

“my brother’s grandma”

- who is she to you?? who is

your brother to you???????

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.