Chapter 2: they tell you that you're lucky but you're so confused
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pairing: benedict bridgerton x best friend!fem!reader WC: 2.5k words
Warnings: period-typical gender roles, idiots in love being idiots in love
Summary: You and Benedict have been best friends since childhood, but things change dramatically once you come out in society. You're struggling to find someone you're as compatible with and who knows you as well as Benedict, all while trying to quell your ever-growing feelings for him. Shenanigans ensue.
May 12, 1814 - Dear readers, As the season unfurls its splendid wings, the grand event of the ton draws near. In precisely one week, the radiant debutantes shall grace the glittering halls of Queen Charlotte's ball, hopefully looking radiant as they enter the marriage mart. Society is already buzzing with excitement, and the favorite topic of conversation is none other than the captivating Miss Y/N Beaumont. Known for her enigmatic charm and intellect, Miss Beaumont remains the ton's cherished candidate to capture the attention of the most eligible bachelors.
It also appears that the esteemed Duke and Duchess of Hastings have been seen making their way into town for the second time in only a month. This author must note that the Beaumont twins' birthday looms on the horizon, and it seems that the Duchess of Hastings has come to extend her felicitations and, hopefully, to offer Miss Beaumont some sage advice on how to find a husband.
Your impatience grew as your lady's maid meticulously attended to the task of dressing you for Theo and Bastian's birthday gathering. Having both families together again was incredibly exciting, and you were dying to return to them. The afternoon had been marked by an intense (and at times bordering on violent) pall mall match, leaving your pale purple day dress full of grass stains. Your triumph, undoubtedly sweet, had left you rushing to change into a more suitable dinner gown, a precarious endeavor knowing your older brothers did not take well to having to wait for food.
At last, appropriately dressed and fashionably late, you glided into the dining room, eyes instantly drawn to the unoccupied seat adjacent to Benedict with his arm casually draped over it. A surge of warmth coursed through you as you settled into your place, exchanging a quick, appreciative smile with Ben, only to be interrupted by Bastian's hearty proclamation across the table, "Finally, Miss Y/N Beaumont decided to grace us with her presence. Shall we feast?"
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Benedict sensed the undercurrent of nervous energy emanating from you throughout dinner, an unmistakable symptom of the growing anxiety regarding your upcoming debut at Queen Charlotte's ball. While the two of you had deliberately steered clear of discussions regarding the subject, it had become impossible to ignore Lady Whistledown's ever-growing excitement over the beginning of the season and of your debut in particular. Or rather, Benedict's siblings had made it impossible to ignore the gossip sheet's flattering words about his best friend. The delay of your coming-out year had caused quite a stir, and the mystery surrounding you had unexpectedly propelled you into the ton's spotlight. Nevertheless, Ben was aware of your mixed feelings toward the subject and was intentional in avoiding talks about marriage unless you brought them up. Dinner seemed to be going along effortlessly, with no substantial mention of the upcoming season, until he heard his mother addressing Anthony.
"My darling, isn't it high time you found a wife of your own? Aren't you lonely at all? Queen Charlotte's ball is in a week, and I would be delighted to acquaint you with this year's ladies of the ton!"
Turning to look at his brother's slightly panicked face, Benedict couldn't help but stifle a laugh at the mental image of his brother settling down in the coming weeks. "I would eventually like to, of course, but I've yet to feel the urgency. Still recovering from dealing with Simon and Daphne last year," Anthony jokingly responded, shooting a wink at the couple. With an evil grin, he turned to Alex and said, "But I'm sure Alexander would be interested, right?"
After almost choking on a forkful of pheasant, Alex swatted Anthony on the chest, earning a disapproving look from Lady Primrose. Scrambling for an answer that directed attention away from him, Alex quickly added, "No, no! I am quite alright, thank you very much. I think I would rather wait a couple of years and let Y/N have her unobstructed debut without the threat of her older brother scaring potential suitors away."
Just as Benedict saw Lady Primrose begin to speak, he subtly squeezed your hand under the table, hoping to provide some comfort to such a touchy subject. Oblivious to your nervousness, Lady Primrose said, "Why, Alex, that's quite considerate of you. And, Y/N, I'm thrilled about your coming out! After Daphne's season, I can't wait to see who you'll meet. Your father and I hope you find a match as splendid as Daphne and Simon did—or as we did. Truly, I hadn't expected that delaying your coming out would give you this much celebrity with Whistledown, but what a blessing it has been! You will be the belle of every ball, you lucky girl. Aren't you excited as well?"
Comforted by Ben's thumb rubbing soothingly over your hand, you regained your composure and turned to your mother with a poised smile, "Why yes, I am thrilled! The ball holds a certain air of mystery, doesn't it? I'm eager to see what unfolds next week." Effectively cutting the subject short, you turned to Cass and Eloise and quickly engaged them in conversation, diverting the focus from yourself. With the dining room transitioning into more relaxed chatter, everyone returning to their usual banter, Ben's hand tightened around yours, and in return, you responded with an equally tight squeeze. No words were necessary, each of you knowing the other well enough to wordlessly communicate your care for one another.
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You were comfortably full and sitting on a sofa in the sitting room, having migrated there after dinner. You could hear the many lively conversations simultaneously, filling the Beaumont household with warm energy. Currently, you were happily listening to Alex and Anthony chattering away, recounting a very entertaining story about their time at Oxford with Simon. Just then, Benedict approached the trio. His eyes locked onto yours, and you could spot a playful glimmer.
"Are you two terrorizing Miss Beaumont with your horror stories from Eton again? Please don't tell me you've told her about the time with the squirrel," Ben quipped.
"You offend me, brother. Of course we aren't recounting our time at Eton. Only our time at Oxford!" Anthony responded, earning a cheeky laugh and enthusiastic agreement from Alex. Eager to continue reminiscing and itching for another drink, Anthony and Alex walked away from the small gathering that had formed, allowing you and Ben a moment alone.
Sitting down next to you, Benedict teased you, "I'll have you know I'm still recovering from the shock of your win at Pall Mall earlier today. I fear my siblings will never let me live it down."
"Oh, shush! I beat you every time. At this rate, I'm surprised you still attempt to play," you managed to get out in between a fit of laughter, missing the fond look Benedict had sent you. But the lightness of the moment shifted when you settled down, glancing over at your best friend with a sober look. With sudden sincerity and a touch of vulnerability, you spoke lowly, "Oh, Ben, how am I ever going to survive my debut without you?"
His smile softened, hand reaching out for yours as he traced comforting patterns on your hand and replied, "You'll be absolutely fine on your own, I've no doubt. You always are. Besides, you might get to talk to more people if I'm not there anyway."
"I know. I'm just scared, I think. But it'll pass."
"Nothing to worry about, darling. You are smart and funny and a great dancer too, which is always essential at these events. The ton is in for a treat!"
"Ah, of course. I think I'm less scared about that aspect. I mean, Whistledown's said everyone's practically frothing at the mouth for me already, which I suppose is better than the alternative. At least in the beginning, it'll be new and exciting to go to all of these balls, meet new boys, and dance with them. And maybe I'll have callers, too, which sounds rather enchanting, doesn't it?" Your words danced in the air, a touch of excitement evident in your voice. Perhaps your mother's good spirits had rubbed off on you, too.
"Oh," Benedict strangled out, a very unpleasant twist in his gut as he heard you speak enthusiastically about being courted. A tad surprised by this feeling, Ben remained firm as ever in his friendship with you and attributed these uncomfortable feelings to the knowledge that you would now have less time to spend with him every day. How he would miss rambling about a particular artist or a painting he'd seen or listening to you talk endlessly about a character in a book you were reading.
"So, what truly worries you, then?"
As you nervously intertwined your fingers, your gaze drifted to your parents, Primrose and Frederick. Sitting side by side and holding hands while talking to Violet, they seemed so comfortable in the presence of each other, a vibrant picture of a happy marriage.
"I'm just fearful of disappointing Mum," you confessed. "She has such high expectations for me and my future marriage, especially with Daphne's season being as successful as it was last year. It doesn't help that my parents are sickeningly in love, either," you added with a small smile. "Mum is so blissful in her own marriage, and seeing that happiness for Daphne has fueled her hopes for me, which has just worsened the pressure. My parents want me to marry for love, but it seems impossible. I don't know. I suppose I'll see next week how challenging it will truly be."
Benedict offered a reassuring smile. "I know a thing or two about having parents who are sickeningly in love. I do understand the pressure you're feeling. It's a lot to have on your shoulders, especially for the whole season," he murmured, leaning over to place a gentle kiss on your forehead. "Our parents were quite lucky to fall in love and marry so quickly, but there's no rush for you to do the same."
With a playful glint in his eyes, he added, "Besides, I'd like to keep you to myself for a little while longer before the daily onslaught of callers comes, and I can barely get a word in."
Horrified, you gasped, "Daily?! Surely not. At least I hope not. Otherwise, I'd be dreadfully behind on my reading," prompting a warm laugh from your best friend beside you.
---
On the way back to the Bridgerton house, a stone's throw from the Beaumont home, Benedict and Colin found themselves walking alongside Hyacinth, their youngest sister, who at the present moment was, very excitedly and without pause, animatedly discussing her eagerness for the coming season.
"Oh, I might not be allowed at the balls just yet, but you must promise to tell me every single thing that happens while you're there. And yes, I am aware Lady Whisteldown will cover it all, but you're an even closer source, and I need all the information I can get. I need to know who wears the best gowns and has the finest dancing skills. What if someone stumbles while dancing! Oh, wouldn't that be amusing? You must inform me immediately if anyone falls down while dancing," she declared to her older brothers.
Amused, Ben played along. "Well, what precisely do you mean by immediately? Shall I leave and miss the rest of the evening to inform you? If I leave in the middle of a ball, I might miss more people falling."
Contemplating the scenario, Hyacinth fell silent for a moment. "What if you brought a small notebook to every ball and wrote down all the funny incidents that occurred? That way, nothing could escape your memory, and I would have a comprehensive account of the night."
Colin and Benedict promptly rejected the request, erupting into laughter. "You know these balls are all mostly the same, Hyacinth. Dreadfully boring after a while. Nothing of note happens, and if it does, I guarantee it'll be in Whistledown," Colin reassured his younger sister.
"You two are useless! You find it all dull because you attend so frequently. I've never gone to a ball!" she huffed, adding, "I'll just ask Y/N, then. I'm certain she'll be more sympathetic to my cause."
Drawing a smile from Benedict, he encouraged Hyacinth. "I'm sure she'd be happy to. I'm uncertain about the notebook, but I know she's far more observant of everyone's attire and dancing capabilities than Colin and I are."
Seemingly satisfied, Hyacinth declared, "Well, that's resolved then." Then, quickly returning to her previous excitement, she continued rambling. "I'm sure Y/N's buzzing about her debut next week. I know I would be, especially because everyone's so excited, too! Practically every column is about her these days. Have you two discussed it much, Ben? What has she said? Is she as excited as the rest of the ton? Do you know?"
"Oh, well, I don't really know too much. She's excited, to be sure, but I think her parents might have inadvertently put quite a lot of pressure on her, being quite as in love as they are. She feels a lot of weight on her shoulders to immediately find a love match," Ben said, adding with a teasing tone, "a feeling I'm sure you'll become familiar with when you come of age, Hyacinth."
Colin chimed in, taking advantage of every opportunity to make fun of his brother. "What did you say at the beginning there, Ben? 'I don't really know.' It sounded more like you knew quite a bit, actually."
Hyacinth, delighted that the teasing had shifted away from her, couldn't resist joining in. "Colin, Ben always knows when it comes to Y/N. We should all know this by now."
Benedict shot back jokingly, "It's rather unfortunate that neither of you have any friends, really. But alas, it explains a lot about your social skills." Laughing, he darted toward their front door before his siblings could retaliate.
But Hyacinth and Colin hung back. Tugging on his jacket sleeve, Hyacinth called Colin's attention. "I know Ben and Y/N are best friends and all, but I don't quite feel the same about Felicity, my best friend. I don't really understand why it's so different, though. Their dynamics just seem... different. I can't really explain it."
Colin fondly patted Hyacinth on the head. "I don't think they can really explain it either, to be honest. But I know what you mean. I'm not like that with Theo and Bastian. I used to see Mum and Dad interacting that way when I was younger. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens this season."
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