(for @what--the-helliot !!!)
Chris: —ly time I think I could ever recall the director, Ed Bye, saying, “Action!” [pause] “Cut!” Between those two words it went on a long time. But you know, Craig, it was like a train ride from Torquay to London — it’s never quite as long as you think it’s going to be.
Craig: I felt something nudging my leg while I was kissing you.
Chris: That’s what I’m saying, you’ve got it or you haven’t, baby.
Chris: I’ve never seen so many people in the studio. They came from everywhere —
Craig: This might be weird, but I quite enjoyed that scene. I did! We’re actors, you know what I mean — I’d never done anything like that before. You know, I really enjoyed the scene.
Chris: We both had about 30 polo mints each.
Craig: He had 30 polo mints, I had 20 marlboro!
Interviewer: I was wondering, because there was quite a hard cut when you guys get into it, but how much more…?
Craig: Oh, the kiss was a lot longer than they show, wasn’t it? We actually went at it hammer and tongs. We did! And they cut it really short, but it was a lot — it was a lot longer! And I felt a bit disappointed by that because it was quite a lengthy kiss.
Chris: They told us it was going to be used, and they didn’t use all of it, you know? That was disappointing. [He pauses] We, you know — look, we gave them the material.
Interviewer: How was the experience? Was it disappointing as well, or was it better than you expected?
Chris: I wanted it to go on longer.
Craig: I wish I could have.
Chris: Peaking a bit early, weren’t you?
Craig: As ever the comes of disappointment.
Interviewer: Is that what brought you back on the show?
Chris: I walked out of the studio and thought, “Where am I ever going to get kissed like that again? There’s only one man who can do it! More kissing scenes for Monsieur Rimmer.” [sarcastically] “Yeah, I’ll work on it for you, Chris.”
Craig: There’s probably a parallel universe where Rimmer and Lister are married.
Craig: There’s a universe where me and you are marred like… two old guys sat on a spaceship. And I’m not putting the dishes away, or I’m stacking the dishwasher wrong.
Chris: Dishwashers are overrated.
Interviewer: I was just wondering what role Kryten plays in your marriage?
Craig: Well, Kryten’s like my mum, isn’t he?
Interviewer: So would he be like a mother-in-law to Rimmer in this parallel universe?
Craig: Yeah, he would be like Rimmer’s mother-in-law… Well, let’s face it, Kryten doesn’t like Rimmer anyway.
Chris: I don’t like Kryten — well, Rimmer doesn’t like Kryten!
Craig: You think he’s jumped up, don’t you?
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