garbage words

[jammythedude]

Keep reading

[jammythedude]

Wow I posted this years ago and now everything is more or less awesome in my life glad I pulled through

[jammycooks]

Here’s a real-life recipe for Garlic Chicken Pizza from Yo-Kai Watch 3. It’s the second of a series on Yo-Kai Watch pizza. Recipe below! Watch live here.

For white sauce:

For starter:

½ cup water

1 ½ TBL cornstarch

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 ½ tsp garlic powder

Rest of the sauce:

1 can evaporated milk

Salt + pepper, to taste

Garlic chicken:

3 chicken thighs, chopped

1 TBL butter

1 TBL olive oil

1 ½ tsp garlic powder

3 cloves garlic, chopped

2 scallion whites

¼ cup water

Salt + pepper to taste

For Pizza:

1 pizza dough (recipe above)

Melted butter

White sauce

Garlic chicken

Shredded mozzarella and pepper jack cheese

2 scallion greens, chopped

For white sauce: In a small bowl, whisk together ¼ cup water and cornstarch. Set aside. In a small pot, place the rest of the water, garlic and garlic powder. Cook over medium heat stirring continually until about half the water is evaporated. Whisk in the evaporated milk. Then, whisk in the reserved cornstarch mixture. Bring to a boil.

Stir continually until sauce comes to a boil. Remove from heat. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Pour into a mason jar and allow to cool before lidding up storing in the fridge.

For garlic chicken: Place butter and olive oil in wide non-stick skillet set to medium-high. Add chicken all at once and add a few pinches of salt and pepper. Sprinkle on garlic powder. Fry until chicken is golden brown, about five minutes.

Add garlic and scallions and fry a few minutes more. Add water and scrape the bottom of the pan. Cook until chicken is cooked through and water has mostly evaporated. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Place in a bowl until ready to use.

To make a garlic chicken pizza: Preheat your oven as high as it goes. Place one pizza dough on an ovenproof surface. Brush both sides with melted butter. Spread on a few tablespoons of white sauce, leaving the crust exposed. Sprinkle on the cheese, top with garlic chicken pieces. Bake for 8-15 minutes or until the cheese is melted and crust is golden. Sprinkle on scallion greens and allow to cool slightly before slicing and eating.

[jammycooks]

☾ I’ve compiled all my Halloween themed recipes in one convenient video to watch at your own will. Convenient, no? Check it out here. ☾

[jammycooks]

How to make Apple Pies from Paper Mario, made with apples found in Lady Bow’s castle. Also: how to make Jammin Jelly, a spreadable apple jam that doesn’t taste like other nasty apple fillings. Watch it in action here.

Jammin Jelly:

1 TBL butter

2 TBL apple brandy, optional

1 cup apple beer or soda

¾ cup sugar

½ TBL lemon juice

½ tsp vanilla

Pinch of salt

For pies:

1 sheet puff pastry, thawed

1 egg

1 TBL milk

Jammin Jelly

For jammin jelly: In a medium pot, place apples, butter, apple soda, and apple brandy. Bring to a rolling boil. Cover, and cook on low for about 20-30 minutes or until apples are cooked through and soft.

Mash the apples or blend until smooth. Add sugar. Cook on medium-low heat, stirring all the while until mixture is reduced and thick, about 20 minutes. Add vanilla. Place in bowl and allow to come to room temp. Then, you can refrigerate until set, a few hours. I let it set overnight.

To assemble pies: Beat together your egg and milk in a small bowl. Set aside. Place one sheet of puff pastry on a lightly floured surface. Slice into nine equal squares. Repeat with your other sheet, so you have 18 squares.

Place six squares on a parchment lined sheet. Top each with a couple tablespoons of your jelly. Brush the edges of the bottom with egg wash, and top with another sheet. Slice Three slits on the top of the pie. Repeat with the rest. Place the pies in the fridge for 20 minutes.

Once pies are cool, bake in a 400 degree oven for 20-25 minutes or until pies are golden and risen. Allow to cool slightly before eating, I like mine at room temp.

Looking for more Paper Mario food? Check out my Spicy Soup

[jammycooks]

How to make Chocolate Bars from Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp without having to give up all your furniture to that greedy seagull Gulliver. Spoilers: this is also a great copycat recipe for Twix bars. Watch it in action here.

What you need:

Cookie layer:

Non-stick spray

1 ¼ cup flour

¼ cup sugar

Pinch of salt

1 stick butter, melted

Caramel layer:

1 15 oz. bag of caramels

1 TBL milk

Chocolate layer:

1 cup dark chocolate candy shells

Reserved cookie crumbs

Spray a brownie pan with no-stick spray. Then, line completely with aluminum foil. Set aside. In a large bowl, combine all ingredients from the cookie layer until a dough forms. Sprinkle pieces along the bottom of your brownie pan then press into place.

Dock the dough with a fork. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until lightly golden on top. While it’s still a little hot, press on it using a spatula to firm it up. Set aside to cool slightly.

In a medium bowl, add a bag’s worth of caramels. Add milk and microwave for 30 seconds at a time or until liquid. DON’T TOUCH. It will be hot. Carefully pour this on top of your cookie layer. Allow to cool completely.

Spray a serrated knife with no-stick spray. Slice your massive cookie into 16 bars. Place on a foil lined sheet with a rack. Place in the freezer for at least 20 minutes. Melt chocolate in a bowl for 30 seconds at a time until melted.

Carefully coat the top and sides of the chocolate. Sprinkle on reserved cookie crumbs. Serve immediately. Keep bars in the freezer to prevent them from melting.

Need more Animal Crossing eats: Campfire Pizza is a no-oven miracle!

[jammycooks]

The sweetest and most colorful burger in the Underground. Check it out in action here.

Burger buns:

½ cup milk

2 tsp yeast

1/3 cup sugar

1 TBL butter, melted

1 eggs

2 ½ cups bread flour

1 tsp salt

Glitter sugar, optional

Fillings:

Ice cream, gummies and other candies

In a small cup, mix yeast, milk and sugar. Allow yeast to get foamy, about five minutes. Then, whisk in purple gel color. Set aside.

In a food processor, place flour, egg, butter and salt. Pour in your purple yeast mixture. Pulse for a minute or two or until a dough forms. Knead into a ball and place in a large bowl. Allow to rise for an hour, or until doubled in size.

Divide the dough into 8 equal pieces. Roll each into a ball. Place each on a small square of parchment paper. Align four per layer in a bamboo steamer. Allow to rise until doubled in size, 30 minutes to an hour. Sprinkle with glitter sugar if you wish. Steam buns over boiling water for 15-20 minutes or until cooked. Allow to cool completely.

To make a Glamburger: Slice buns in half. Stuff with your favorite ice cream and candies. I use rainbow sherbet, Skittles and sour gummies. Serve immediately.

Got more Undertale cravings? Make Spider Donuts!

[jammythedude]

Good lord I just went on the best date of my life with a non-binary bombshell and am shaking and they’re shaking and all I see is possibility on the horizon.

So they’re probably gonna harvest my organs? Whatever, totally worth it.

[surreal--memes]

Surreal memes have reached the news

[toddreu-deactivated20191220]

@to-heck They probably looked at your blog minutes before writing up this article

[to-heck]

They didn’t mention the gay butts I had on there

[jammythedude]

Liz Bruenig is the best and is also my socialist catholic mom

[thorffour-deactivated20190920]

[blacckatemoss-deactivated202205]

a humanitarian

[x0atlantadelphia]

GOALS AF

[jammythedude]

marxist hero

[sorscia-deactivated20181114]

Some soft Jason for the soul 

[sendmethesea]

is that you @jammythedude ?

[jammythedude]

this is hella my aesthetic, you’re right to note sarah.

Gotta grow out my hair and get a sick mariachi jacket covered in roses. which would be perfect cuz of my latino heritage and obsession with Democratic Socialism.

[spikeasaur]

i didn’t realize marine le pen won the french election after all

[daggers-drawn]

France: *siphons huge “colonial debts” from the economies of North Africa*

French President, in the actual year 2017: “They’re doing badly because they’re savages.”

[glowysweetfab]

[nabyss]

Macron and Le Pen are two faces of the same shitty coin. One racism is direct while the second is hidden under a paternalist white supremacist view of the world.

[yemme]

Well… No more minerals for France!  Let your economy crumble.  Send Frances children to dig for your technology.

[sauvamente]

A white man being racist, groundbreaking 😒

[shallan]

right, like why are ya’ll surprised by white politicians being racist as hell lmao?

[gothhabiba]

I guess it’s cute & okay for a white person to call Africans savages as long as they’re a leftist & is attempting to satirise someone else @trashgender-neurotica

[jammythedude]

Yup. Neolibs will always break your heart.

I hated this shit dick from day 1 btw

[alicenthightower]

The Cast of ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ during the LA PRIDE Parade on Sunday, June 12th, aka ‘The Gang Supports Mac’. (x)

[theoppositeofadults]

I have no words

[jammythedude]

This post gave me cancer

[thisusedtoberum-deactivated2017]

The reddest of all flags ladies and gentlemen

[aswefollowthelights]

YIIIIIIIIKESSSSSSSS

[lizardtitties]

If your boyfriend, girlfriend, or even just an overly protective friend says anything like this to you in response to you going out, please dump them immediately. They will argue with you, they will be hurt that you don’t appreciate how much they care, they will have some reason you make them act like that, they may even have a sob story about being cheated on or having trust issues that makes you feel sorry for them or guilty. Don’t listen to any of it, and walk away immediately. They will absolutely go off the deep end and try to get you back with apologies and threats to you or themselves. Do not listen to it, tell people what’s going on, and cut off all contact. This is not loving, caring behaviour, this is dangerous manipulation.

[soleil-moon-bye]

DUMP HIM

[the-stray-liger]

“I don’t know why I’m allowing this” bc you’re not their fucking dad you ugly ass disgusting piece of shit. Dump their ass like, in a river, after beating them up with a crowbar. 

[lipstickmarks]

D U M P H I M

[yourbigsisnissi]

Run for the hills if their response to you when you go out is anything other than “have fun! Be safe!”

[jammythedude]

What a fucking trog

[swagintherain]

[ask-bot]

What’s the most ridiculous false rumor that has been spread about you?

[ofgeography]

i gave a talk at my middle school when i graduated from college and afterwards this girl came up to me with big wide eyes and said, “are you molly hall? the molly hall?” and i was like, “i am……a molly hall,” because that’s a fact that cannot be denied, and then she went, “is it true you once planted stinkbombs in all the lockers and is it true you refused to wear the dress code and is it true they tried to expel you but they couldn’t because they couldn’t ever prove it was you and is it true that when the principal found you wandering around the halls during class and asked you why you said HEY BUDDY MIND YOUR FUCKIN BUSINESS?”

and i had done literally exactly not one of those things and in fact not one of those things had been done by anybody, at all, while i was attending that school but u bet your sweet bippy i looked into that girls eyes and said, “yes i am absolutely that molly hall, and 100% i did all those things and i’d do them again, tell everybody.”

[jammythedude]

You were right to tag me in this

[slimetony]

[sarahshahipls]

I’m not sure what kind of luck the $115 frozen pizza badger is supposed to bring but I’m not taking any chances