J and the UK

This is the story of me going overseas alone for the first time... which leads me to moving to the UK. Watch out you'll laugh, you'll cry, it will be a dream come true (hopefully)

[jandtheuk]

Opera

For just over a week I worked on an Opera, I was an Assistant Stage Manager for a whole week. It was one of the hardest and most rewarding weeks of my life. I was so grateful for the experience and for the reminder, this is what I want to do with my life. I want to work together with a team of creatives and make something worthwhile. The curtain goes up, there is nothing more thrilling then that curtain. Live or die the show goes on, so you best hope you've got the nerve. I met some incredible people, some truly talented people, some hilarious people and some god awful people, takes all sorts to make a world and an Opera apparently. I felt amazing, like I was meant to be, being a stage manager feels like being a Discworld Witch, not always glamorous but you get the job done one way or another, you don’t do it for praise or recognition, you do the job that’s in front of you because it has to be done. If you are really good at it people wont even know you were there. But you leave a mark still, a word of encouragement here a sholder to cry on there, a creative solution to every problem. I felt so at home. I made lists and swept, listened to grievances and rants, I was a smile in a stressful room a joke in a tense moment, logic in a storm. I am the most me when I’m in a theatre, i feel real. I am good at my job and I love it. I am a Stage Manager and I will continue to work at it, I want my whole life to be in this theatre I want that feeling to stay. I want to belong and be needed and be helpful and be rational and listen and create and learn. This week was one of the best in my whole life, even when it was hard or frustrating I was still where I was meant to be. I fit. It’s about people, these were my kind of people, kind talented, funny, generous. It’s about telling a story well, telling an important story, using this platform to share. I am so grateful, I know my path... I just need to learn how to walk it.

[jandtheuk]

3 Years Ago

I first came to the UK 3 Years ago, the beginning of a love story. I knew then, driving on the ‘Tolkien roads’ that this is where I belonged. I only spent a few days in Glasgow but I fit... I met someone in London who had lived here for a few years and only had good things to say about it. He drew me a wee map and told me a few places to go. Mainly the top of Kelvingrove Park, which is truly beautiful. The West End of Glasgow is so pretty, but I kinda love where I live now, Inner South side. It’s the up and coming part of Glasgow, full of cafe’s and community spirit, mild crime but it’s mostly fine. I love living in Scotland, last week I just popped to Edinburgh for an art show. It’s so close to a whole other and very different city. 

Ever since I was a kid I have wanted to live overseas, probably because of my Gran. My Gran was born in England (thanks for this 5 year VISA) then grew up in Kenya, then did a year abroad in the US, then moved back to England for Uni, then moved to Canada when she me my Granddad, then moved to Australia to be near her parents (who have also lived everywhere).  So many  stories, from around the whole world. I used to think I would live in Canada, and I still might, Vancouver is a brilliant part of the world too.... There is just so much to see, I don’t really understand how anyone can sit still.

3 years ago was also my first solo international trip, it was scary but led me here, moving overseas solo is much scarier. I did it though, I knew I was going to, but it tool me a little longer then I would have liked, but maybe it was meant to. My life right at this moment it pretty great, I am working 2 jobs, about the ASM an Opera, i’m writing, learning and meeting some incredible humans. I feel so at home. 3 years ago I knew that I wanted this, but I didn’t know what it would look like, it probably wasn’t just like this, but Imma call it a success story for sure xxx 

[jandtheuk]

EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

I, as a Commonwealth Citizen who is a UK resident CAN VOTE in the upcoming General Election. I am extremely excited to try and help in this terrible political climate. I live in Scotland which is a pretty left wing. I am happy to try and fight the extreme right wing Westminster bastards. I didn’t think I would be able to vote, so this is very exciting. Finally a benefit of colonisation. At home I was so active in the political scene, I’d volunteer for The Australian Greens, handing out ‘How to vote’ cards on polling days. I was quite aware of policies and political platforms, and very angry and all the injustice in the system and the nonsense, also just angry at ‘One Nation’. I feel like a kid now, re learning political systems and understanding all the parties and learning about the good ones and the scary ones. There are more exciting left wing parties here which is a delightful change. My local seat of Glasgow Central doesn’t even have a Tory Candidate :D

I chose to live here, I really want it to work out x 

[jandtheuk]

I was afraid, I was afraid that I would feel painfully alone for my birthday. I would miss my family and friends which I did, but not the way I thought. I felt so loved, it was kind of overwhelming. 3 day birthday filled with drinks, laughs and cake. My Theatre friends came out strong, only the women strangely  my male friends were too busy :P ATG really stands for All Theatre Gals, according to the MIA Rollo. We drank for 12 hours, mostly in the same bar, I made a lil nest and let people come to me. I told my Australian friends this and they were all the same “Yeah you set up the place of birthday worship and wait for the subjects to come to you, why should you move on your birthday?” they get me, I’m also not paraphrasing at all... The amount of strangers that bought me drinks was astounding, and a nice reminder that I fit well in this Glasgow life. The navy even found us, 2 Submarin-ists (technical term) joined us and kept us hydrated, god bless America haha. 

We shared the deep shit and also talked complete shit.

 Then I even achieved a proper High Tea even though the hangover was understandably strong. I felt like such a fancy lady with fancy friends drinking the most tea I may have ever drank in a single siting, well it did say ‘unlimited tea’ I was just making sure. I have wanted to go to a proper High Tea since I moved to the UK but I could never justify the extravagant’s, until now :) 

I was grateful for a relaxed evening talking to Mum and Gran for my Australian Birthday #timedifferencesyo.

Work spoiled me rotten, I knew they would but I never thought they would create Australian classics for me, like party favourite Fairybread and a glorious Pavlova!! The place I work is just filled with the most incredible people, I am so grateful I found them and that they kept me xxxx 

My housemates spoiled me too, they were too sweet coordinating colours for my presents. Another brilliant cake :) The actual evening of my birthday was very relaxed, just some of my close friends and some take out... A slight debate about the amount of Nann bread I ordered, a lot of sass from cute people x Special mention to my incredible friend Vikki, she is literally the only reason I can be here. She came to all 3 days of birthday celebrations, she is a reminder that I’ll be alright. She is truly a spectacular human, ever inspiring. 

I spoke to some home people, and the internet did the rest. I missed them intensely but softly, I wasn’t overcome. I can miss them and love my people here in the same breath. My Nana FB called me and was so proud that she turned the video on herself, which was pretty adorable. My best friends sent me a hilarious photo slideshow which was everything!! My Mumma sent me a big package and we talked a bunch, it’s far from our first birthday apart. I’m grateful for our family birthday traditions, breakfast in bed and often more love then you could imagine. 

I have a bit of the 25 feels, thank god I’m here. If I were at home with no Uni no theatre and just plodding along in a job that was going nowhere I think I would lose my mind. At least I moved across the world, that’s a life achievement right? I hope so, I have yet to live all my dreams, but I feel like I’m in the spot to start. 

[jandtheuk]

I feel that it's not fair to miss anything or anyone. It was my choice to leave and I don't know if I'll ever want to go back. But I still miss it so much it hurts. Right now I miss sharing the comedy festival with my best friend. A person who thankfully wants to leave the party when I do, who doesn't mind how loud I laugh (which is good because she is hilarious and I laugh more with her then any comedian) someone ready to follow Wil Anderson down the street in broad daylight to see where he is going (Spoilers it was a pit of comedians) and joke too much about kidnapping him... Someone I am completely myself around, I can bitch and gossip with then also talk about the big stuff. Today I miss my best friend, even if I'm not allowed...

[jandtheuk]

These last few months have gone by in a blur, a happy fun blur for the most part. Lots of new work and volunteering for 2 film festivals, busy, busy. Most of it has been really fun, but a lot of stress as well. I am on the job hunt yet again, which is stressful and even though I knew I didn’t want to stay anywhere too long it’s a hard reality to jump and hope every 5 minutes. I also got a bit attached to my most recent work folk, they are all really good people (maybe the charity sector has something to do with that). 

The Film Festivals were a welcome change while I waiting to start back at the Theatre. During Glasgow Film Fest I was lucky to take part in 2 big special events, the secret location Lost Boys event ( MnD’s Scottish theme park) This was such a unexpected delight, the theme park was just open for us (me and 400 guests) free rides, face painting everything very in theme *note one of the creepiest things in this world is a theme park at night, most of the rides were off and eerie as fuck! I also got to share this cult classic with my friend Rollo (Pictured) who is the reason I was there at all :)  The next special event was a screening of perhaps my favourite film ‘The Princess Bride’ There were themed cocktails and a quest where I played the 6 fingered man! In both cases the best part was sitting with so many others who share the love, who are all bond by nostalgia, it brought such an incredible energy to the room ( maybe that’s what religion is like).... The Short Film Festival came only weeks later where I played more of an organisation role, I liaised with the guests of the festival. I also guided nearly 200 people in the rain with my rainbow umbrella for  ‘A wall is a screen’ event which was so much fun! We walked around the city and projected short films on walls, car parks, pubs, and storage containers. Throughout both of these festivals the highlights were the same, seeing films I would not normally see, sharing experiences and most of all meeting such brilliant people! People who are now my friends :) 

Over these last few months I have met truly incredible people, I am grateful that a good chunk of them like me too :P My theatre job threw a Scottish Ceilidh dance for us (Pictured pose at the top) which was an absolute thrill! Also exhausting and sweaty, but a lot of fun. My friend Adam taught me everything I now know (still not a lot) he was so lovely on the night, I think he danced with everyone. This night was a perfectly timed reminder that I am where I am meant to be. Scotland has such connection through tradition and community, I am part of that now. I feel that I’m starting to fit here, which is such a restful feeling. I’m still miles away from a lot of my goals but I feel like I’ll have the support to reach them. Money is still my biggest fear... but in theory that will pass in time or I’ll get better and handling that stress. 

[jandtheuk]

So it’s 20 days into 2017 and I am obviously maintaining my Blog writing routine. Today is my Best friends birthday, it’s a hard day to be away. I love Birthdays, and I always try to make my friends birthdays fun, I make a cake if I can. I sent her lots a pictures of us looking cute, sent her so many snap chats and some messages on multiple platforms. Today reminded me how selfish this move has been. I left people who love me, I love them too but I have new shiny things and people. I’m not there for them anymore, well not in the same way. I’m not in the same house where I could tell how she was feeling with just a look. My cousin can’t just pop round for a cuppa after work and tell me all the things. I can’t hug anyone. Mum told me about dream where she was trying to find me just to hug me, it nearly broke my heart.

Sometimes I feel my social life now semi reflects when I was 19 and moved into an apartment in the city (Melbourne), I don’t know many people and no one really cares about me much. Glasgow however is an improvement, as I get to be a fun foreign person, also I’m 24 and a lot more comfortable in myself. I am really trying to make connections with people, however as my Theatre work is done for the month I am really missing those guys. I’m getting along with my housemates, this morning I eves dropped one of them listening to ‘My fav Murder’ podcast which i was also listening too. Also I helped my other housemate make his desk today so I think I’m doing alright there.

My beautiful Friend Vikki bailed me out today, as my new job will be paying me on Fridays and not next Monday like I thought. She has really done so much for me, any success I make I owe to her. I am baking her a Red Velvet cake tomorrow for a belated birthday celebration.  

I am working on my Audition for the Scottish Youth National Ensemble. I am learning Nina’s final monologue from the Seagull as well as Ursela’s ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’. I’m still waiting for a quote that they are providing that I have to write an monologue from. However even if this doesn’t go anywhere I think its a good exercise. Hopefully I’m having a pre production meeting with this guy who wants my help to make a lil play as well :D

[harrypotterhousequotes]

GRYFFINDOR: “I sat a long time, unwilling to go; but my unfinished story urged me on. I must act and wander.” -George MacDonald (Phantastes: A Faerie Romance)

[jandtheuk]

Edinburgh Christmas Market! Classic Glasgow cone head :P

[jandtheuk]

I’m alright...

I think I am getting there, I’m settling into work and unpacking in my new flat. I’m making some friends which is nice, it’s always a little hard trying to figure new people out and also appear appealing at the same time. I am working on it.  It’s a relief how easy it is with my new housemates, they are lovely. I still don’t know how I’m going to achieve all I want from this, but I think I have to try and be in the present and enjoy where I am (easier said then done).

Money has been a bit scary, I get paid soon which should alleviate some pressure. Next month will be a better pay however...I will have to make it stretch. In saying that I haven’t been paid since September so I have really made my savings work for me. 

I feel like I belong more, maybe it’s the flat, having an address. I live here now. I vaguely know how to get around, I have a monthly bus ticket on my phone which is super convenient (unless my phone dies, which has not happened yet). 

I weirdly enjoy being the token Australian, even though I don’t often feel that Australian. The other night I was the judge of an accent off at work which was hilarious. It’s kinda nice to be defined by my Nationality rather then my size/body shape ( which is an odd reflection) 

I’m feeling positive, I don’t know what’s next but I am gonna come at it head on and arms wide :) 

[jandtheuk]

London, Glasgow, Oban, Loch Lomond... Squirrel.

[jandtheuk]

Avoiding Reality

I have been avoiding this, coming here, writing about how I feel, how it’s all going. Avoiding making it really real, avoiding talking about the hard stuff. Saying out loud how scared I still am. Even though I’m here now, I’m in Scotland, 2 and a half weeks now. When I was still in England all I wanted was to get to Scotland, to just get up and start this next chapter of my life. I was still having a great time in England with my friend and family, but I was on holiday from my future. Now I’m here. Why do I not have it all sorted yet? Why I haven't I met more theatre people yet? Why did I write an expression of interest for volunteering and not send it? Fear of failure? Fear of success? I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss knowing more then 2 people in the city i’m in. But god am I grateful for those 2 friends! They make so much of this shiny and fun. I am getting better at casual messenger-ing with people I used to talk to daily, Skype could be better at it’s one job but I’m getting the hang of it now.  But it’s hard. I have to meet new people and try to let them know how brilliant I am without seeming like an up myself twat. Alternatively, I hang about people until they realise my wonder organically, but that tends to take longer. Yesterday I labeled myself as a ‘Freelance Stage Manager’ for the first time, so I guess that’s a good sign. Saying it out loud should make it happen, I guess... I have to send the emails. What if I don’t have a certain set of skills (I am not Liam Neeson)? I have been cooking and cleaning (mostly cooking) to try and feel less like a burden on my friends. It’s also a great distraction and a way to feel you haven’t completely wasted a day “Well I made us all this hearty meal”. I have been trying to avoid day time television as it feels like the first step to total failure, therefore audio books and podcasts are my main entertainment. I like my Australian Podcasts they make me feel a bit closer. I downloaded  6 Shakespeare radio plays (because my new Shakespeare forum event I joined made me realise that I am a Shakespeare fraud) I have not felt the urge to listen to them yet... Proving the point that I am a terrible Shakespeare fan. I am attempting to learn a Monologue for the next meet up, however that may just shine a light on my lack of acting ability as an adult. I have loved my road trips with Vikki, we have these big beautiful honest chats, that remind me why we are friends and that she may still like me. They also make me feel like a tourist which is much easier. Beautiful Oban, ancient Edinburgh, breathtaking Loch Lomond. I have applied for part time receptionist jobs, for some kinda income, and something to do. However I am still waiting on my NIN which means I can’t really work, I have had to postponed two interviews as they apparently can’t go ahead until I have it. Why hasn’t the blood bank gotten back to me about donating? I am unsure how desperate they are. Maybe I’ll just go in. It’s not all bad, I have met people, I will keep meeting people. I plan to go to the local Comedy room which should reinvigorate my spirits, maybe I can stalk Daniel Sloss, you never know your luck. I have to keep moving, like a timid theatre Australian shark. On that note I have never felt so Australian, sometimes it’s odd as I don’t normally identify as Australasian. But other times it’s pretty alright as I’m not that big girl, I’m that Australian girl, it’s now my main point of difference which I can live with. If Australia can stop fucking everything up. Hmmm this has been a complete stream of conciseness, I hope you can keep up... I’m glad I finally wrote it down. HI REALITY!   

[jandtheuk]

I was listening to the Sound of Music soundtrack because i missed my mum.... It's her favourite childhood movie, and I was thinking about all the big well known songs and completely forgot about this. Today being the day I move to another country with a 5 year Visa and a hella lot of unknown ahead I found it really helpful xo Lyrics: What will this day be like? I wonder What will my future be? I wonder It could be so exciting To be out in the world To be free My heart should be wildly rejoicing Oh whats the matter with me? I've always longed for adventure To do the things I've never dared Now here i'm facing adventure Then why am I so scared? A Captain with seven children Whats so fearsome about that? Oh I must stop all these doubts All these worries If I don't i just know i'll turn back I must dream of the things I am seeking I am seeking the courage I lack The courage to serve them with reliance Face my mistakes without defiance Show them I'm worthy And while I show them I'll show me! So! Let them bring on all their problems I'll do better than my best I have confidence They'll put me to the test But I'll make them see I have confidence in me Somehow I will impress them I will be firm but kind And all those children Heaven bless them They will look up to me And mind me With each step I am more certain Everything will turn out fine I have confidence the world can all be mine They'll have to agree I have confidence in me I have confidence in sunshine I have confidence in rain I have confidence that spring will come again Besides what you see I have confidence in me! Strength doesn't lie in numbers Strength doesn't lie in wealth Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumber When you wake up Wake up! It's healthy! All I trust I give my heart to All I trust becomes my own I have confidence In confidence alone Oh help I have confidence in confidence alone! Besides Which you see I have confidence In me!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jasmineclindemann]

Its go time! These last few weeks have gone by in a blast. These last days have been full of love, food and sleep deprivation.

Leaving my family and my best friends was the hardest thing I’ve ever done… There is nothing good about a goodbye it’s very poorly named ritual. I was serving ugly crying left, right and center. I know it’s the right thing, it’s not easy but it’s right.

I love you and I like you all xo

[jandtheuk]

What excites me about moving to the UK

Seeing my Friends and Family 

CREAM TEA

Theatre - Seeing and working in

Snow

New People 

New Places

Good Public Transport 

Being Creative 

Having different jobs

Travel 

Wifi

Living simpler ( less stuff more experience) 

[jandtheuk]

27th of September

One day i’ll fly away, leave all this to yesterday... That day is the 27th of September 2016! I have finally booking my ticket and i really feel like this dream is becoming a reality.  Work has kinda offered me a job finally, which is actually a little annoying. They kept telling me that the opportunity was getting pushed back and would perhaps not happen at all.  I changed my focus towards moving to Glasgow, I had to, i couldn’t lose momentum. Glasgow was always my second option if my company let me down. However I was getting quite excited about the prospect of living with a good friend, living a different kind of life. Working part time, working on arts projects, really delving into Scotland. 

It will be easier to start in London, to have a guaranteed job, i have less fear associated with it. I can volunteer for the Globe theatre and maybe learn more about stage management before I try to work my Australian ‘give it a go method’. I feel like i’m letting my friend down and perhaps letting myself down. And yet it feels idiotic to turn down a job, something to get me started in a brand new world. Even if its just for six months, i will still have 4.5 years left to move to Scotland or Cardiff or wherever else i end up. The uncertain is by far the scariest thing. i have to face it. i have to make some hard choices, i have to be smart but not too pragmatic that i forget to live.  This is an incredible opportunity that i have made for myself, i best not take it for granted. I have booked my flight. Now for the next step... 

[jandtheuk]

2016! I’m on my way

This is the year i move to the UK, its finally here. Its still about 6 months away, but its happening! I did the boring but important parts, i got my new loan to consolidate all the things. I have a nice new savings account that i need at least 5k in for my Visa. I have to do some more overtime, i think its still a better idea then getting a second job... 

It’s exciting yet scary that the time has nearly come. I also get waves of sadness, the prospect of leaving my friends my family is less then fun. 

I want to make all these plans, but sometimes I have a nagging bit of doubt... It’s normal to not feel a hundred 100% until my Visa is approved and i have a plane ticket. However I know i will do this, i have to do this. I’m moving to the UK this year, London or Glasgow it will be amazing. 

I cannot wait, yet i’m really enjoying all the little moments, breakfast with my mum, road trips with my friends, spooning with the puppy. I think its important to be really present to these moments, to appreciate all the wonderful people in my world. I have to go, i need to learn and live theatre and that story starts in the UK. 

UK here i come, watch out!