janneloveyou💕

An ISFJ, Freethinker, Philomath & a Crackpot. These are my random thoughts. Let's talk. Ask me anything.  IG: @janneloveyou

[jannelei]

When in New York City 💘

[jannelei]

California 🌴☀️💘

[jannelei]

home for the holidays ♥️ #2021

[jannelei]

Stargazer💫

I am a stargazer

I try to perceive the unknown

Like the beautiful stars in the night sky

Filled with mystery and beauty

I try to fathom every part of you

Every time I look at the night sky

We are so close yet so far apart

Oh how I missed you dearly

I yearn to be your succor

Whenever you are dejected

And as the morning sun is rising

[jannelei]

You’re my star. Invincible, haunting and far.

[jannelei]

Unsent Letter 📝

I hope you’ll let go of the negative feelings and emotions associated with whatever happened. But thanks for giving me the opportunity to tell you I was sorry. I hope we can still be friends, but maybe not for a long time.

[jannelei]

You 🍃

I hope that you think of me every once in a while, and when you do, I hope they are good thoughts.

[jannelei]

Life.

“Listen to your life. All moments are key moments.” 

- Frederick Buechner

Evaluation - last step of the nursing process. Be honest with yourself. When was the last time you sat and just had a real, live conversation with someone else, in which you took turns and genuinely listened to what they said? No devices. No anything. No distractions.

Brb trying to evaluate myself. :D

[jannelei]

Dreams

The world doesn't care about your dreams.

So if you’re going to get where you want to go, you're going to be the one who cares greatly about it.

NO ONE is going to care about it as much as you. You've got to prioritize that dream. You have to focus and execute consistently on it everyday. There’s no other way.

If your dream happens, it’s because you made it important enough in your life. <3 

[jannelei]

Hiatus

4:00 PM 020819.

“All the people who ever meant something so precious to me aren’t in my life anymore. They aren’t even accessible. I have to go everyday without contacting them even though everyday they are on my mind without fail. I’ve had so many fall outs and I guess it’s because I just can’t tolerate the whole HI-HOW ARE YOU-BYE with someone who I would discuss my dreams with and fight my nightmares with the help of. I can’t do that.

So I think about you every single day but NO, I am not going to call you, or text you. I’m just going to hope that someday, I can finally not think about you, because that day you would have finally left my heart.”

[jannelei]

What Matters

As I sit on the four corners of my station, sipping water, and waiting for a call from the earliest possible patient, I started asking myself, "Am I living the life that I really wanted?" and then I started writing.

Four years of my life I have dedicated my time working for a company which I can say one of the best based on it's rank on the Fortune 500 companies. Here I am trying to evaluate myself, an ordinary person who works a typical 9 hour work day shift, 5 days per week.

Prior to this job that I am in, I was at the idea of operating at the top of my license. Practicing my nursing career to the full extent. I was very busy at the time due to the demands of my job. Sometimes I work 16 hours to cover a co-worker's shift, only allowed 1 off day per week and if I get lucky, they take it away from me due to poor staffing. It was very tiring. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. I provided care selflessly, I gave up my time and spent my weekends for patients - people I don't even know personally and most of all, I gave up my time for myself. That moment, I knew it was time to quit my job.

Looking back made me realize how I wanted the life that I am living now. I have learned the art of prioritizing myself without being selfish. I have learned how to live independently. Life is always progressing and moving forward. You will be given many lessons which will challenge you to know yourself and oftentimes it's painful. You are the one who is making decisions as to who, where, when, what and how to spend your life. You, alone, are in complete control of your life.

[jannelei]

Words That Will Give You Guts!

As a millennial struggling to survive the challenges of everyday life, the constant FOMO feels from the use of social media, the demands and judgement of the people that surrounds you.  Here are the words that keeps me in touch with what’s important.

You are not your job.

You are not how much money you have in the bank.

You are not the car you drive.

You are not the contents of your wallet.

You are not the assets that you own.

Are you defined by these stuff??? Do not let them own you to the point that you can’t live the life that you want to live and do the things that you want to do.

Be carefree. Dig deeper. Continue to evolve in what you believe in. Mold your life into what you want it to be -- there will be times that it will not be perfect, but overtime it will refine and reshape your reality. <3

[jannelei]

5 AM thoughts 💭

It gets me through the bad times- knowing that someone else is probably also depressed and alone. Or like, say I'm looking at the moon, I imagine some other lonely soul staring at it far away from me, and we kind of connect. Then I realize it's all in my head and I'm hopeless.

[jannelei]

When Quarter Life Hits...

So I woke up from my uninterrupted, satisfying 10-hour-sleep feeling weepy and got nothing to do since it’s 3:00 in the morning and I don’t expect anybody awake at the moment. So I thought about writing something and cross off some of my to-do-list this year.

 (Lemme share this 3am song that I really like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPMFAbhlDbU) 

While I was browsing through social media, I saw a friend re-posting about 20’s being the most selfish years. I have seen a lot of this. We’ve all used this as a motto when buying another item on sale at the mall, or getting that best pair of shoe that we’ve been eyeing for weeks. What they haven’t mentioned on these articles was that our twenties are also a period of our lives where we can’t be that “selfish” because we haven’t got any of that drug money (which I don’t do/get) to do anything we want, to travel, buy our dream car and all the luxuries in life because we still have our internet bills, cars and rent to pay for. Nobody mentioned that.

Here I am trying to stay above the water and kind of want to live the old way. I have watched them all on social media one by one, friends getting engaged, stepping up and getting promoted to their jobs, travelling on the other side of the world which heightens the comparisons and feelings of failure. As much as I love the internet, I am also aware that I highlight the brightest and amazing moments captioned parts of my life like most people do.

I’ve been talking to friends who go through exactly the same thing and it makes it lighter because you’ll realize that you are not alone at this stage of your life. Going out and grabbing some coffee or pizza makes it fun. It’s not the end of the world. The good news is we define our own happiness and success no matter how extravagant or simple it is. The only fear that I have right now is missing out or what they call FOMO which leaves my mind one question. Is giving up social media the answer?

Let me know your thoughts!

[cynthiatingo]

These are the days when I drown from my own self-doubt, and I choke from my own sad tears.

cynthia go // Mood (via cynthiatingo)

[jannelei]

27 Things To Do Before I Turn 27

I just turned 26 last month and realized that I am officially getting into that ripe old age. 26 made me feel I’m officially old. So I’ve listed 27 things for me to accomplish before I turn 27 and decided to make a list every year. 

**See below**

Photo of me taken from Plantation Bay in Cebu City, Philippines.

So here are 27 things I need to cross off the list:

 Start a blog. I’ve always wanted to have one. So here.

Go out of the country for 2018. I haven't been able to travel out of the country this year because I don’t have anybody to travel with. I’m scared of getting lost because I am not good with directions. lol

Read a book alone in a cafe. 

Work out at least 3 times a week. I still haven't reached my goal body.

Travel alone. I have tried it locally. But still, I don’t have the courage to do it out of the country.

Learn a new language. Spanish and French language are on my list.

Join a club or an organization. 

Run a marathon. 

Go shooting.

Start a profitable business. 

Lean how to surf.

Sleep better. It’s always a struggle for me to sleep during work days. My goal is to have 6-8 hours.

Study something. Not only the knowledge base for my nursing practice but anything under the sun will do. It’s great to feel like your mind is enlightened in some way.

Start knitting again. I haven't knitted for quite a while. They say this is a must-have life skill. 

Spend a weekend away from technology. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

Try a new scent. For about 4 years, bombshell has been my go-to scent.This is my signature fragrance. I think this will be one of the difficult things to cross out on my list.

Better myself.

Write a letter to someone. I can’t even remember the last time I did this.

Learn to say no. I’ve always felt like a “yes” person.

Stop worrying about things I can’t change. Yes, this sounds crazy but I am a worrier.

Make a new friend. Making new friends as an adult is surprisingly difficult. I hope in the next few months I will connect with someone on a level where we will be friends for a very long time.

Binge watch on Netflix. I always end up falling asleep when I start a new series on netflix. :(

Eat whatever I want and not feel bad about it. Burger, fries and milkshake suddenly pop into my head.

Learn to love my skin without makeup on. I love make up but I am slowly trying to make peace with my body image.

Try wearing heels. Since all of the shoes I own are flats.

See my favorite artist perform live. I had fun watching the script perform live. I still hope I could watch The Ellen Show soon.

Remember that life goes on. :)

[charlotteromance-blog]

[jannelei]

Could even make that Tiffany jealous. ✨