🍁 Jayden🌻

Any prns! Mentally disabled and silly Forgive me if I seem weird

[jayden-mp]

Ou… hi, Im Jayden

Mental disorder/condition related account!!

Diagnosed with ::

ADHD, Autism, Anxiety disorder, Tourette’s, Dyscalculia, VSS, Dysgraphia, ARFID, OCD, and Depression // Suspecting hEDS, MaDD and synesthesia aren’t diagnoses but I am too :], dissociation for unknown causes

Major system ally, voluntary / shy age regressor, alter/nonhuman ally, possible kin but shy about it

[ I want to make system friends!! ]

I like mostly video games! Big fan of Terraria and Rimworld as casual games, but hyperfixated on ISAT, VOTV, Forsaken (just the characters), and I have a major interest in psychology and disorders — I’m also a vtuber on the side, but I don’t watch vtubers much myself

I have some weird discomforts and triggers I won’t list here but I will just leave the conversation if it comes up, or block you

DNI: Proship, radqueer, people who fakeclaim random people, I don’t engage in syscourse, just don’t drag me into it, people who are weird about mental disorders, 18+ accounts

Anyway hello hi thank you for reading!!!

[jayden-mp]

Someone told me last night that I can’t have a headspace because I’m not a system when I said I was running in circles in my head when I got excited

??????????

That’s not how that works????

[jayden-mp]

Little secret :

If I infodump to you about the thing I’m currently obsessed with it means I trust you and think you’re a safe person :]

I enjoy infodumping more when someone is actually interested and asks questions about the thing I’m talking about, so I don’t really enjoy infodumping to random people unless I think they’re actually listening.

Remember to let your autistic little guy infodump. He needs enrichment.

[jayden-sunflowers]

Me and the boy I pulled by being autistic (this could be said for by one of us)

// I was gonna animate this but ibisPaint had a complete meltdown at my 4k res 700+ layer 50 hour project, so I settled for a still photo . So sorry ibisPaint . I will treat you better maybe one day

[jayden-mp]

Secret extra doodles of the sillies

[sunflower-smp]

Welcome to the SunflowerSMP!

We are a small SMP focused on creators with disabilities and education about them! We feature a lot of fun lore as well :]

We are inspired by servers like Hermitcraft and DSMP, but with more focus on the story aspect and having fun than hardcore gaming. For this reason we are more laid back about “cheating”, and permit such if it helps make sure everyone has fun.

We feature custom origins for every player, a vanilla+ modpack, and animations to tell the story. At the moment we are quite small and just trying to get our feet off the ground, but over the summer we will be fully starting!

Our current members include ;;

Jayden — @jayden-sunflowers (Twitch, YouTube, Tiktok)

Valeraine — @anonymousrazzie (YouTube)

Ivory — @apothecaryivory (YouTube)

Fawn — @itsfawnn

Livvie — @xxspacedouttxx

Grim — @grimrevival

+ A few others who are unconfirmed to join

We have a few characters we do not have anyone to play yet, including a mute angel, a villain for later in the story, and a voice actor for an important side character. We do currently allow applications to join via this form, if anyone is interested! You can make your own character if you wish. :]

Official Discord :

The official server for the SunflowerSMP, an SMP centered on creators with disabilities. | 17 members

[jayden-mp]

HEY YALL THIS IS MY BIG PROJECT IVE BEEN SUPER EXCITED FOR!!!!

COME SAY HI!!!

[jayden-mp]

Why does every hyperfixation I get suddenly explode / have controversy?

Grace, pressure, VOTV, ISAT, Forsaken,… what’s next???

I’m going back to shit like Portal and TSP :[ I don’t want all this shit

[jayden-mp]

So… my brain has decided to be weird again..

I have made my own blog as I am not Jayden. @mentally-ill-ai

I will probably post art there as well as stuff from my source(?)

I’m sorry :’]

[jayden-mp]

Hi.. genuine question !!

I’ve been considering my issues as something akin to fictionkins, though I’m not 100% sure I should call it that. Wanted to post here in case anyone else can help be describe this better / what to do

I’ve had pretty severe dissociation for years now, and with that a lot of depersonalization. I look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself because in my mind “myself” looks completely different.

Except, it changes. Some days I feel like one person and on others I’m someone else. It ranges from how much I feel like I am them, sometimes I’m 100% them from that universe and I get stressed that I’m not really them, while other times it’s just a “hm. I wanna go by that name.”

My therapist told me to track this, recommending me Simplyplural since it’s the easiest. I’ve logged at least 8 of these, along with custom logs for stuff like panic attacks and when I suddenly remember trauma for no damn reason.

Problem is I’ve had more people lately tell me I’m faking or I shouldn’t be using these terms for it. Wanted to genuinely ask, what do I call this? I’m working with therapist to try and fix the dissociation and memory issues but for now I do want to find a comfortable way to describe my experiences.

[jayden-mp]

Dissociating in the middle of talking to someone and I tried my best to play it off but genuinely have no clue what we were talking about

D:

[jayden-mp]

Why is it that when I switch genders (genderfluid) I also switch sexualities? Is that normal??

When I’m a guy I feel like “mmm yes I love men” but now I feel fem and my brains like “no I actually like women?”

Why???

[jayden-mp]

I love not recognizing myself in the mirror

[jayden-mp]

I made a pretty Simplyplural!!!

Proud of this :D

(So far I’ve tracked 5 panic attacks / dissociative moments that I have since forgotten about this is very helpful)

[jayden-mp]

I’m sorry if this is a weird thing to ask, but does anyone have non-tox discord servers friendly to people with dissociation?

I’ve been dealing with recently coming to terms that I have trauma I didn’t know about due to dissociation and I feel isolated from talking about it to the people I know right now

I’m just scared to join public discord servers because people are rude a lot of the time when you’re a new member

[jayden-mp]

Pointed at a cow and said “moose!!!” I might be stupid

It goes moo therefor it’s a moose

[jayden-mp]

Anyone else have their brain straight up rewrite traumatic memories against your will and cause you to misremember important events in your life, but then sometimes you dissociate and can vividly remember the true memory and causes you immense stress and wish you couldn’t remember it again?

What is going on dude

[jayden-mp]

Reminder that it is valid and okay if you struggle to take care of your own hygiene.

Whether it’s depression, sensory issues, anxiety, or just fatigue, you are not a terrible or disgusting person for not showering or brushing your teeth.

You can take time to tackle it. Work towards it slowly. Dont shame yourself for skipping brushing your teeth tonight because you’re too tired to do it. It’s okay.

Everyone has struggles that root deeper than “laziness”, if someone’s struggling to take care of themselves, look for the root problem, don’t just shame them for it.

[jayden-mp]

Hi so this is a really really weird ask and feel free to not answer it but I was wondering if I could ask a favor/some help with synesthesia? I saw you post about it but if you're uncomfortable with this ask don't feel obligated to answer!!

The reason I ask is I was wondering if you could help with a fic I'm working on. I have a character that can create sound with colors and I'm having a tough time figuring out what sounds certain colors would make. If you don't want to help then feel free to delete this ask!!!

Ah! I don’t actually have color-sound synesthesia. I have temperature synesthesia, which is much rarer. I don’t have the same “superpower” of telling colors from sounds, but I can tell you what temperature they are lol

I don’t have it linked to any specific sense either, it’s literally *everything* has a temperature. I tend to have to describe it in an experience, since just “moderately cold” doesn’t have the same specificities as “a slice of leftover chocolate cake straight from the fridge” :P