"Jayze"

he/him unfortunately french https://mndvx.tumblr.com/

[dans-queer-ass]

my childhood in a post tbh

[fourdrinkamy]

me hitting the submit button on an essay, knowing that it’s nonsensical garbage, to an academic who has dedicated his life to this field

[dankmemeuniversity]

[klapollo]

guy fieri’s flagship show is all about him going to underappreciated family-owned restaurants, praising their work and bringing them nationwide positive attention and business. he openly supports lgbt people like his sister and frequently has gay chefs on his grocery games competition, including ones revolving around relationships and family. he donates all of the non-perishable food from grocery games to food banks and advocates for fighting hunger. he goes to parts of the country where natural disasters have hit and hosts big events where he cooks for and feeds the victims. he has a legitimately funny sense of humor on his shows and is generally said to be a really nice person. he loves his son and has done whole television specials about taking him along on trips having once-in-a-lifetime experiences together. he might look goofy but that man does things that nourish the SOUL and u cant put frosted spikes on THAT

[veryfunnymemes]

[af-hverju]

me: why are you destroying earth!!!

aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak

me: thats fair i understand

[nerdypersonwithwings]

For some reason I find this all the more amusing because it’s written in English

[af-hverju]

moi: pourquoi vous détruisez le monde!!! l'extraterrestre: parce que il y a des gens qui pensent que l'anglais est le seule langue pour parler moi: ah ça c'est bien

[languageoclock]

ich: warum zerstört ihr die erde!!!

aliens: weil es leute gibt die glauben dass englisch die einzige sprache ist die sie sprechen müssen

ich: das ist fair ich verstehe

[sprachtraeume]

ég: af hverju eyðileggið þið jörðina!!! aliens: af því að það er fólk sem finnst að enska sé sú eina tungumál sem þau þurfa að tala ég: oh, það er vit í þessu. ég skil.

[pory-gon-2]

ik: waarom vernietig je de aarde!!!

aliens: omdat er mensen zijn die denken dat engels de enige taal is die ze hoeven te spreken

ik: oh zo, ik snap het

[perilegs]

minä: miks te tuhootte maapalloo?

alienit: koska tääl on ihmisiä joitten mielestä englanti on ainoo kieli jota niitten täytyy puhua

minä: toi on reilua, ymmärrän

[polyglottica]

私: どうして地球を滅ぼしているんですか？

宇宙人: 英語しか喋る必要がないと思う人がいるからです

私: なるほど、わかりました

[lingumaniac]

me: Wosück maakt ji de Welt twei!!!

aliens: wieldat dat Lüüd gifft, de dinkt dat Engelsch de allenige Spraak weer, de een snacken mütt

me: jo, daar seggst wat. Nu versta ik’t

[somalang]

aniga: dhulka maxaad u burburinaya !!!

shisheeyaha: dadka intiisa badani u malaynayaan in Ingiriisidu tahay afka oo kaliya ay u baahan yihiin inay la hadlaan

aniga: waxaan fahamsanahay. waa wax cadaalad

[zhanaform]

我：你们为什么在毁灭地球?！！

外星人：因为有人以为他们只会英语就可以了

我：懂了，说得有道理

[natsui]

ako: bakit niyo sinisira ang mundo!!!

taga-ibang planeta: kasi merong mga taong akala nila Ingles lang ang kailangan nilang matutunang lenggwahe

ako: ah, sige naiintindihan ko

[katsudonski]

Aku : kenapa kau hancurkan bumi!!! Alien : karena masih banyak orang berpikir hanya bahasa inggris satu-satunya bahasa yang terpenting Aku : oh, oke lah..

[belisencia]

tôi: tại sao các người hủy diệt trái đất!!! người ngoài hành tinh: bởi vì có người nghĩ rằng tiếng Anh là thứ tiếng duy nhất mà họ cần biết tôi: ồ thế thì tôi hiểu

[aphdoitsu-deactivated20170414]

Eu: Por que vocês estão destruindo a Terra?! Aliens: Porque há pessoas que pensam que o inglês é a única língua que eles precisam falar. Eu: Isso é justo, eu entendo.

[wednesdaythunder]

jag: varför förintar ni jorden!!!

utomjordingar: för det finns folk som tror att engelska är det ända språket de behöver kunna

jag: rimligt, jag förstår

[useless-czechrepfacts]

Já: Proč ničíte Zemi?

Mimozemšťani: Protože tu jsou lidé, kteří si myslí, že angličtina je jediný jazyk, který potřebují znát

Já: To je fér, to chápu.

[useless-polandfacts]

ja: dlaczego niszczycie Ziemię?

kosmici: ponieważ są ludzie, którzy myślą, że angielski to jedyny język, którego potrzebuję

ja: rozumiem, w porządku

[vyrkann]

io: perchè state distruggendo la terra!!!

alieni: perchè ci sono delle persone che credono che l’inglese sia l’unica lingua di cui hanno bisogno

io: capisco, mi sembra giusto

[rad-and-sleepy]

Yo: porqué estás destruyendo la tierra!?!?

Extraterrestre: porque hay personas quienes creen que inglés es la única lengua que se tiene que hablar.

Yo: te entiendo, es justo.

[haxyr3]

Я: Почему вы уничтожаете Землю?!?! Инопланетяне: Потому что есть люди, которые считают, что им нужно говорить только по-английски. Я: А, ну понятно, тогда ладно!

[jenroses]

A modern Rosetta stone.

[thebootydiaries]

dad: why are you drinking coffee at 10pm?

me: time is an illusion. once you realize that, you can transcend, and live in bliss

me: *takes sip*

me: also i have a 10 page paper due in the morning that i haven’t started

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[koyla-deactivated181124-deactiv]

ever wanna raise an emotionally sound child just to flex on your parents ?

[im-a-tnuc-deactivated20181220]

I don’t know why, but I think some Americans don’t realise how big the UK is….

American Customer: you’re English right? Do you know the bookshop between Wales and Bristol that has lots of books in?

Me in my head: yeah mate, I know that one. Classic. Love to pop down there on a cheeky break between work. What a wanker…

[lizzystarlight]

the continuous 48 states are is almost 39x the size of the isle of great britan

that’s your answer

[mymindsecho]

For reference:

That’s JUST Texas.

[pukicho]

When will the UK learn that they are puny little ants in which to be crushed???

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

where’s that post where the british person was like “oh yeah i only get to see my dad 2-3 times a year because he lives so far away :/” and a person asked “oh no how far away is he?” and the british person said “75 minutes”

[regularlesbian]

op it literally takes about 20 minutes to get to wales from bristol, op that’s a reasonable question do you understand geography

[amandabe11man]

leave europe alone you fucking colonizers

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

It takes my mom an hour to drive to work. Sometimes more. Europeans are cowards.

[ghost-cassette]

“Leave Europe alone you fucking colonizers” Should we tell them?

[xphilosoraptorx]

[penroseparticle]

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

[meduseld]

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

[burntcopper]

A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because ‘someone died in this house’ and all the europeans would go ‘…Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old.’

‘…My school is older than your entire town.’

‘Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip?’

*American looks up at the beams in a country pub* ‘Uh, this place has woodworm, isn’t that a bit unsafe?’ ‘Eh, the woodworm’s 400 years old, it’s holding those beams together.’

[bedlamsbard]

A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Americans and Canadians, and my year it was all Americans and one Australian.  We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can’t remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn’t be making any stops unless absolutely necessary.  We’re headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge.

“All right, it’s going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you’re prepared for that.”

We all brace ourselves.  A long bus ride?  How long?  We’re Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible.  We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break.

The answer.  “Two hours.”

Oh.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

[marzipanandminutiae]

a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn’t interest us much because “it’s not very old; only from the early 1600s”

to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country

[iguana-sneeze]

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

[ceescedasticity]

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

[copperbadge]

My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago “A very nice village.” 

[aggressivesurfmuzic-deactivated]

Is My Anxiety Making My Stomach Sick or is My Sick Stomach Making Me Anxious: A Short Biography

[birkholtz]

[kayvsworld]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

[rizaoftheowls]

me: okay, finally now is sleep

my body: no. wrong.

[memecage]

[catchymemes]

[maskarie]

@czechs-and-holdings

[insomniac-arrest]

late night cashiers at 24-hour convenience stores are the holders of our greatest secrets and most intimate selves

[insomniac-arrest]

not my mom, not my partner, not God himself has seen me no-make up in line to buy a choco-pop and panty liners while on the brink of a heart felt meltdown

no one has given me the empty stare of complete indifference that fills my anxious nerves with relief

there is nothing like the sweet freedom of complete nihilism experienced at a 7/11 at 2am, God lives in church, the randomness of the unfeeling universe lives at aisle 9 of CVS 

[weloveshortvideos]

[bandtshirt]

communication is the foundation

[dippedgaming]

Where are they going? What are they saying?

[baearth]

I don’t even care they just sound so beautiful

[mediumsizedboy]

they are singing s traveling song