Jessie M. Wilhelm

Jessie here, memes, jokes, writing, and animals. Gorls are great. I try to stay away from discourse, but the us government is dumb, alongside some tumblr users.

[bedupolker]

It's hard being a single mom of four to eight kids (she's bad at math)

Also self imposed design challenge to design an infant rodent that doesn't look like eraserhead baby

[cute-catts]

So cute 😺🥺♥️

[itisiives]

[hellmo]

[jessiemwilhelm]

Me: *Doesn’t write a word for months and months* Not great, but I can deal with this.

Me: *Starts writing small and incomplete drabbles, of 500 to 800 words max* Oh? This is good!

Me: *Writes 13K of one document in the timespan of 3 days!* Oh. That’s, uh, a little intense, wouldn’t you say?

Me: *Writes 10k of one document in the timespan of 12 hours.*

Me:

Me: Oh.

[jessiemwilhelm]

Well, I just wasted the good part of an hour tonight looking for a dog clicker that we hardly ever used for our dog only to not find it AND to discover that there are dog clicker apps available on the google play store.

:) I’m fine and not filled to the brim with anger. :)

:) Of course not. :)

[jessiemwilhelm]

Honestly??? I’m a fucking fool. A FOOL.

“Why am I having such a bad day mentally??” I ask.

“Why is my depression turned up by the dial at a hardcore 20%??” I ask.

“Why am I so physically tired???” I ask.

And for what feels like 100th time, as I lay down, finally accepting my fate to taking a nap I realize; mother nature has returned and punched me in the gut.

Now I am filled with an unimaginable amount of rage. I’m mad at myself for being so GODDAMN clueless. AGAIN. Even though this has happened so many times before.

(And for the record; yes I did jump up upon realizing what was happening. Yes I screamed, “Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Bitch!”. And believe me YES, I’m a bit more than annoyed.)

[outofcontextdiscord]

[endangered-justice-seeker]

Every time he said “ma’am” you could tell he really was saying “bitch” in his head and it meant so much to me

[happily-morgan]

Just in case you forgot, she is the girl who wore a rifle around a college campus after a major school shooting.

[planetary-poisons-deactivated20]

Hi, I’m a journalism student at Kent State University. Everyone here hates Kaitlin with a passion. She gives our university such a bad name. We do not claim her. She is the biggest coward I have ever encountered. I saw her on campus recently and I went up to her to ask her a question (because I am a journalist and that’s what I do) and she could SEE the hatred in my eyes. I know this because she backed away in fear. She was like, “sorry I don’t do that” and I was like, “Just one question” and she was literally backing away from me in fear like, “no, i’m sorry” And let me just tell you, I have neverrrrr felt more powerful. I made this biotch shake in her fuckin yeehaw boots. Fuckin ramen noodle hair ass motherfucker. Okay I’m done ranting lol sorry

[girlyghosty]

For people wondering why she was ejected from a “public” Bernie rally:

1. It wasn’t actually a public event, it was a members-only event for the American Federation of Teachers in Lordstown, OH

2. She was sitting in the press section without a press pass

3. It’s obvious she went in, knowing she would be ejected, with the intention of filming her removal and framing it as a breech of her rights.

4. I mean fuck even if that weren’t the case she’s been known to threaten people who disagree with her by asserting that she carries. I wouldn’t be shocked if people would alert security after seeing her to report her assault weapon flaunting ass as a safety concern.

5. She keeps going on about how dare they call the event private because Bernie is a socialist that “doesn’t even believe in private property” affirming she intended to also use this as an opportunity to spread inaccurate defenitions of democratic socialism and cry “hypocrisy” where there is none.

6. Seriously, fuck her. She is an evil person.

[jessiemwilhelm]

Yo I’m not going to lie, I checked out her twitter and I instantly had the worst gut feeling about her. She is genuinely so unsettling to me and idk why.

[forestlune-deactivated20200417]

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

[cure4psycho]

No offense these are the funniest fucking tags

[ultrafacts]

Source: [x]

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts!

[squeeful]

[cosmictuesdays]

“You can’t argue with them like a regular person … you have to out-conspiracy theory them.”

[woman-respecter]

when theres internet drama but you can’t find a summary of everything thats going on so u have to piece it together from memes and tweets

[death-420]

theres a dude on a walmart scooter taking up two parking spots i hate this hell store

[death-420]

hes gone but he left his shoes bro i fucking hate walmart

[death-420]

[subcorax]

infants are so goddamn funny. i was holding my niece today and i just told her “i diagnose you with baby” and she stared at me with the absolute widest eyes like i’d just told her the secret to life itself so i nodded and went “it’s true! you’re just baby” and she stopped for a few seconds, then absolutely YELLED her little head off, very seriously informed me, “ABABABABABAAAAA” and faceplanted into my shoulder, where she promptly began to try to eat my shirt

[consultingdoctorwholock]

Giant monster:

*rises from the mediterranean sea*

Meryl Streep, putting on sunglasses:

Mamma Mia…

*cocks shotgun*

Here we go again

[drferox]

This is Chupey

Hello! This my 6 month old pup named Chupey, short for Chupacabra. His DNA test puts him as mostly Pitt/rott mix….but you wouldn’t know it! Most of his deformaties seem to be external rather than internal. We have done blood tests and had several physical exams and things seem to be mostly in order. He had deformed genitals and was cryptorchid, so we neutered him last week. Now he is drinking and peeing more since the surgery. A blood test a few days ago showed elevated liver enzymes but nothing else of concern, kidneys are fine. So we are trying to get the enzymes under control and hopefully he won’t have to go under the knife again!

But he is happy and loving life so that’s all that matters. He is such a sweet pup and I hope I get lots of time with him!

I just wanted to see what you thought of his funky appearance(especially his ears. His embark DNA test revealed nothing in his genes that would explain why he looks the way he does). If you want to see more pics of him, he has an Instagram @cheers.for.chupey  :)

Just superb, you funky little cryptid.

[tinypawpets]

Thats my little guy! I am glad everyone is enjoying his “unique” appearance :)

[tinypawpets]

Update on my little Chupey, who I swear gets even more weird looking as he ages! Currently at 9 months old, his teeth are one of the biggest parts on him!

[rottendyke]

Oh my god I’m going to cry I love him

[veryfunnymemes]