Joseph "Robbie" Robertson

here to keep Jonah in check

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

Happy autism month!! You are my favorite autistic person!!

BACK IN MY DAY, WE DIDN’T CALL IT AUTISM. A MAN COULD CATEGORIZE HIS PRINTING PLATES BY INK VISCOSITY WITHOUT ALL THESE LABELS BEING THROWN AT HIM.

I DO HOWEVER, HAVE A HUGE AMOUNT OF RESPECT FOR THE AUTISTIC COMMUNITY, MAINLY BECAUSE THEY MAKE UP THE MAJORITY OF MY STAFF! LET IT BE KNOWN THAT AUTISM ACCEPTANCE IS YEAR ROUND AT THE DAILY BUGLE!

[joe-robertson]

I once had someone call me the Bugle's "token neurotypical", whatever that means. I can confirm, the majority of our staff is autistic or generally neurodivergent.

[spidey-official]

okay but what if I say I’m gay. Is that ok

no it's not okay i hate gay people

[banjo16]

@j-jonah-jameson-official

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

SPIDER-MAAAAAN!!!!!

[dailybugle-intern]

I think you just broke your record for loudest yelling, I could hear you on my way to the office.

[joe-robertson]

It was even worse in the building. Had to cover my ears and they still hurt.

[spidey-official]

okay but what if I say I’m gay. Is that ok

no it's not okay i hate gay people

[banjo16]

@j-jonah-jameson-official

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

SPIDER-MAAAAAN!!!!!

[joe-robertson]

Yeah, I can't defend Spider-Man on this one.

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

I saw Spiderman the other day hanging off a building and eating a hotdog while watching some kids play basketball.

PLANNING ON HARASSING THEM OR WEBBING THEM UP FOR LOITERING NO DOUBT!! ITS THANKS TO UNCHECKED VIGILANTES LIKE HIM THAT OUR STREETS ARE NO LONGER SAFE FOR OUR CHILDREN TO PLAY ON!

[joe-robertson]

Jonah, don't you think you're blowing this out of proportion? I think it's time you take a small break to collect yourself.

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

ITS A DAMN SURVEILLANCE STATE, ROBBIE!! AND SPIDER-MAN IS COMPLICIT! HELL, HE’S AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT!

[joe-robertson]

Sure it is. How about we take a break together?

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

I saw Spiderman the other day hanging off a building and eating a hotdog while watching some kids play basketball.

PLANNING ON HARASSING THEM OR WEBBING THEM UP FOR LOITERING NO DOUBT!! ITS THANKS TO UNCHECKED VIGILANTES LIKE HIM THAT OUR STREETS ARE NO LONGER SAFE FOR OUR CHILDREN TO PLAY ON!

[joe-robertson]

Jonah, don't you think you're blowing this out of proportion? I think it's time you take a small break to collect yourself.

[tjtlee]

3 | Classy J Jonah Jameson posting

[joe-robertson]

This is an accurate portrayal of what I have to encounter on a daily basis.

[joe-robertson]

Contrary to popular belief, Jonah did not get banned from Applebee's for crapping his pants. He got banned for cussing out the waiter and tipping one cent.

[barney-bushkin]

Barney is NOT short for Barnacle. Who started that rumor?

[joe-robertson]

I'm not so sure about that.

[barney-bushkin]

SHUT UP! Robbie isn't even your real name!!!

[joe-robertson]

I never claimed it was.

[barney-bushkin]

Barney is NOT short for Barnacle. Who started that rumor?

[joe-robertson]

I'm not so sure about that.

[barney-bushkin]

J JONAH JAMESON GOT BANNED FROM APPLEBEE'S FOR CRAPPING HIS PANTS!

[joe-robertson]

Good lord. Who told him about this?

[the-cockroach]

Erotic roleplay but you're J Jonah Jameson asking me for pics of Spiderman.

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN AREN’T THE ONLY THING I WANT ON MY DESK TONIGHT.

[joe-robertson]

Good lord Jonah. I mean it's not the first time I've heard you say this but really? Publicly?

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

Does your relationship with SpiderMan include any... homoerotic umdertones? Like, the guys built, has a handsome voice AND keeps teasing you. I ship it

I’LL BE ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE BUCKO! LIKE WHAT ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH IS THAT USERNAME?!

[joe-robertson]

Good point. Besides, I think Spider-Man is significantly younger than Jonah. That's not right.

[joe-robertson]

C'mon dad. Of course Pete isn't Spider-man. He can't even pay his rent.

Oh and on another note can you send me some money for rent so I can cover Peter's share because he's late on it again. Or you could like give him a raise. Dude needs it.

I'll see what I can do, Son.

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

Peter Parker is spiderman

Your welcome

BROCK?! IS THAT YOU?! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP BLACKMAILING YOUR COWORKERS!! IF YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE THAT WHINY LOUSE PARKER IS SOME KINDA SUPERPOWERED VIGILANTE I'M GONNA NEED SOME MORE PROOF THAN A MYSTERIOUS LETTER DROPPED INTO MY P.O. BOX!!

WELL TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME!! THE PUBLIC'S BEEN INTERESTED IN A CERTAIN IMAGE OF YOU IN A CERTAIN DOMESTIC GET-UP! MAYBE I'LL JUST HAVE TO PROVIDE!

[joe-robertson]

Whaaaaaaat... noooooo.... Peter? Noooooo... That's impossible. Jonah's right. That couldn't be.

[vigilantsycamore]

Ned: Spider-Man, do you support gay rights?

Spider-Man: I'm bi

Jonah: HE'S DODGING THE QUESTION

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

NOW *THIS* IS A HEADLINE!! THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-PHOBE!! THE AMAZING HATER-MAN! SPIDER-MAN BITTEN BY A RADIOACTIVE BIGOT!! NO...NO... THAT'S CRAP...C'MON JONAH THINK!!

[an-avillainess]

the arach-no-homo-phobe? :)

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

ROBBIE!! PRINT THAT!!!

@joe-robertson

[joe-robertson]

Don't you think you're jumping to conclusions here? You know what, fine.

[j-jonah-jameson-official]

longest coffee break ever I guess

IT ISN’T HEALTHY FOR A MAN TO BE ON HIS TYPEWRITER ALL DAY!! SEE THIS IS WHAT’S RUINING THIS GENERATION! NO PATIENCE WHATSOEVER!!

[joe-robertson]

Please do not encourage him to take less breaks. Lord knows he doesn't take enough as it is.

[joe-robertson]

Lonnie leave me alone.