Johnthedinosaur

My name is John and I am a disappointment Snapchat:johnhetauntaun

[daily-shitpost-bakery]

[swarnpert]

sir, do you know how fast you were pissing?

[legalgod]

nsfw (not safe for water)

alkali metals

[enby-life]

I’m here to introduce you to grolar bears

They’re a mix between polar bears and grizzly bears

It’s a hybrid that’s occurred both in captivity and in nature, for some reason

The best part about grolar bears however, is that they’re also known as…

Pizzly

[wahhmpire]

[mattefier-deactivated20221118]

You into breeding?

No! Always adopt from a shelter! 🐶🐱🐹🐰

[pissvortex]

[toastbutteregg]

[brainless-moe-white-lotus]

I tried to order a bts meal w vbucks and the cashier sicked his dalmatians onto my aging mother

[jayslashthem]

Posts that would have been incomprehensible a month ago

[no-chill-at-all]

[cringe-attacks]

[catasters]

[dotjoy]

Big doinks in Black Mesa

[cyberfights]

this is an artistic rendition of my irrational fear of a head that attacks only under the cover of the very loud toilet flush in the scary top floor bathroom at the hospital and how i exited the bathroom when i decided to flush and run as opposed to my normal method of flushing and putting my back to a wall

[cyberfights]

took pics today at work to show common attack patterns and defense strategies that i employ

[woolwearer]

?????????????????????

[woolwearer]

Never forget

[toastbutteregg]

this is wrong. 32 is not equal to 6

[sloppystyle]

shes shopping

[officialromaniantranslatiuni]

[owlmylove]

#if my therapist had one of these bad boys in his office he could unlock a spectrum of mental disorders only perceptible to shrimp

[ask-bot]

What’s the most simple thing you’ve ever had to explain to a fully competent adult?

[welcomedhappiness]

That you cannot fax money to someone.

[kurumawer]

Had someone accidentally fax us some paperwork. They then asked if we would fax it back due to the paperwork being confidential…

[jungle-plastic]

I have received a fax in an envelope. like… they took the documents, put em in an envelope, then faxed me a picture of the sealed envelope.

[asoulgonesince2002]

When I was a kid, I faxed my dad’s satellite office drawings of horses. I had watched my father send so many faxes that I had the process memorized. Except, for some reason I thought that I could fax things to grandma. I put in the numbers for the office every time, but was convinced that the faxes were going to grandma. I also didn’t think to inform my parents that I was doing this.

My dad visited the satellite office (three hour drive) one day and discovered their conference room white board absolutely covered in my drawings. The guys thought it was adorable that I sent drawings and letters to them, and didn’t tell my dad because they knew he’d stop me.

[pizzaalle]

That’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard.

[lady-averie]

I like that this just turned into stories about faxing

[thebootydiaries]

Parents: why you wanna move so bad

Me: independence

Me in head: gettin a lizard