A personal experience by Jordy Blair
After many moons of waiting, several tantalising teasers, a change of lead actor, and adult stores nation-wide cashing in on 50 Shades-related products, the anticipation was over. I was finally seeing the phenomenon that is 50 Shades of Grey.
Just so you know, the books didn’t do it for me; I definitely didn’t get off on reading them. While I’m happy for the women who did – hey, whatever it takes, right? – that wasn’t me. In all honesty, I struggled through them. I thought the writing was far from fantastic and the storyline is repetitive. So why did I want to see the movie? Because curiosity killed the cat, that’s why! I jumped on the 50 Shades-bandwagon because I needed to see firsthand how Sam Taylor-Johnson would convert such controversial topics in the novel into a film. And because I suffer from FOMO on the reg (that’s fear-of-missing-out on the regular).
Earlier in the day, I read a couple of mixed reviews, none of which particularly praised the film. (But alas, I was expecting the critics to be, well, critical.) One review though, did stay with me. It was written by Rosie Waterland, a contributor to mamamia.com.au who said she ‘walked out of the cinema on the verge of tears’. She felt that [the film] ‘was actually two hours of incredibly disturbing content about an emotionally abusive relationship’. After reading a review like that, I felt apprehensive about seeing the film and didn’t know whether I could even handle watching something like that.
I arrived at the Palace Centro Cinema on James Street and decided that a cider would calm the nerves. My girlfriend arrived soon after – the boyfriend irrevocably refused to come with me – and we made our way into Cinema 1. It was already dark but from what I could see, the average audience age was over 40 and it was couples! I had a giggle but all too soon, the clouds rolled in (literally, onscreen) and the pre-film credits started running. Following that was an almighty silence in the room. Now I’m no Christian (pun intended) but I prayed that the audience would be good to me, that they wouldn’t laugh at Christian’s trademark phrase ‘laters, baby’ because I knew it was coming. I’m pleased to report that someone was looking over me; the audience was reasonably well-behaved. And then I spent the next two hours waiting (and wanting?) to see some erotica, some proper S & M, and the use of kinky sex toys and equipment that I couldn’t name… But it never came. And neither, I’m pleased to say, did any domestic violence occur.
I know thousands of women disagree with me on this, however, as you would know if you’d read the books (and which he alludes to in the movie whilst Anastasia is sleeping), Christian is admittedly ’50 shades of fucked up’ because his mother was a crack addict and a prostitute, and she was slim and blonde JUST LIKE ANA. And just like all of his other submissives. In his broken mind, when he ‘punishes’ his submissives, he is punishing his mother. And that is all he has ever known. But Anastasia makes him question his beliefs and want to change, to be a better, more normal and well-adjusted man. He breaks his own contract for her.
If there’s one thing I believe, it’s that you can’t choose who you fall for and against all odds, even with Christian’s singular sexual preferences and his controlling nature, and Anastasia’s dorky awkwardness and sexual inexperience, the two fall head over heels for each other. No relationship is perfect; it’s about compromise and growth, and Ana and Christian’s connection is a perfect example of that. Cue Ellie Goulding’s ‘Love Me Like You Do’ here and I was grinning like the Cheshire Cat, feeling like I’d fallen in love too. However, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Christian’s hot-and-cold behaviour becomes too emotionally confusing for Ana so she says goodbye to him and the lift doors close between them. The end.
Even though I have read all three books, I turned to my girlfriend and out came a flood of questions.
That’s it? Really? Did I miss anything in the two minutes that I ran to the toilet? Am I a horrible person for not thinking their relationship was abusive? Because I didn’t, not for one minute, and I was looking for it. But I couldn’t possibly write these feelings in my review, could I?
And on it went until my girlfriend laughed and told me she enjoyed the film too. It took a couple of seconds for me to process what she’d said and then instantly, some of my self-doubt disappeared. The following day, however, I was still feeling hesitant about voicing my opinion to the world, an opinion that completely contrasted the view of a journalist who felt so strongly about the film that she’d walked away almost in tears. Thankfully, my saving grace came in the form of Mia Freedman’s review of the film. She, too, had read the books and found the film to be a much milder version with no domestic abuse in sight. And then it hit me. Unlike Mr Grey, reviews don’t aim to please (or displease for that matter). They are merely an (educated, or in the case of this film, sometimes not) opinion, and there is no telling whose view will gain more publicity or cause more discussion. But no matter which way you side, discussion is good. So, after a lengthy prologue, here is my honest opinion of 50 Shades of Grey, no holds barred (except maybe the omission of some unnecessarily cheesy puns for your own reading pleasure).
Walking into the cinema, every bone in my body felt that I was going to hate Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey. I screwed up my nose each time I saw him in the trailers; I didn’t think he was good-looking and in my mind, Christian didn’t have ‘poofy’ hair. This is where I eat my words. Jamie played a convincing Christian, he IS handsome, and phwoarrr, his chiselled abs! And I don’t know a single other guy that could make ‘laters, baby’ sound smooth. He was cool, calm, collected and controlled – exactly how I envisaged Christian to be. If anything, he could have been a little more dark and moody, a little less smiley but that’s pulling at straws.
I want to make special mention here of the film’s killer soundtrack. Sia, AWOLNATION, The Rolling Stones, Annie Lennox and Frank Sinatra are all featured. And Beyonce’s 2014 alternative remix of the popular ‘Crazy In Love’ is seductive and haunting all at once. Sam Taylor-Johnson’s poor direction of the film is fortunately saved by the selected soundtrack songs which evoke essential emotions.
Dornan and Dakota Johnson had obvious on-screen chemistry even through Ana’s constant lip-biting and Christian’s twitchy palm. Dakota’s natural, awkward giggle made her character that much more refreshing. But let’s not beat around the bush (ha ha), I hope she gets a little trim down there before the next film. There definitely could have been more BDSM screen-time – a lot was cut from the book and too much was left to the imagination. A bit of bum and a lot of Dakota’s boobs – which were, I might add, outstanding – but nothing new, really. This was obviously due to the film being downgraded to MA from R. Disappointing but understanding considering an R-rating would have cut a large portion of sales from the box office. Regardless of the second film’s rating, you can count on me to be in the front row checking out Jamie’s abs (and Dakota’s boobs).
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