The apartment was dimly lit as she woke up from her nightmare, her past still haunting her even though it had been years ago, she still remembered it as if it was yesterday.
Her body shook from the previous event and sweat covered her body, the bodies, the blood it all still stood clear in her mind as she tried to take steady breaths to calm herself down. Once her body stopped shaking she stood up from the hard floor she called a bed, she didnāt remember having anything that was softer than the floor, she had tried a bed but after an hour she had laid down on the floor finding it more comfortable than the way too soft bed.
She walked to the shower to get the sweat off her and to collect herself more, a shower usually helped calm her body and mind after the nightmares.
After she was done she walked in her living room that was connected to the kitchen, it was a small apartment that had all the necessary stuff she needed, not too big but not too small either.
The city outside her window was alive and the sound of cars driving and people buzzing around put her on edge, she was used to silence, grey monotone walls and only being talked to whenever she was getting an order or in special occasions asked a question.
This world was new to her, she had been out for years but she still feeled uneasy navigating around in the outside world, so she for the most part stayed inside her little apartment watching the news on her television to see what happened outside without actually being there.
The knock on her door made her jump slightly but she quickly composed herself and walked slowly over to her door grabbing a knife on the kitchen counter in case she needed it. She could properly do the same damage without the knife but liked to have it with her for an extra precaution.
There was another knock on her door while she neared it and a voice from the other side āY/n i-we need your help can you open the door?ā She furrowed her eyebrows, the voice sounded familiar but she couldnāt pinpoint it and she didnāt really know or talked to anyone so she was confused to say the least.
She got to the door and peeked through the loophole in the door to get a look of who was outside the door, she stumbled away from the door when she saw who was outside it, it was a face she would recognise anywhere even after all these years and even with the haircut he had gotten. When she had stumbled back she must have made some sort of noise cause the voice outside spoke again āY/n you alright? Can you open the door?ā But she barely heard it, fear cruising through her, she backed farther away from the door she was promised safety when she got free and yet here he was standing in front of her door the man that had dragged back the last time she tried to escape, the winter soldier. Was he here to take her back? No it couldnāt, he never returned from that mission years ago she remembered that clearly, she had heard the guards talk about how they had lost him.
She got back to her senses and grabbed her knife tightly in her hand, took a deep breath and silently walked over to the door, unlocked it and stood back in the shadows, she knew she had no chance of overpowering him he was too strong so she would need to surprise him if she wanted any chance of success.
āIām going to open the door alright? I just wanna talkā He said while turning the doorknob, she didnāt believe him, how could she the last time he had dragged her back, but she remained silent.
When he had walked in and closed the door behind him, she attacked but he was faster than her and dodged the knife that came for his head, he dodged each attack from her trying to get a hold of her without hurting her or himself in the proces.
She tried her best but in the end he ended up having her in a chokehold against his chest, the knife thrown away she tried to get free but little did it help, he was stronger than her like he always had been. āMy name is James Buchanan Barnes and I'm no longer the winter soldier, so please stop. I'm not here to hurt you i just wanna talkā He said while she still tried to get free not believing him. āLies all they do is lieā she said while she gave him an elbow in the stomach making him release her, she quickly grabbed her knife while he still was doubled over, when he stood again she pointed the knife at his throat glaring at him. For the first time Bucky got a good look at her, she had gotten older since he last had seen, of course she would look older. She had been around 16 when he last had seen her, a child who now had grown to look more like a young woman. āWhat do you want?ā She asked, fear was lingering in her eyes, the knife slightly trembling in her hands she tried her hardest not to but the man in front of her made it hard not to. āI want your helpā He started off slowly eyeing her every movement, he could easily overpower her, but he didnāt want to scare her more than he already had done. āI need your help with tracking a few people down, they have created the super soldier serum and i want to stop them, youāre one of the only ones i know that might want to helpā He said, she stood staring at him not quite understanding it, he wanted her help?
She slowly lowered the knife and he took a deep breath. Maybe she would actually help him and Sam, he hoped for it but knew that there still might be a long way before she actually said yes to go with them.
āI donāt understand?ā She said quietly, still confused with everything, ā you, me and a friend of mine Sam are going to find the people that made the super soldier serum, before it ends up in the wrong hands.ā Bucky explained, she knew what he meant by the wrong hands, she had seen the other winter soldiers when they were created and got uncontrollable, no she definitely didnāt want that to happen again. āWhat do you need my help with?ā She asked, still watching him and his every move, in case he should turn against her and try to attack her. āI know youāre a great fighter, we could use that. And youāre probably sick of spending all this time in your apartment.ā He was right she was, but what else could she do? She didnāt know anything or anyone outside her apartment, her own mind didnāt allow her to, what if it was them trying to capture her again? She couldnāt risk that not now, not when she was finally free but if she was with James and his so called friend Sam they could protect her right? Make sure she was kept hidden and not thrown back into a cell again.
She relaxed a bit in her body and gave James a small nod, āalright James, where are we going?ā
Jamesās friend Sam was a funny guy, he had seemed a bit distant at first and asked her a bunch of questions, but now he seemed more relaxed and trusted her a bit more than before, it made her relax a bit more towards the stranger.
She currently sat on the backseat of a car as they drove through a city in Germany, on their way to a prison where they were going to talk to a guy called Zemo. She didnāt ask many questions as they drove, she had learned the hard way in her life not to ask questions. āWait kid, how old are you?ā Asked Sam from the driver seat looking at her through the rear mirror, she took a moment to answer she needed to think she had been in cryo a few times, so her actual age didnāt add up with her appearance.
āI think i'm around 22 but iām not quite sureā she said not quite sure with her answer, Sam took a double take at her in the mirror, āyou donāt look like a 22 year old?ā he said questionly āI have been on ice a couple of times.ā She said quietly, not wanting to talk about her past, Sam got the hint and gave her a nod and a reassuring smile, she returned to look out her window for the rest of the trip.
She found her walking along the two other men in a garage of some sort, she walked behind them not paying much attention to their conversation, but when she suddenly heard shuffling from the other side of the room it immediately grabbed her attention.
A man walked out wearing a guard uniform, āWhat did you do!?ā Sam's voice rang out glaring at James, āwe need him!ā He stated, Sam ignored him and turned his attention back to the stranger, āyouāre going back to prisonā āif i may-ā The stranger was cut off from both of the other men āNo!ā She didnāt know who the man was so she couldnāt voice an opinion if she had one, but since it was pretty clear that the two other men didnāt like the stranger she decided she was going to be careful around him.
After everyone had calmed down a bit the stranger began to walk through the garage and explain the plan, not much into detail just what they needed to know for now.
Walking on to the private plane, she felt a bit more uneasy than she had before she had no idea where they were going with this stranger that apparently had a lot of money. She sat beside James across from the stranger where she watched his every move, not wanting anything to come as a surprise for her if went to pull any trick on them. The stranger talked briefly with his butler in a language she didnāt understand, she did notice a strange notebook lying within his other book that he had brought, she flinched when James launched at him, grabbing his throat. Memories came crashing within her and her heartbeat quicked up faster than she liked, flashes of her own hands on people's throats while they begged for mercy ran across her eyes, she closed them and shook her head a few times making them disappear.
āIāve seen that book. It was Steveās when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.ā Sam said from his seat, she furrowed her eyebrows, who was Steve and why did James have his notebook? Sam and the stranger began to talk about how cool Marvin Gaye was, while James claimed he was more into 40ās music. The stranger began to talk more about the Steve guy and someone named Redskull, she didnāt know who it was so she zoned a bit out of the conversation.
āIām sorry i donāt think i introduced myself. Iām Baron Zemoā The stranger said making eye contact with her, having a mischief glint in his eyes she nodded at him āy/nā she said plainly not wanting to give out information to the man in front of her. āAhh Y/n or Plan B as youāre called in your files. I've read about you and your time with hydra, a shame you werenāt with the other soldiers in Siberia when I killed them. ā He said, her blood ran cold with the name of the organization that had held her captured and messed up her mind this much. ā I am not like themā she said, fixing her gaze on him, āare you sure about that? With all the lives you have taken, what makes you more different than them?ā He pressed clearly wanting a reaction from her, wanting to see if she was as cruel and cold blooded as described in her files.
She merely glared at him āIām nothing like them, they liked what they did and did it with freewill and no hesitation. I didnāt, when I got old enough to see what they were doing was wrong, I tried to escape several times but I always got brought back. Each time I got beat up more than the last time, whipped so I wouldn't fight them, programmed my mind so they could control me, so that I wouldn't escape all the time. I tried to get out, I really did, the last time I tried they sent him after meā She said nodding her head to James, continuing to tell her story. āI fought with everything i had learned but he was stronger than me, he dragged me back there, i guess they got tired of me escaping all the time, so they programmed my mind like i had seen they did to him, then put me on ice so they were sure i didnāt tried to run again. It was only when he didnāt get back from a mission i got brought back out again, they made sure they whipped me regularly so i didnāt get a change to return to myself againā She told all three men as they stared at her, Sam and James had sad looking expressions, while Zemo had a glint of fazination on his. āIām sorry to hear about that. But I canāt help but wonder if your trigger words are the same as his?ā Zemo asked and gestured to James beside her, she squinted her eyes at the man in front of her. āI donāt knowā she said slowly while looking down thinking, trying to recall anything that might help her, a little smirk made a way onto Zemoās lips and before anyone had a chance of stopping him the russian word came flowing āŠŠµŠ»Š°Š½ŠøŠµā Longing. Her eyes snapped up at him in an instant, her mind betraying her in an instant, it was as if black dots started to fill her mind. But with only one of the words spoken they only covered parts of her mind, she remembered the feeling immediately, her heartbeat quickened up, fear of losing control of herself came crashing upon her. āShut upā She spat at the man in front of her already halfway lashing herself out of her seat towards him, but James was quick and grabbed her before she had made her way over the table to do what she wanted to do to Zemo.
āStop that right now! Do you think this is funny?!ā James pointed at Zemo, anger radiating off him, the baron merely smiled ā I wanted to test a theory, it seemed like I was correct.ā He brushed it off, seeming unbothered by the glaring and heavy breathing girl sitting in front him, he only told where they would be going and what the plan was, but she didnāt hear much of it too distracted in her own mind doing her best to shake away the uncomfortable feeling in her head. She snapped back when she heard her name being said āyou James and Y/n will have to become someone you claim as gone.ā She knew what that meant she didnāt like it, not after what just had happened, but she couldnāt back out now, she heard James taking a deep breath beside her he clearly didnāt like either.
They were used to doing things they didnāt like to do, only this time they could say no, but when did they ever get to say no.
Therapist: Considering what you told me and how much you wanna beat him to death, heās not. You pretty much hate him despite knowing him for years.
Me:
Me: Why did I need to come here to realize that.
Therapist: Because thatās my job to help you to understand some stuff. Also because youāre way too kind and you would let someone punch you in the guts and still consider them as your friend while they stab you.
As an update, Jerome gave my appointment to someoneās else today so we were both in the waiting room, confused and he walked in, patted my head and said sorry but honestly it was hilarious.
The secretary came to tell me that Jerome actually forgot to write me down on the appointment list.
This is a 100% normal situation with Jerome as my Therapist.
Therapist: Why donāt you send a mail to your psychiatrist when you have a bad mood swing?
Me: Like what? āHey JoĆ«l wassup, Iāve been very suicidal lately last night I wanted to die. Hope you have rad vacations and the weed is good save some good kush for me, kissy kissy.ā ?
Therapist: Exactly.
Me: Youāre as bad as me with human interactions Jerome, yāknow.
For a bit of context here: Around two months ago I went to a friendās who happened the live on the same street as Jerome, which I didnāt know. He was really surprised to see me and came to check on me, asking me why I was here with a bit of concern on his voice. And this take place earlier this month:
Therapist: So your friend lives in the same street than I?
Me: Yes. Townās short I guess.
Therapist: Were you really going to your friend...?
Me: Yes?? Why else would I be here?
Therapist: A lot of drug deals happen in this street and I see often teenagers and young adults coming and buy stuffs. I was a bit worried for you.
I promised Iād give you all another Dark fic when we reached our next milestone, and I always keep my promises.Ā
Just a quick warning- this is not fluff. Itās not romance. Itās not a sympathetic portrayal. This man is a manipulator, a good one, and he does what he does to further his own interests. He enjoys control, not company. And, to use Markās own words:
He is not here to help you. He is here to use you.
Itās all in the way that girl/boys shirts are made.
Girls shirts have less armpit room then boyās do and are generally shorter so pulling it off over your head is more practical because by lifting your arms all the way up you make enough room for the sleeves to just slip off.
Boys shirts have more room and are generally longer so it is easy to slip them off over your head.
but if you take a girls shirt off like a boys shirt you will get your arms caught because there isnāt much armpit space.
and if you take a boys shirt off like a girls shit you will still have your head in it when youāve lifted your arms all the way up because of the shirtās length.
It has nothing to do with us. It is entirely to do with how our shirts are made. I figured it out for you. YOUāRE WELCOME!
$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think
Thatās the reaction of an adult who delights in what you just did, but is in the position of Enforcing The Rules, so they have to tell you to stop anyway
It amazes me how Jack comes up with jokes and references to shows, movies, memes, and songs on the spot while his attention is divided because heās also playing a game. It takes a seriously sharp mind to be able to do that ā making those connections and articulating them on the fly is impressive enough, but doing that while also making progress in a game at the same time? Our boy is honestly smart af.
Yo I reblogged that goat one and I ended up getting 27 dollars in my back account cause I got a refund on a sex toy that didnt work the day after i reblogged that shit
THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY
maybe itās a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what youāre wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT
