Three Goblin Art
Keni
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Sade Olutola
Xuebing Du
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
taylor price
Monterey Bay Aquarium
hello vonnie
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
RMH
NASA
ellievsbear
PR's Tumblrdome
One Nice Bug Per Day
𓃗
$LAYYYTER
Jules of Nature
Show & Tell
todays bird
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@just-a-d0od
Verified: Microsoft 365 gets massive 45% price hike — and it's all to do with AI tools (Tom's Guide - January 17, 2025)
oopsie i tripped and spilled my link to archive dot org's downloadable copy of Microsoft office suite for 2007, which features no AI tools and is a powerful word processor that still holds up just fine on windows 10!
Download free office suite for Windows, macOS and Linux. Microsoft compatible, based on OpenOffice, and updated regularly.
ok no sorry the idea of Damian being immune to recreational drugs and not just poisons is very funny to me, because as fucked up as it is, it opens the opportunity for this kind of conversation
*on patrol*
Tim: HOLY SHIT- Damian you good?!
Dick: you two alright over there?
Tim: yeah, some crazy addict just tried to stick Damian with a needle! he didn't get you, right?
Damian: i am fine, and i would have been fine even if he had succeeded.
Tim: yeah- you wouldn't be saying that if you'd gotten doused with heroin for the night.
Damian: what do you take me for, an inbecile? i have a high tolerance for all drugs, as my grandfather demanded.
*a pause*
Tim, flatly: run that by me again real quick.
Dick: uh- yeah, Dames? i understand you're immune to a lot of poisons, but recreational drugs are a whole other ballpark.
Damian, impatient: Todd.
Jason, sighing: yeah, no... kid ain't lying, sadly. his tolerance for heroin n all that shit is off the charts.
*another pause*
Dick, horrified: SORRY?!
Tim: HEH-?!
Damian: i truly do not understand the fuss. grandfather thought it would be a bonding experience.
Tim: BONDING- so what, you and Ra's were both getting high? the world's most fucked up trip circle?
Damian: well we were not alone, grandfather was not stupid.
Tim: then who the fuck else was apart of this hotbox?
Dick, bemoaning: oh my god, Damian, you poor kid...
Damian: he only trusted his most powerful general and bodyguard to protect us during such delicate training.
Tim: please don't say Talia.
Damian: ...it was not my mother, no.
Tim: then who?
*another pause*
Jason, bursting out: DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING WEIRD IT IS,
Tim: OH- *high pitched cackles*
Jason: -TO DIE, DIG YOUR WAY UP THROUGH A GRAVE, AND THEN BE TAKEN OUT TO A DESERT TO BE SOME WEIRD OLD GUY AND HIS GRANDSON'S TRIP BABYSITTERS?!? DO YOU?
Tim: *still laughing*
Dick: Jason, you let that happen?!
Jason: OH- yeah, Dick, because i was completely in control of that situation, i had so much say in what went on. i got him out of there as soon as i fucking could, ok?
Tim: i really want to see pictures of baby Damian and Ra's in a sweat lodge together, holding blunts, both wearing ray bans, peace signs flashed to the camera-
Dick: Tim, don't be insensitive.
Jason: i actually do have a polaroid of him off his face when he was six wearing sunglasses and holding a blunt.
Dick: JASON?
Jason: well i had to have some fun sometimes, Dick. and Tim's just a loser skater-boy, this is in his blood.
Tim: OI.
Damian: i'll kill all of you.
Jason: don't be mad, kid. you were a baby that smoked weed. you're cooler than any of us could ever be.
The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.
Penny: We go home, we play the mirror game, we have dessert, we play more games, we have fun deal?
Me: Okay well actually we're going to go home, have dinner, then dessert, then we can play your video game, then tubby then bed
Penny: Okay no tubby, games first, deal?
Me: This is not - what is happening right now?
Penny: Dada?
Dada: Arbitration?
Penny: DEALS!
Every single thing in our lives has become a negotiation and it is frankly ridiculous as it is hilarious.
Penny: I want to use bare foot when we go outside
Me: I didn't know we were going outside but you have to wear shoes girl
Penny: okay but what about I use bare foot's but at Penny's house? This deal?
Me: you know what yeah fine if you agree to not fight about shoes when we leave the house you can be barefoot in the back yard, deal.
Penny: -sticks her hand out expectantly- we deal?
I think I just made a verbal contract with a 4 year old.
She's attempting to establish evidence I think
Penny: but I want to go shool pwease
Dada: okay well it is 8pm, so you have to go to sleep now
Penny: okay but I see my fwiends at shool now please, deal?
Dada: Darling no one is at school, all your friends are asleep as well.
Penny: all Penny's fwiends are sweep? What about we... get in Dadas car and check to see watch them sweep, yes deal?
Dada: I cannot begin to explain to you why that can not happen
The great thing about being beholden to Penny the Deals Warlock is that she is also beholden to the art of the deal
Me: (watching Penny scoot her step stool over to where we keep the candy jar): hey honey we're literally walking out the door to go get dinner, maybe we wait on the candy okay?
Penny: Oh but I will have some candy?
Me: Why don't you come have some mac and cheese and then when we get home you can have some candy, deal?
Penny: (running out the door) oh, yes this is deals!
We are visiting my family and Papa has quickly had to pay patronage to Penny the Deals Warlock
Papa: (yesterday morning, when Penny was a little grumpy) What about you come downstairs and we'll have some waffles and then tomorrow Papa will take you to the Diner in town for breakfast?
Penny: (extending her tiny hand to a VERY confused man) this is deal?
Papa: (not knowing hes entering a literal contract) uhm yeah deal.
-smash cut to 6:30 AM this morning-
Penny (running down the hallway in bare feet) 👹BREAKFAST DEALS👹
Penny has a canker sore to end all canker sores, to the point where she hasn't been able to eat so we had to make some deals surrounding getting some medicine on it because a hungry Penny Rose is like a angry demon queen
Me: Okay baby this is going to suck. This is going to hurt real bad for a second and then it's going to feel weird and then it's going to feel good. You're going to hate it. But if you let Mama get these three medicines in and on you [Listerine, Antacid, Tylenol] you can scream it out and then we'll go get some ice cream! Deal?
Penny: (obviously not thrilled with this idea) okay, three big shreams, three medicines, ice cream ... it will suck... ice cream ... deal. (Sticks out hand and we shake on it)
Me: okay let's do this I'm so sorry (starts the process)
Penny: ( In between her big screams ) IM GONNA GET LOTS OF FRINKLES
My husband is trying to make a deal with Penny to get upstairs and get in the bath tub
Penny: I will go upstairs and get my body clean but you hafta titch me, deal?
Dada: I would love to make this deal with you kid but I literally have no idea what you are saying- I don't know what the terms are, you're speaking a language I don't speak
Penny: you have to titch me like mama does okay DEAL!? (Sticks tiny hand out aggressively)
Dada: (looks at me bewildered for help)
Me: ( starts making a quick tick tick tick sound imitating a stop watch like I'm timing her, while penny jumps around yelling YES TITCH ME LIKE THAT)
Dada: In what world was I ever going to figure that out, thank you for acting as our legal interpreter yes deal let's go!
and off she sprints.
Penny does not want to go to bed, but man is it time for her to go to bed
Penny: But I don't want to be sleeping, I want to stay up now! I want to see Grampy and Cozy and Guppie and Papa!
Mama: What if we video call all the grands and say good night to everyone? If we do that will you then go to bed no fussing?
Penny: Oh yes, this is deals! -sticks her hand out to shake-
** we make the rounds and video call all her grandparents, they are all already in bed and say good night and penny hangs up the last video call and toddles into bed with minimal fussing **
Penny : (after a few minutes of silence, over the video monitor, to herself in her dark bedroom) I hafta respect da deals.
sometimes when I'm bored, I go through the list of recent bad faith Wikipedia edits that have since been reverted. a lot of them are politically contentious/offensive topics that attract crazies and trolls in general, but sometimes there are completely innocent inoffensive articles that people attack for no reason. some guy yesterday vandalized the article on the chemical element francium
Francium IS a stupid element. It has a half life of 22 minutes and barely exists at all, only naturally occurring as a product of the extremely rare alpha decay series ²³⁵U ➝ ²³¹Th ➝ ²³¹Pa (𝜷 decay) ➝ ²²⁷Ac ➝ ²²³Fr (1.38% chance). There’s less than a gram of it on earth at any given moment. It has no uses to anybody and it isn’t even the most reactive group 1A element due to relativistic effects fucking up its electron binding energies. Stupid substance.
If you somehow asked a genie to get you a gram of Francium in a sealed vial so you could do an experiment with it, the genie would just give it to you because the enormous amount of radioactivity it produces would instantly vaporize the sample and cook you alive. Absolute dogshit isotope and its synthetic siblings are just the same but worse
found the guy
I think the batkids deserve to have their own personal 'loud incorrect buzzer' for whenever someone lies. Just imagine:
Dick: So last week, Dami and I went to Batburger-
Damian: *loud incorrect buzzer noise*
Dick: ??
Damian: No, we didn't.
Dick:
Dick: Oh my god okay so it was TWO WEEKS AGO-
Damian, smug: Better.
Jason, snickering: This might be our best piece of gear yet.
(on comms, patrol)
Tim: Nightwing, a robbery just past the building on your left-
Steph: *loud incorrect buzzer noise*
Tim: What??? There is!
Steph: Yeah, but it's on his right, he turned around.
Tim: ...
Tim: Spoiler I'm rapidly approaching your location.
Steph, laughing: WAIT NO
Damian, meeting Tim in the Cave: Did you even go to sleep last night?
Tim, typing at the Batcomputer: Yeah.
Dick: *loud incorrect buzzer noise*
Tim: That doesn't count. He asked if I slept not where I slept.
Dick: I don't care. You falling asleep at the Batcomputer shouldn't count.
(on comms)
Bruce: No names on the field-
Jason: *loud incorrect buzzer noise*
Bruce: ...
Tim, absolutely losing it: What's even *wheeze* what's even incorrect about that?!
Jason: Nothin', he just annoyed me.
i don't think chess sets be like
I'm so sorry but
yeah
Chess piece designers: I don’t remember what a human looks like but I can carve the fuck out of a horse
i think janitor should be the highest paying job in a society
im not kidding im not kidding have you ever been inside a public bathroom
i love pitting classically trained magic users against self-taught magic users in sci-fi/fantasy but it shouldn’t be snobbish disdain for them it should be terror
“WHO TAUGHT YOU LIGHTNING BEFORE BASIC TELEKINESIS. LOSING MY MIND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST DID IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAST WITH YOUR BARE HANDS”
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU’VE ‘HACKED’ MANA DRAIN
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘DRINK SOME JUICE’
WHAT IS ‘LOW BLOOD SUGAR’
WHY IS THIS WORKING
I HATE YOU SO MUCH
Okay but other direction can ALSO be a lot of fun
“What do you mean I don’t have to burn half my blood to create a fireball?”
“Why can you teleport more than once without vomiting? WTF is ‘quantum displacement awareness’???”
“You know HOW many spells? HOW? ... What do you mean ‘my spell book’?”
“Ooooh, you’re just summoning water portions from the Plane of Water... Lol I thought I HAD to combine hydrogen and oxygen molecules to generate water in small amounts. That’s so much easier then what I was doing!”
Tags via @mia7437
the people wanted more youtube worldbuilding ^^
one | three
Huntr/x never beating the Autism allegations smh 😔✊
love when you go to the club and the DJ sets the water level up high and everyone starts swimmin
and you just know someone's gonna scream "DJ! play fish music!" and everyone's gonna act like their favorite fish 😁
since mrs, ms, and mr are all descended from the latin word magister, i propose the gender neutral version should be mg, short for "mage"
some people think this is a shitpost so i want to clarify that i am dead fucking serious. make mage the official gender neutral honorific NOW. i want it on my passport. i want it on my bank account. i want doctors and judges to use it for me. i don't care if it sounds a little silly. people thought "missus" sounded crass at first. call me mg.
benefits of mg:
easy to pronounce, even for children (though kids 4 & younger may pronounce it more like "mayd" or "maygh")
ONE SYLLABLE!!! ("individual" is too goddamn LONG.) you have to be able to say it quickly and casually
ends in a soft vowel sound, so it'll flow right into the next word ("ind" halts the whole sentence)
fits neatly into the existing structure as a relative of master/mistress that can be abbreviated down to an m and one other letter
distinct enough that it can't be mistaken for either gendered term (if you call me mix I'll kill you. it sounds like miss with extra steps)
wizard.
drawbacks:
there aren't any
yes, i know about milligrams and magnesium. i don't give a shit. ms can also mean microsoft. who cares.
Mg. [lastname]
See it just works
I love this.
sits on my own blog like it’s the edge of a lake wistfully
skips a stone over a few posts
My Rhino Prime artwork for Warframe Zine
I’m p
Yes I’m
Yes hmmms ow
Eh
Tnhk
Tumblr wouldn’t let me upload the video but I let the mice write a tumblr post for me and this is the result :^)
i thought that was just. a regular tumblr post and accepted it
Just learned about recency bias, coolest thing ive ever learned about lol
writing omegaverse CPR because apparently that's how my brain expresses itself these days
I didn't realize this referred to a ship and was super confused at why omegaverse cardiopulmonary resuscitation would different from non-omegaverse, like oh no what does the knot do now
