[the-green-witch-project]

Some nights I stay up (reading Ao3 fic)

Inspired by the amazing Hallelujah video, I have created… this.

[classof1985]

if you add leg and pull on the reins at the same time, your horse takes a screenshot

[bettedavisgf]

i love it when cats wake up from a nap and come to find you they’re like ummmm i was just thinking about this and we need to cuddle

[yo-its-matt]

what is it about me sitting in my little corner of the Internet and saying “I actually don’t hate myself as an adult now and I want to be nice to people and that’s my entire thing” that makes these anons start foaming at the mouth

[yo-its-matt]

I’ll be perfectly honest, I’ve spent the better part of a decade wishing I weren’t fucking alive and beating depression off with a caveman’s wooden club. If I get to a point in my adult life after all that shit where I can finally say “I don’t want to see myself dead anymore, I like who I am” and you have the gall to tell me I have too much self confidence now, I’m gonna take the club I killed my depression with and I’m gonna start beating you with it

[yo-its-matt]

Basically,

[kvothes]

the inherent tension between the acronyms JFC, JFK, and KFC .......

[zforzelma]

kentucky fried christ

[exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear]

jesus fucking kennedy

[whetstonefires]

john f. chicken

[airandangels]

[kla1991]

advice from the tutant meenage neetle teetles

[kajbsdfhgioigjhfdsahjsid]

me bathing my dog: ohhhhh does she like the water!!! is it waaarrrm!!! ooooo shes gonna be so cleeeaaaan shes a clean little goorrrl gonna smell so goooood!!!!!

my dog in the tub looking like a sad wet rat:

[crustywhitedogenthusiast]

[scumbagsblog]

I looked through the notes and these are definitely the best examples of OP’s point

[skenpiel]

[shmegel]

[insomniac-arrest]

reasons I’ve seen people staying on tumblr:

don’t understand twitter

don’t understand twitter

posts are in chronological order

spite

no other website has the same ambiance of gothic confusion and unrelatable obtuse content

they are a hapless pornbot who knows not of the end coming for their quivering female presenting nipples

mega spite

 like normal spite but you’re posting dick pics before The End

Direct Contact with the Memes

god, wht the fuk even is twitter

they tried to leave but woke up again on tumblr like it’s the Groundhog’s Day movie

[insomniac-arrest]

More reasons:

tumblr allows us to post in any format medium we choose (image, long text post, sound, or video)

shitposting just isn’t the fking same anywhere else

like some sort of ancient slumbering giant this is where we have laid for many a century and Will Not Get Up Again (aka can’t be bothered)

[cityelf]

This is the only godforsaken place I can have an open online presence where my fucking family haven’t managed to find me so you can pry it from my cold, dead, nippleless hands

[running-with-toast]

my tumblr dashboard is like a glass-bottom boat. I’ve curated it to the point that most of the time it’s smooth sailing, I see cool fish sometimes. And then sometimes, hundreds of meters down, I catch a tip of the fin of something really fucking weird, and then it’s gone again. Can’t get such a uniquely haunting experience like that anywhere else.

[blvcksvgvr]

I’ve been here for a fucking decade. Sometimes I think I’ve seen everything. I do enjoy seeing ancient posts regain popularity and newer users freak out over it.

[elvarasokazokakurvaelvarasok-de]

[fungiblegoods]

[thechanelmuse]

[moeeskeekin]

Literally the best post I’ve ever seen

[kofukune]

@wolfthedragon

[hannibalism]

shawn and gus screaming is peak comedy 

[gahdamnpunk]

Beautiful.

[sailorcuba]

the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u

[arborealgargoyle]

like, that is a very unspecific response I still have no idea what you want but I applaud how adorably you meowed all the same, well done

[arborealgargoyle]

This post led me to reminisce on the nature of cat’s meowing, and I have a funny story

I befriended a feral cat once who had spent her life in the forest without human interaction. I was worried about her because she had a paw damaged from an old injury and was emaciated but obviously nursing kittens that were hidden away somewhere. It took me weeks of putting out food and sitting across the yard every evening for her to trust me even a little and when she decided we were friends and she expected dinner every night she started coming to my door and trying to call for me in the evening, but she didn’t meow. Why would she? Cats only meow naturally as kittens when their vocal chords/ears aren’t fully developed, adult cats communicate with vocalizations that aren’t audible to humans. She probably tried making noises I couldn’t hear to call me but ended up sticking to the one I always responded to- a horrible yowling growl that she had made at me when we first encountered each other in the forest. Except once we were friends she would make this noise while purring and rubbing affectionately against a nearby tree or the porch railing (because she didn’t want to touch me yet). This understandably freaked my family members out but I was touched that she had taken the time to find a way to basically yell FUCK OFF in an affectionate way.

Fast forward to when she finally trusts me enough to bring her hidden kittens out of the forest to me, long story short I gained their trust and put them in this big pen, that I had previously used to keep chickens in, so they’d be safe and to keep her from having another litter. Except she was already secretly pregnant again! (Fix your pets, guys, they make SO many babies) and ended up having her new babies in this pen. I kept my distance, sitting on the outside once they were born until she seemed comfortable enough to let me come inside. The kittens were a bit wild, hissing viscously at me as soon as they opened their eyes, but they warmed up to me. There were four of them and soon they all wanted to be the center of attention during the twice daily play sessions. I’d be playing with one and another would meow insistently behind me and I’d immediately answer them and give them love, teaching them that humans could be friends that answer their needs- making them adoptable once they were weaned. Mama cat (Artie) would just watch me play with them, and I guess she was doing some thinking because one day when they were about a month old I was playing with them and one meowed behind me. I was confused because I hadn’t realized there was a kitten behind me and when I turned, there wasn’t. The only cat there was Artie looking at me really intensely. I turned back around to the kittens and I heard the meow again, I turned back to Artie and responded in the way I always did with the kittens “yes baby?” And she meowed again in an exact imitation of her kittens! After that she would.not.shut.up. It was like she had cracked some kind of code, meowing for attention and snacks and just to say hi. Her two older kittens, the ones she’d had in the forest, had never meowed at me either but started to once they saw how I responded to their mom. and I find it endlessly fascinating because before that it had never occurred to me that cats only meow at humans because they were taught by other cats to keep meowing past kittenhood because that’s the best way to get a human’s attention.

Imagine befriending some weird giant with the wrong number of legs that you met in the forest who seems nice enough but doesn’t seem to be able to hear you, until your friend explains that all they can understand is fuck off! And I’m a baby give me love!

[followthebluebell]

adulthood is just a constant struggle of, “man, i want cookies for breakfast, but I also recognize this is a bad nutritional decision.  On the other hand, the only one who can stop me is me.  i know that fucker’s weaknesses.  i could totally take me in a fight.”

[dreamingofbabylon]

frog and toad are my two remaining brain cells struggling to keep my horrible body alive

[badassdemonsword]

[corvodumpy]

Oh come on you HAVE to include the footage.

[vote-for-eggman]

???????????????

[bonni]

I just saw a gifset that split the word "beautiful" into 3 gifs and I think this one may be the new t hanos

[kineticpenguin]

You’re laughing. She has a urinary tract infection and you’re laughing

[hndwrttn]

[chuplayswithfire]

[burglarsonarceny]

[detectivehole]

i can understand the use of large house for a family but what do those single rich fucks with the goddamn true mansions do with all that space exactly? like let's table all valid criticisms of the spending and constructing of them aside and just focus on what exactly you do with that space

[chefboyard-bag]

As a real estate photographer I can tell you with a confidence that most of that space is entirely unused. Extra kitchens which have never seen a meal, billiards rooms with untouched felt, an office that no one has ever worked in, a second, or third family room, that no family member has spent any significant amount of time in. I once shot a place with a walk-in closet so large the dude had an 8-person dining room table in the middle of it.. like.. no one is hanging out in your closet homie.. maybe downsize?

[detectivehole]

this is a fantastic answer, thank you for replying. sadly it confirmed my fears that these people are all insane

[severalowls]

Traditionally mansions and manors had a lot of space because they were the lifelong homes of multiple generations of a family (the lord and lady, their unmarried children and heirs, and various widowed aunts and in-laws), dozens of servants, and rooms or even wings set aside for a constantly rotating cast of guests who had travelled days or weeks to visit so of course they were going to stay a while.

Now there's just Hank, Kate, Keighleyee, and their sterile palace.

[somecunttookmyurl]

#obviously the landed gentry had uuuuuh their own problems but at least their nonsense houses were actual homes

[elidyce]

There was also the Social Obligation Space issue. Take the Regency period, for example, because that’s where my expertiese is.

Travel was expensive, uncomfortable, tiring, and time-consuming. Multiple guest rooms were genuinely necessary if you ever wanted to see anyone who didn’t live within a few miles because if your family spent two days coming to visit they weren’t going to turn around and head home the same day. Social visits of multiple weeks were the norm, and even a month or two wasn’t excessive if you really liked each other and wanted to hang out. 

If you were rich, there was also the House Party/Family Function/Rural Ball/Whatever obligations, where politeness actively required you to have room for everyone to sleep over. Not only that, they were all going to bring personal servants, and you had to be able to sleep them too. Anyone with the budget was socially obligated to maintain a number of spare rooms for both rich people and servants. 

(An important indication of the Deeply Impoverished state of the Dashwood ladies in ‘Sense and Sensibility’ is that they have only one spare bedroom, and are thus very much socially isolated because they can’t accommodate more than one visitor with no servants.)

In addition to this, impoverished relations, widowed sisters or daughters with their children, aged or disabled servants and an endlessly changing number of maids, valets, nurses, governesses, etc might need to be housed temporarily or permanently at any time. Visiting lawyers, men of business, sick-nurses and attendants, midwives/doctors specialising in childbirth, uninvited relatives or even just benighted travellers were also infrequent but unavoidable guests.

(Sense and Sensibility again - Henry Dashwood was required by social and moral obligation to give his widowed stepmother and three half sisters a home. If they’d decided to stay at the house permanently, he and his wife would have caused a serious scandal by evicting them, which is probably why Fanny was such a bitch to them from the outset. She didn’t want them to stay and had absolutely no other way of stopping them)

There was a time when at least six or seven spare bedrooms was a bare minimum for fulfilling one’s social and moral obligations. 

That time is not now. Now it’s just weird and wasteful.