Hi

[schreibaby-of-the-skies]

Happy Saturday, December 6th!

[normal-horoscopes]

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: The road you travel is lonely, but know that it is not the only way. Depends if you consider panthers company.

Taurus: In the future everyone is made of spare parts. You’re just ahead of the curve.

Gemini: Sacred cows make sacred burgers. Keep in mind, sacred does not mean tasty.

Cancer: The shapes in the rain are fragile. They will pass with the storm. They vanish at the slightest touch. Enjoy the dance while you can.

Leo: The secrets you have follow you around like little fireflies. 

Virgo: There is something person shaped on your roof at night. It pries out your roofing nails with its teeth and eats them. 

Libra: The engines of calamity learned to reforge themselves, to make themselves into new and more perfect forms.

Scorpio: Hey Scorpio, try not to fall in any wells today. The stars and I figured you weren’t planning on it, but just keep and extra sharp eye out for wells.

Ophiuchus: You want to know? You want the answer? Some things deserve a deeper dive.

Sagittarius: You’ve been waiting to say something Sagittarius. The time draws near. Carry some air horns so you know you’ll have the audiences attention.

Capricorn: You were supposed to drown at your local water park but you didn’t. Good job I guess?

Aquarius: If you are to destroy something. Do it with as little attention as possible. Pay no mind. 

Pisces:  Nuapurista kuulu se polokan tahti jalakani pohjii kutkutti.

[floppyschoice]

the cha cha slide in full metal armor

[floppyschoice]

“sliiide to the left”

*indescribably loud screeching of metal against asphalt*

[floppyschoice]

“one hop this time”

*clonk*

“two hops this time”

*clonk clonk*

[floppyschoice]

“everybody clap your hands!”

*clankclankclankclankclank*

[snakeybones]

Ask and ye shall receive ft. my drunk ass Any other requests? Send ‘em my way! 

[opossumscribbles]

A sticker has been added to the pack. I’m gonna use this one often.

[berenshand]

some highlights from my students’ romeo and juliet modern interpretation projects:

- someone made a username for friar laurence with 420 at the end - the same kid who put 69 in romeo’s username like i wouldn’t know what either of those things mean - the girl who added ‘clean’ at the end of all the songs on her juliet playlist like lmao girl i know spotify doesn’t have the clean version - the kid who said romeo and juliet killed each other - the weird dichotomy of kids who put love story on their playlist vs the kids who choose bad blood - the kid who wrote ‘get a room’ as tybalt’s comment on romeo’s couple pic - the kid who said ‘romeo is probably one of those douches who follows a ton of people so they follow him back and then he unfollows all of them’ - the one who legitimately used the word ‘alrighty’ do kids say this in their text messages???? i thought i was the one talking like an elderly person but okay - the one who made romeo’s username ‘montagoose’ - the only kid who acknowledged that posting about your secret relationship on instagram was a bad idea - the girl who wrote that romeo would unironically say ‘#blessed’. she’s right. - the one single solitary girl who wrote mercutio as gay as shakespeare did (she’s also the only one who used mercutio at all which is a tragedy but whatever) - the one who wrote romeo’s insta bio as ‘thus with a kiss i die… LOL RIP ME 😂💀’ - the one who made benvolio’s username benvoliYO

[thatsnicebutimmarried]

You are an excellent teacher

[pragmaculture]

Ladies and gentlemen, our national bird!

[kylemeister1-deactivated2018120]

it is currently ｒｅａｌ ｋｉｗｉ ｈｏｕｒｓ

[mad-hare]

animals that evolved with no natural predators are amazing

[viewtiful-kim-deactivated202105]

Hamlet adaptation where Hamlet is a vlogger and all his soliloquies are breakdowns he uploads to YouTube

[animatedamerican]

… I am unironically here for this

[oldfilmsflicker]

this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

[statsdead-deactivated20200602]

just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

[3828281493392929-deactivated201]

where are you gonna keep it

[statsdead-deactivated20200602]

:)

[ginger-ale-official]

I don’t like this post very much

[silly-overwatch-stuff]

“I like to use a spray to measure the perfect cliff charge distance”

By thar_

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

This is the most vile thing I’ve seen in some time

[utau-the-oreo-god]

@rivet-the-ringtail

[sungodsinexile]

[tonightweredrinkingfromthebong]

screenshots dont do this justice

[broitsablog]

*inhuman clicking*

[frostychica]

the millennial steve irwin

[tredlocity]

Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one

[tredlocity]

Mood to the max!

[tredlocity]

Tubular af

[tredlocity]

Where’s the beef? (say this while dabbing)

[cheaphalloweencostume]

allow me to draw you a diagram of my boyfriends pajama pants

[cheaphalloweencostume]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

-he refuses to get new ones on the basis that “i’m not wearing these anywhere” and i’m like oh my god what good can they possibly be doing you

-he insists this “just happens” to everyone and won’t give me specifics on how or when it happened

-“they’re good for peeing”

-i ordered him new ones because he looks like he’s wearing cupcake assless chaps

[niuniente]

Black Cryptid

[heterochromia-cat-deactivated20]

indeed

[pockutwalt]

drew art of this VERY good cryptid!!!

[11thsense]

A representation of my thought process at all times

[angelbabyspice]

this is literally how teenagers talk irl

[thesilencedmasses]

This literally sounds like a voice-acted recreation of a group chat

[sketchstick-deactivated20201225]

[catchymemes]

Choose wisely