Shits and Giggles @justforpoopsandlaughs - Tumblr Blog

Ok, God, I am fucking wheezing, I got trained to work with mice today since I’ll need them for some experiments and the guy who trained me was like, “Yeah ok so if there’s a day where you just absolutely cannot get your mice to cooperate you can always do this” and picks up this cone-shaped bag and just put the mouse face-first into it and shows it to me and I lose my shit because deadass it was a piping-bag of mouse. Like, the whole mouse was pressed into this cone, fur and ears and feet all pressed up against the plastic, tail sticking up absurdly out of the top of the thing. It was so unimaginably fucking funny but like the mouse was perfectly ok with it, there’s a hole for air at the bottom so she could breathe and all but it was genuinely the most absurd thing I have witnessed in months

bastardcircus

THIS IS FUCKING IT, IT’S SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS!!!!!

unclefather

you will be turned to icing if you don’t start acting correctally.

trinitite-princess

naughty rodents go into the i c i n g c o n e

incel-rights-advocate-deactivat

creative-anchorage

[ID: tweet by slate @PleaseBeGneiss: it’s so funny how santa only gives presents to good kids but the easter bunny is like i don’t give a shit what you did, i just need to offload these fucking eggs

Reply from a real life manikin! @Bodangle2: Same, got ten chickens that lay about 8 eggs a day. Ive been throwing them at the deer to keep em out of the garden but they’ve been licking the eggs off of each other and now they want me to hit em with eggs. Its a complete nightmare. End ID.]

#image described

aeschylus-stan-account

Unintentionally humorous moment in this Yiddish translation of King Lear: for "unburden'd, crawl towards death," the translator has "באַפֿרײַט פֿון לאַסט/מיר װעלן שלעפּ זיך דעם טאָיט אַנקעגן". For "crawl", the translator chose "drag myself", which is fine, except that the word in Yiddish is one you'll already know: "schlep".* "I will schlep myself toward death," said King Lear.

*granted, the word probably doesn't have the same connotation in Yiddish--it just means "to drag" and is appropriate, but to a modern reader? That's incredible.

(snicker)

Worst part of living with animals is the night time sloppy licking cleaning noises I'm sorry but I cannot sleep . Please fhcking stop please please olease

whateverdyke

needsmoreresearch

i’d better be seeing cousin oskaar on my dash this morning

needsmoreresearch

do everything my goddamn self around here

nitewrighter

I was about to make a post about like… how my family has this lemon tree out front, and one of the funniest things about having a lemon tree is occasionally I’ll be out in front doing whatever and I’ll see someone walking past and quickly grab a lemon off the tree and stuff it in their pockets as quick as they can like they’re shoplifting.

I was about to make a post about how that’s funny and how, y’know people can have our lemons, it’s not a big deal because the tree pumps them out like gangbusters, but I really can’t make that post without thinking of… them…