lots of people ask me why i take pride in my sexuality when im straight. they say "isnt that like a cishet person being proud of being straight?" and its really not.
yhats like saying a trans woman being proud that shes a woman is the same as a cis woman being proud of being a woman. its not.
one comes from many years and long long hours spent self reflecting and figuring out who you are instead of seeing it paraded everywhere and forced on you from birth. one you never doubt for a second is who you are because when everyone else tells you what youre supposed to be you just go "oh that sounds right ill go with that". while the other is spent staring at this perfect picture that someone has drawn of what they want you to be, but you know its wrong. the terminology seems right, but you can tell its not meant for the real you.
all my life being told im supposed to be straight, attracted to men as a woman. and i just couldnt tell what was off for the longest time. i knew it wasnt right for me, but i couldnt figure it out what wasnt right.
i thought i was a lesbian for the longest time, but i finally came to the realization that im a man and not a woman in any respect.
ive had people from all over the lgbt community telling me that i shouldnt be taking rpide in my sexuality because its not "oppressed". if you talk to any straight trans person, theyll tell you the same thing. theyre treated like theyre not part of the lgbt community because theyre not gay. theyre told that being trans doesnt make you lgbt. that you should be ashamed of trying to live the perfect straight wet dream when youre really gay inside.
ive spent years thinking on my sexuality, and i can confidently say that im not gay. i dont like men in any respect. i only like women and im okay with that. but guess what? im still trans and that fits me under the lgbt umbrella. im still lgbt enough even tho i dont like men. because im trans.
ive had cis people tell me that im really a lesbian in denial. that trans people cant have a sexuality because transexual is their sexuality. ive had trans people tell me once i start passing ill be just as bad as any cishet man.
those people forget that being trans isnt my whole personality, that its not a small part of my personality. they forget that at my core im still trans and being trans has sculpted my outlook of the world. ive had to live under so many different names and identities. ive been able to live in a lot of different peoples shoes to get to where i am now. im not going to forget all of the hell i went thru and give that sort of pain back to those who arent like me. ive had to learn compassion intimately. im not going to forget it the second someone thinks of me as a cis man. i havent forgotten it.
at the end of the day, im going to be happy that ive been able to find out who i am. im going to be happy to learn that im a straight trans man. im going to rejoice in it. im going to live as myself and enjoy every second of it. me living like this isnt the same as a cishet persons enjoyment of their life because im not cis. i will never know what its like to be a man who didnt go thru my struggles.
so, im going to enjoy my life as a straight trans man and rejoice in knowing myself better than what others know me as.
stormborns
izzy806
tangentwithtanner
titsay
